Ex dating your enemy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 7:37 AM GMT
    My relationship with my ex lasted about 6 months. He is the only guy I've ever been serious with, and actually had a deep connection with. I really did think the world of him. Unfortunately, it came to an abrupt halt, and things ended on bad terms. We've been apart for awhile now.

    Subject change.
    We all have our enemies, or people we are discontent with. Well, I have mine. We've never gotten along, and we are always at eachothers throats.

    Subject change yet again.
    When I was with my ex, he gave me this little wristband. It may have have been something small, but it meant the world to me. It was him when he wasn't around. It smelt like him, and it oozed his personality. When my ex and I broke up, he asked for the wristband back. I sadly gave it back.

    AGAIN subject change (this will all tie in)
    I recently found out that my ex is dating my enemy. This really ate at me...but I tried to ignore it. When my relationship ended, I had intense feelings for my ex. I am still heartbroken about it.

    Last subject change.
    The other day I was walking around the local mall, casual wandering when.....I saw my enemy.....wearing the SAME wristband....

    This made me so upset, I began to feel my stomach turn. I ran into the bathrooms and puked. I can't believe it made me that upset. I am still upset. This is really really eating at my mind....
    Could this of been intentional?
    Advice?
    Comments?
    Anything?

    icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
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    May 16, 2010 7:39 AM GMT
    Enjoy life =)
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    May 16, 2010 8:02 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt really is tacky to ask for jewelry back from an ex only to give it to someone else. That says a lot about his character. And plus the fact that he asked for it back.


    Oh and not to be so nitpick-ish but invaluable is not a synonym for no value, it means it's beyond appraisal which is like your saying, "meant the world to me." Something that money can't by or that means the world to you is invaluable.


    Thank you, I changed it.
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    May 16, 2010 8:11 AM GMT
    Be the bigger man and forget about him. If you cross paths, do not speak to either of them, that usually gets their goat. If they frequent your hangouts (bars, cafes, etc.), don't let them push you out! If you have mutual friends, don't ask them to pick sides.

    Now, take some time to heal your heart, have a good talk with someone who is close to you, and focus on other positive things in your life.

    Hope I helped!
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    May 16, 2010 8:40 AM GMT
    He's a mean spirited person. Forget about him, but don't forget the lesson.
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    May 16, 2010 8:52 AM GMT
    I never had this happen to me but I feel for you. I'm sorry for the pain this has caused you... I think the posters above are right. It shows the depths of his character and it isn't good. I don't think he's worth it. Mend your wounded heart and strive onwards. The best is yet to come...
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    May 16, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    Wow...well, if anything this should give you some closure to any lingering heartbreak over your ex. You've just described a more than excellent reason why the man should be an ex; what he did says a lot about him.

    I'm not referring to him going out with someone you don't like.. he's an ex after all. I'm referring to the ultimate in damaging tacky by demanding back a gift given out of love, then displaying it on the hand (wrist) of another.

    The symbolism of this act is beyond crass. Its intent is hurt; consider yourself fortunate you're out. Whew!

    Now how's the orange peel candy guy? That story and result was phenomenal.

    hug -Doug
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    May 16, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    Take the high road; sounds as if they deserve each other.

  • May 16, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt really is tacky to ask for jewelry back from an ex only to give it to someone else. That says a lot about his character. And plus the fact that he asked for it back.


    Oh and not to be so nitpick-ish but invaluable is not a synonym for no value, it means it's beyond appraisal which is like your saying, "meant the world to me." Something that money can't by or that means the world to you is invaluable.


    Not only is it tacky to ask for a gift given back, but it is equally tacky for him to give the same gift to his current. This tells me that your ex has no class and a one note wonder. It is like a guy who plays the same stupid song to every girl he is trying to impress. It also says alot about his concerns for your feeling to start dating your enemy, if he knows this is your enemy.

    Move on my friend and give yourself time and space to heal. You should not judge or jealous of your enemy as you and your "enemy" may hate each other because you both like the same guy (your ex) or your enemy may purposefully date your ex to get at you. We never know.
    I am going to re-state the saying of "There are other fish in the sea" and change it to "There are other studs in the bullpen" Go out and MEAT other studs!!!
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    May 16, 2010 2:53 PM GMT
    What do you bet that the aforementioned bracelet hasn't seen the last of its temporary owners? I wonder how many guys wore this bracelet before you?

    Say goodbye to any thoughts of this guy. Let him go. A brilliant priest advised me once about what to do with people who caused me pain. The advice was to "Let them go." Imagine going to a window, opening it - and letting something unpleasant (a fly, an odor, a bad person in your life - anything you don't like) just go out and away from you. Then, close the window and try not to think much about what you let go out that window. They go on with their life - you get to go on with yours. Now - you have room for someone really good in your life.
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  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    May 16, 2010 2:58 PM GMT
    It's perfectly natural for this to hit you pretty hard. But i think we've all had moments like that. Being in charge of your own life means you'll work to put it behind you and move on. As you get older, you'll find such things still hurt - but as you gain experience, it gets easier to take control and move on. It's all part of becoming a mature, good person. The bumps are what make us who we are, and you can let them make you a worse person - or you can grow and learn from them.

    Your ex sounds like he isn't worth the time you're letting this thing devour.

