My dumb cousin is a baby-making machine

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    May 19, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
    So, I just found out that my 27 year old cousin, Matt, is having another kid.

    Matt:
    - 27 yr old college drop-out
    - Got Girl A pregnant in 2005 outside of marriage
    - Got married to Girl A
    - Had another child with Girl A--child died at birth
    - Got divorced with Girl A
    - Got Girl B pregnant in 2008
    - Girl B has another child already with another guy
    - Got married to Girl B--by the grace of Jesus the Catholic Church annulled his first wedding
    - Got Girl B pregnant again

    They will have four children by Christmas. Girl B is on WIC. Matt and his wife live off of food stamps. (Sadly, they are abusing the system).

    I'm pissed--like I got sick to my stomach. His kids are going to have a very hard live.

    But according to my aunt and uncle... they're probably thinking, 'at least he's not gay.'

    My aunt and uncle voted against marriage equality for Maine this past November--they are worried about the sanctity of marriage. I haven't the heart to vocally state that their son is hurting the sanctity of marriage more than I ever could getting married to a man.

    And everyone in my family seems to always blame the girls... 'Oh Matt was caught off guard and didn't have condoms with him. Oh, Matt was coerced into having sex by Girl A. Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. AND this time, Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. (Note, that last sentence was repeated because it's the same argument they used last time!)
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    Feb 12, 2012 12:55 PM GMT
    I have to agree with this.

    "If you can't feed them, don't breed them"

    But yeah: NOM would make a much better argument for its continued existence of it had a message of marital unity for preventing serial divorce. All they can bang on about is preventing LGBT folks from marrying.
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    Feb 12, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidSo, I just found out that my 27 year old cousin, Matt, is having another kid.

    Matt:
    - 27 yr old college drop-out
    - Got Girl A pregnant in 2005 outside of marriage
    - Got married to Girl A
    - Had another child with Girl A--child died at birth
    - Got divorced with Girl A
    - Got Girl B pregnant in 2008
    - Girl B has another child already with another guy
    - Got married to Girl B--by the grace of Jesus the Catholic Church annulled his first wedding
    - Got Girl B pregnant again

    They will have four children by Christmas. Girl B is on WIC. Matt and his wife live off of food stamps. (Sadly, they are abusing the system).

    I'm pissed--like I got sick to my stomach. His kids are going to have a very hard live.

    But according to my aunt and uncle... they're probably thinking, 'at least he's not gay.'

    My aunt and uncle voted against marriage equality for Maine this past November--they are worried about the sanctity of marriage. I haven't the heart to vocally state that their son is hurting the sanctity of marriage more than I ever could getting married to a man.

    And everyone in my family seems to always blame the girls... 'Oh Matt was caught off guard and didn't have condoms with him. Oh, Matt was coerced into having sex by Girl A. Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. AND this time, Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. (Note, that last sentence was repeated because it's the same argument they used last time!)


    Your uncle, aunty and your cousin make me sick. I feel sorry for you because you're related to them and you actually have a brain, lol.
  • a303guy

    Posts: 829

    Feb 12, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    well, trying to put a positive spin on this whole sad domestic disaster....if he goes ahead an knocks 10 out of the oven, statistically speaking, at least one will be manufactured for our team....

    But truly - I'm with the OP, and Alpha's points - his actions, and the support the family and the gov't is handing out - suck.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidSo, I just found out that my 27 year old cousin, Matt, is having another kid.

    Matt:
    - 27 yr old college drop-out
    - Got Girl A pregnant in 2005 outside of marriage
    - Got married to Girl A
    - Had another child with Girl A--child died at birth
    - Got divorced with Girl A
    - Got Girl B pregnant in 2008
    - Girl B has another child already with another guy
    - Got married to Girl B--by the grace of Jesus the Catholic Church annulled his first wedding
    - Got Girl B pregnant again

    They will have four children by Christmas. Girl B is on WIC. Matt and his wife live off of food stamps. (Sadly, they are abusing the system).

    I'm pissed--like I got sick to my stomach. His kids are going to have a very hard live.

    But according to my aunt and uncle... they're probably thinking, 'at least he's not gay.'

