Timing and the word "Love"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 1:56 PM GMT
    I was just interested in seeing how long you guys waited before you told someone (a romantic or sexual partner) that you loved them.

    Also, what causes you to tell someone you love them?

    Actually, I'll extend this discussion to any type of relationship (romantic, sexual, friend, new in-laws, etc)
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    May 15, 2010 2:56 PM GMT
    i never took the "L" word seriously when he and I were both naked, hard and less than sober. icon_lol.gif
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    May 15, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Soulasphyx said[/cite]I was just interested in seeing how long you guys waited before you told someone (a romantic or sexual partner) that you loved them."

    When I felt it and was sure of my feelings.

    "Also, what causes you to tell someone you love them?"

    When I want them to know, for various reasons, sometimes bring them up, sometimes to bring me up.

    -Doug
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    May 15, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    Do you care what happens to him as much as what happens to you?
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 15, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    Yeah... That L word thing. Um I was raised in a British environment, I'm not so good with saying that word. It's reserved for Animals and Foods. Rarely people.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    May 15, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    I say it to a man I've been dating when I'm certain that I can honor it with my heart, not just my dick (sorry, but being blunt) and when I am certain that nobody else would have me wondering if I should have said so. I have, once before, spoken much too quickly and it was a painful mistake.
    My last partner of 16 years and I said it to each other within days of meeting. (That was not too soon, in that instance, it was very true.) It's still true, but its context has shifted to something unique, which brings us to

    Friends - I say it when I realize that if I were without them it would all be a little darker and more lonely, and that I cannot let the moment pass, for fear they may not hear it.

    As far as Family goes, I grew up hearing it, sharing it, and saying it with my family, and I say it again when I feel time racing by me, or when I realize that their stupidity and insanity still isn't a deal breaker.

    I say it to the dead, each time I meditate on them or visit their grave.

    And always -- and this is going to upset or confuse some folks, I know - but always it seems to me, particularly as I get older, that saying "I love you" is half spoken out loud to the the person I love, and half whispered to God as a prayer of thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    Soulasphyx saidI was just interested in seeing how long you guys waited before you told someone (a romantic or sexual partner) that you loved them.

    Also, what causes you to tell someone you love them?

    Actually, I'll extend this discussion to any type of relationship (romantic, sexual, friend, new in-laws, etc)


    Why do certain words and their meaning scare you?

    Why are other peoples definition of Love more important then yours?

    Really when is there a good or bad time to use any word? Until you use it and see what happens you'll never know.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    May 15, 2010 7:22 PM GMT
    my boyfriend and I tell eachother "I love you" alll the time.

    After about 3 months of steadily dating he said it to me while we were laying in bed.

    I had wanted to say it to him for about a month, but didn't have the balls as I thought it was too soon, but when he said it to me i was like "I love u too"

    would I would say before we started saying "I love you" was...."I just love being with you" that was my round about way of saying I love you.


    oh danny, I just love being with you so much

    translation:
    I love you so much


    Um, what made me wanna say it was the fact that I knew I loved him, i just felt it...like a strong emotion. . I guess u just kind of know when it hits u.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 7:34 PM GMT
    I think the main thing is to mean it if you say it. Now, I don't know that it is possible to love someone until you know them pretty well - so try not to confuse love with infatuation. But if you know you love someone, why not tell them? If you are scared it might scare them away - I say nothing ventured nothing gained.
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    May 15, 2010 9:43 PM GMT
    I always waited a good long time before saying something like that. Like when I couldn't imagine life without that person in it. (which is why I've only said it to two lovers, and family)

    I say it when I feel like it fits. When I'm saying goodbye for the night. Or if his mind is sitting heavy with something.. just so he remembers I got his back. All depends on what sort of dynamic you and your partner have. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
    You should say it when you can't help but say it. That's the right time.

    What causes it?



    Why do we cry?

    Why do we hope?

    Why do we dream?


    These questions don't have a thing to do with calendars, clocks, rules, theories, statistics, language, RJ forums, and other meaningless artifacts of the rational world.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    May 15, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    i think you just know when, and there is no such thing as time.
    I always feel a switch go off and i know if someone will be in my life for ever or if i will love them

    i go by intuition. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    I tell my straight friends I love them, just because I do.
    I can't tell my gay friends that because they'd think I wanna fuck them. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    not many gaymen, let alone many people, do not know what Love is..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI tell my straight friends I love them, just because I do.
    I can't tell my gay friends that because they'd think I wanna fuck them. icon_lol.gif

    haha! I Grok!