"hookup" (Not the typical bashing post)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    Ok, first of all, I am not bashing nor advocating hookup. I just watched a documentary about gay sex in the 1970s and had an epiphany. Of course, I wasn't born then so I would have no idea about what it was like. But one of the interview made a comment about hookup which I found really interesting and relevant in terms of psychological analysis. He said that "sexual part about hookup was intense but it was MORE about not being alone. Having a certain energy; you want to get out there and meet somebody and be with somebody. So that you can call up somebody and say “Can I come over and see you?”. It was a sexual call but it was also a statement that I don’t want to be alone."

    The part about not being alone kind of strikes me odd. I'm sure some of you had some booty call where you call someone or you are the bootycall, think about what you are saying. Is it really about sex or is it more about you not wanting to be alone? And how many times have you had expectation that you want that hookup to turn into a friends with benefits, relationship but was let down? Just putting this out there. What do you think? True or False or partly true, partly false?
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    May 16, 2010 8:11 AM GMT
    MuchMore, you know I heart you, but since when did you take up the mantel and language of the religious right to describe nonmarital sex?

    huh? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    May 16, 2010 12:15 PM GMT
    French,
    l think there is a strong case for that in regard to many gay guys especially in the past. I don't think all guys are sluts/whores though. People have the drive to eat, doesn't mean they are all gluttonous with food, so is the same in regard to sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    When I have a hookup it's because I'm horny.
    I love living by myself, and have no intention of having a live-in lover. Loneliness is a condition created by a society that tells us we're "supposed" to be with someone. I don't fall for that shit.
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    May 16, 2010 1:08 PM GMT
    meh, I've not much interest in connecting with a hookup and I'm not into cuddling or being sweet or affectionate, with a hookup it's more about me getting off and getting him off, it's probably far more an ego thing for me rather then a feeling lonely, I feel good when I've gotten a guy off and I feel awesome when I get off so it's kinda win win there!

    Yup, I'm a whore... a total whore, but then, I don't just take anyone to bed with me but lots of guys I meet are a conquest, but not to gloat to anyone since I rarely actually speak about the guys I sleep with
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    May 16, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    I need the emotional connection. Never used to, was quite good at the triple F - Find'em, Fuck'em, Forget'em.

    Not so much anymore - for me the best part of sex comes after, when you're cuddling.I can't really hookup anymore because I get all emotionally attached afterwards. Not that I'm sending a torrent of texts or anything, but when they don't call well...bruises my ego.

    So yeah, for me it is about the human contact with another like-minded man, but it's because of that that I no longer 'hook up'

    Though men are weak, and we all have our weak moments....icon_redface.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    May 16, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidMuchMore, you know I heart you, but since when did you take up the mantel and language of the religious right to describe nonmarital sex?

    huh? icon_rolleyes.gif



    Yeah, we should all just sleep around with each other like....um.....male whores. Let's face it, MMM was using the correct terminology. This has absolutely nothing to do with religion. I am particular about whom I would play a game of chess with, why the hell wouldn't I be allowed to be particular about whom I have sex with. I'm not looking for some depraved sex predator on a sick mindfuck tangent looking to score with as many guys as he can. Why is it someone with the lowest menial values expects everyone else to have the same values, religious right or depraved left?

    Some guys are actually looking for a caring connection with another guy and sex is, as we all should know, just one way of communicating that connection. Sex can mean different things to different guys.

    And queue eyeroll: icon_rolleyes.gif

    The man in the documentary, I have met and know guys like him. He is extremely lonely even though he has a lot of people in his life that care about him. Perhaps he is looking for a love or acceptance from someone else that he does not have for himself.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 2:21 PM GMT
    paulflexes said Loneliness is a condition created by a society that tells us we're "supposed" to be with someone. I don't fall for that shit.


    That's not true. As animals, humans have the need to feel and be connected to others, whether it's an intimate or a platonic relationship. Some require that connection more than others.

    As for the hook-up, I'd have to say that it's a combination of both, the need to sexually release or the need of not wanting to be alone. Some can be honest about why they have/want the hook-up, others choose not to be honest about it. Either way, hooking up is means to an end, just be careful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 2:39 PM GMT
    Seems to me if you really didn’t want to be alone you would at least spend the night.
    I think it more about the excitement of new dick; the endorphin rush created by the primal lust—very addicting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    How interesting. I never thought of hook-ups that way, as a means to not be alone besides having sex.

    After coming out I gave up one-night stands very fast. While I got off, the connectedness-part was never satisfying. I only went home with someone I really liked and was interested in seeing again most of the time, which almost never happened. After a number of frustrations I gave up on one-night stands and decided that bath-houses are the better alternative for me.