    My aunt and uncle voted against marriage equality for Maine this past November--they are worried about the sanctity of marriage. I haven't the heart to vocally state that their son is hurting the sanctity of marriage more than I ever could getting married to a man.

    And everyone in my family seems to always blame the girls... 'Oh Matt was caught off guard and didn't have condoms with him. Oh, Matt was coerced into having sex by Girl A. Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. AND this time, Oh, Girl B told Matt that she was on the pill. (Note, that last sentence was repeated because it's the same argument they used last time!)


    Damn dude. Denial is a sonofabitch isn't it? Your aunt and uncle are idiots if they are worried about the sanctity of marriage. Your cousin has just popped that bubble on more than one occasion and you can't tell me they haven't realized it.

    Nothing is ever stopping a man from wearing a condom but the man himself. Your aunt and uncle are contributing to your cousin's irresponsible actions by not acknowledging that he's a blemish. That makes them bad parents for being able to blatantly deny what he is and what he's done. Apparently the apple doesn't fall from the tree and ignorance is hereditary.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Feb 12, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    i totally agree w/ guy101.... your aunt and uncle have their heads up their asses on this one.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    hebrewman saidi totally agree w/ guy101.... your aunt and uncle have their heads up their asses on this one.


    And apparently they like the smell of shit but will probably say it's roses they smell because that's how far in denial they are about their son.

    FAIL.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    Guy101 said
    hebrewman saidi totally agree w/ guy101.... your aunt and uncle have their heads up their asses on this one.


    And apparently they like the smell of shit but will probably say it's roses they smell because that's how far in denial they are about their son.

    FAIL.


    Couldn't have said any better.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    This does not surprise me on any level. First, I know plenty of gay guys who have unprotected sex, so being critical of "Matt" because he is having unprotected sex with these dumb girls is a little hypocritical.
    That said, the women are at least, if not more, as stupid as "Matt" for allowing such a fool to breed with them with no birth control. Women, in the end, have control over pregnancy. They can take a pill, they can use other forms and they could get an abortion, so having the baby with such a moron who does not support his children shows that they are not the brightest bulbs in this dark closet.
    Old people against gay marriage for whatever reason is OK with me. I give up on arguing with the elderly, their minds are made up, kind of like arguing with the tragically religious, they will believe what they want without need for logic or proof, and no matter what you throw at them they will continue with their faith.
    Plus, sadly, there is no way to say that you would not have a "healthier" marriage than "Matt" except that you would presumably not be procreating is such an irresponsible manner.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Feb 12, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    Breeders....
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    I would have to disagree with you, Smartmoney.

    Apparently these dumb dudes have game/skills and you gotta respect that no matter how much you hate what they've done. I wouldn't blame the ladies in this case because I've seem some Ph.D ladies end up with the dumbest of guys or at least knocked up by them. So it seems to me that these dudes are smooth talkers when it comes to getting laid and probably look damn good too. The cute but stupid ones who blow a vein from thinking to blink but have mad skills when it comes to getting laid. It's fucking scary how natural and easy it is for them when you think about it.

    They're the type that could charm a snake out of it's skin or talk the Devil into giving back a soul with interest.
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    Feb 12, 2012 2:55 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidI would have to disagree with you, Smartmoney.

    Apparently these dumb dudes have game/skills and you gotta respect that no matter how much you hate what they've done. I wouldn't blame the ladies in this case because I've seem some Ph.D ladies end up with the dumbest of guys or at least knocked up by them. So it seems to me that these dudes are smooth talkers when it comes to getting laid and probably look damn good too. The cute but stupid ones who blow a vein from thinking to blink but have mad skills when it comes to getting laid. It's fucking scary how natural and easy it is from them when you think about it.

    They're the type that could charm a snake out of it's skin or talk the Devil into giving back a soul with interest.

    Damn its the word too!! They must be mad in bed and/or have 9 or 10 inchers - IDK!
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Feb 12, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    Humourous, only now, becoming more and more true...straight people don't have any concept of the sanctity of marriage. They've had it so long, they treat it like an old shoe.

    Gays? We hold it to high esteem.

