Why Is the "Club" so important for some gay men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    I find in Philly, the lack of black gay clubs is paramount,
    but I'd been in other cities like Miami, DC, New York City,
    and I find them all to be boring and pretentious.

    It's just me, and I get that, but I am retired from dancing,
    and socializing over drinks is the only thing I want to do.
    I'm an old head now. and I love it...
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    May 15, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    I think that it is because it is a place where some guys can go and let their hair down, so to speak, and not have to deal with the "I'm going to mean-mug, lean up against the wall, and bob my head. If somebody steps on my Timberlands, I am going to fuck them up" bullshit. It is also a place where if you dance with a guy there is no sense of people staring at you with a wtf look.

    But the biggest reason: if you hit on a guy, 9 times out of 10, he is gay.
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    May 15, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    true, i get that.
    i never thought of it that.
    and its beats always meeting guys
    online...but i am afraid that its a judgment
    call in the community of man-on-man that
    if one goes to the club a lot, he must be
    a queen, or if one doesn't, he must be
    a bore. other way...you say fuck it, do you,
    because no one is gonna do you if they
    think like that....
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    May 15, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    True. I know guys that build their weeks around going to the club. They plan their outfits, etc. That is cool if you are into that. But who wants to be a bar or club fly?

    One of the reasons that I have not been to a straight black club or bar in years is because of what I wrote above. There are a few guys dancing, but most of them are posted up on the wall because it isn't cool to dance. You just stand there and bob your head, muggin' the whole time. Ridiculous.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    May 15, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    I've never been to one or had any attraction for it personally.
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 15, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    Oh it's all a laugh with friends for me. Plus I love to dance, act a fool and have a cocktail or nine. Plus the added bonus of making fun of the pretentious snobs never gets old.
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    May 15, 2010 5:35 PM GMT
    Its what most of the youth do gay, bi or breeders.
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    May 15, 2010 10:38 PM GMT
    For the same reason the bar is important for straight guys...
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    May 16, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    Being raised in a southern hick town with almost 100% ugliness and Wal-Mart junkies made me appreciate the pretentiousness of Miami. Now I cringe at the thought of even visiting family in that dried up ghost town.
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    May 27, 2010 10:48 AM GMT
    Depends on what the club is like in the city you're living in, too.

    In Ohio there was a place that had gay nights once a week. Its not a big city, so, you'd start seeing some of the same people every week, making friends, and then it got to be a place where you had friends and looked forward to seeing them.

    I duno, for about three years when I was in school there, it just had a really good vibe. The people that went were outgoing and fun. They had a good DJ. Drink prices were alright. It was something that added something to my life instead of taking away from it.

    A couple of the guys that went were bi jock types and we had hella fun on the dance floor every week. It was a good group where a lot of people had confidence and built each other up instead of breaking people down.

    And yeah, its the total opposite in a lot of other places.