    Move on, put it behind you - and good luck!
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 16, 2010 3:01 PM GMT




    That's all you got to do... lol no but seriously all you can do is move on, or get even and I would get even but that's just me I don't have much a heart for people who have hurt me
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    May 16, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    The best revenge is always success, and in some cases simply ignoring the people in question.
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    May 16, 2010 3:06 PM GMT
    Find a voodoo doctor and put a curse on them both lol only half kidding
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 16, 2010 3:08 PM GMT
    WickedRyan saidFind a voodoo doctor and put a curse on them both lol only half kidding







    icon_rolleyes.gif seriously, why doesn't he just call Jesus to come over and kick their ass while he's at it


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 16, 2010 3:13 PM GMT
    While I've never had the same experience (i've only had 1 bf), can imagine it does cause you some upset.

    But I can relate. I'm sure you would like to do something to make it plain how cincy their behavior is!

    My suggestion is don't. Your not absolutely positive if it is the same wristband and even if it is, learn from his poor judgement. Sometimes in life we need to adhere to the higher road ... years from now you'll be glad you did. Focus your energy on self improvement. Hopefully the next guy won't be the kind that would follow in this kind of behavior.
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    May 16, 2010 3:28 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidWhat do you bet that the aforementioned bracelet hasn't seen the last of its temporary owners? I wonder how many guys wore this bracelet before you?

    Say goodbye to any thoughts of this guy. Let him go. A brilliant priest advised me once about what to do with people who caused me pain. The advice was to "Let them go." Imagine going to a window, opening it - and letting something unpleasant (a fly, an odor, a bad person in your life - anything you don't like) just go out and away from you. Then, close the window and try not to think much about what you let go out that window. They go on with their life - you get to go on with yours. Now - you have room for someone really good in your life.
    icon_cool.gif

    This is brilliant!

    you have absolutely nothing to gain, from pining over your Ex and how he has wronged you. If you obsess about him, you only give him power over your life. If you hate them, the hate will only damage you. If you want him back, you make yourself into a door-mat. Let him go and move on.

    Maybe it is to strong for this occasion but I have a mantra that helps me get over situations like this:
    "If you come or go,
    live or die,
    I don't care"
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    May 16, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    meninlove said Wow...well, if anything this should give you some closure to any lingering heartbreak over your ex. You've just described a more than excellent reason why the man should be an ex; what he did says a lot about him.

    I'm not referring to him going out with someone you don't like.. he's an ex after all. I'm referring to the ultimate in damaging tacky by demanding back a gift given out of love, then displaying it on the hand (wrist) of another.

    The symbolism of this act is beyond crass. Its intent is hurt; consider yourself fortunate you're out. Whew!

    Now how's the orange peel candy guy? That story and result was phenomenal.

    hug -Doug



    Your words are inspiring Doug. Thank you. Now, the orange candies. It went off really well. However, we really haven't gone past the point of really friendly friends...I'm giving it time. Thanks for asking!

    Hugs back! -Nathan
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    May 16, 2010 5:24 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidTake the high road; sounds as if they deserve each other.


    I couldn't agree more.
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    May 16, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    wade_in_BC saidBe the bigger man and forget about him. If you cross paths, do not speak to either of them, that usually gets their goat. If they frequent your hangouts (bars, cafes, etc.), don't let them push you out! If you have mutual friends, don't ask them to pick sides.

    Now, take some time to heal your heart, have a good talk with someone who is close to you, and focus on other positive things in your life.

    Hope I helped!


    No need for hope, monsieur. There is no doubt in my mind that you have helped.
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    May 16, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    bernd said
    Jockbod48 saidWhat do you bet that the aforementioned bracelet hasn't seen the last of its temporary owners? I wonder how many guys wore this bracelet before you?

    Say goodbye to any thoughts of this guy. Let him go. A brilliant priest advised me once about what to do with people who caused me pain. The advice was to "Let them go." Imagine going to a window, opening it - and letting something unpleasant (a fly, an odor, a bad person in your life - anything you don't like) just go out and away from you. Then, close the window and try not to think much about what you let go out that window. They go on with their life - you get to go on with yours. Now - you have room for someone really good in your life.
    icon_cool.gif

    This is brilliant!

    you have absolutely nothing to gain, from pining over your Ex and how he has wronged you. If you obsess about him, you only give him power over your life. If you hate them, the hate will only damage you. If you want him back, you make yourself into a door-mat. Let him go and move on.

    Maybe it is to strong for this occasion but I have a mantra that helps me get over situations like this:
    "If you come or go,
    live or die,
    I don't care"



    Jockbod48- Some of the best advice I've received so far. Thanks bro.
    Bernd- Wonderfull quote! Thank you for sharing it with me!
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 16, 2010 5:30 PM GMT
    Ditch the Bitch!

    in your mind, i mean to say.

    high time for you to move on.

    you know this,

    we all know this.
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    May 16, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    my ex started dating a friend of mine and when i found out the now ex friend was pretty mean about it. i decided to cut them both out of my life entirely and focus on me for a bit. sure enough...my ex saw through the ex friend's guise and dumped his ass. things have a way of working out i guess. to this day i will not talk to the ex friend, or even make eye contact when i see him out....maybe this is immature, but i just don't even want to waste brain power thinking about him. so my advice is to just let things run their course...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    rnch saidDitch the Bitch!

    in your mind, i mean to say.

    high time for you to move on.

    you know this,

    we all know this.


    Ditch the Bitch.
    Kick the Snitch.
    Drop the Snot.
    Leave the peave.

    I just felt compelled to do that...lol.
  • Abc123456

    Posts: 336

    May 16, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    Watch this - TED talk, Helen Fischer's, "the brain in love"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY


    then remember something fundamental. Your ex is a douche, you miss the guy you thought he was, not the person he is. Your brain is not your friend when you really like someone.

    Getting burnt sucks.