    Hang in there. I have a similar situation. And I'm married to a man.

    Peace,
    Bardy
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    I think I saw your brother featured in the first few minutes of "Idiocracy" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXRjmyJFzrU
  • pecsman_5

    Posts: 35

    Feb 12, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    We all have white trash in our families.
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    Oh the sanctity of 'marriage'......................icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    I sooooo feel you on this one bro. You should work in health care when these same people come through on their state medicAid (and many driving VERY nice cars and sporting advanced cell phones) and EXPECT everything to be given to them on a platter. One of my friends works in the MEdicAid side of Blue Cross here in TN and has told me they recevie calls from these idiots seriously wanting to file a complaint against their doctor becasue they had to wait 45 minutes to see him. Here is a nice summary of where this stupidity leads on the health care side of things. And to the above poster who cited the movie "Idiocracy": that movie is a documentary that has fallen through a worm hole in time form the future. It is not a comedy. I know this because comedies make me laugh and I cried through most of "Idioicracy" becasue it was completely accurate. And yes, dude, your aunt and unlce are idiots and need ot check the divorce rate among hetrosexuals before they start tossing around the sanctity of marriage crap when it comes to gays.

    http://youtu.be/OOzRt1x2FPk
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Feb 12, 2012 3:53 PM GMT
    well... the good news is, you aren't him, and you can move away from them (aunt and uncle included).
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 12, 2012 3:54 PM GMT
    Sounds pathetic and we all have them in our families.......perhaps as he matures, he'll feel the need to be a good example to his children by going to work and being a good provider.. basically being responsible for his family.

    What a concept....
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    Feb 12, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidSounds pathetic and we all have them in our families.......perhaps as he matures, he'll feel the need to be a good example to his children by going to work and being a good provider.. basically being responsible for his family.

    What a concept....


    Can't say anyone in my family is like this guy and, unfortunately, if this dude hasn't figured out himself and his actions at the age of 27 then by the time he does figure it out it will be too late.

    All we can pray for is that his kids don't end up the same as him. The best anyone can shoot for really and seems the most realistic in this case.
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    pecsman_5 saidWe all have white trash in our families.

    I beg your pardon? My family has white refuse, if you please. Case in point:

    My younger sister attended a private girls school. Some of the girls would take their final senior year at an affiliated school in Switzerland, and so my sister went to board there at 17. It was somewhat like the old concept of the finishing school.

    But the school soon notified my parents that my sister was pregnant. It apparently happened during a good-bye with a boyfriend, just before she left the US. I was unaware of all this, other than she was in Switzerland, already being in the Army myself and less in regular touch with my family.

    My parents brought her home and literally confined her in a Catholic convent in upstate New York, so no one would know her condition. The baby was delivered in a hospital up there. Because my sister was technically underage, just 5 weeks shy of her 18th birthday, our parents had legal authority and arranged to have the baby taken away for adoption immediately after the birth.

    My sister begged to keep the baby, but our parents were adamant that their daughter would not be an unwed mother. And for whatever reason she didn't marry the father, maybe she didn't even know for sure who he was (pre-DNA testing). Or more likely our parents refused a wedding with someone not suitable for their daughter.

    I learned of this for the first time nearly 20 years later, from my sister herself. And that our mother had given as one of the reasons the baby had to be given up for adoption was that "your brother" would never approve of her keeping it. ME??? What authority did I have? Why should it have mattered what *I* thought?

    But what really upset me was that my sister therefore mostly blamed ME for losing the baby she wanted to keep, even now, 20 years later, and not our mother. She had harbored this unreasonable hatred against me all these years, that finally spilled out now that our parents were recently dead. It made no difference to her when I explained that I never even knew about her baby, so how could I be at fault? This is one of the reasons we have been estranged ever since.

    So white trash behavior comes in many ways, some tied with a rather elegant bow. And I would advise the OP to not feel any guilt by association.
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:29 PM GMT
    omg Art, that was hilarious!

    "I beg your pardon? My family has white refuse, if you please."



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    Feb 12, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    meninlove said omg Art, that was hilarious!

    "I beg your pardon? My family has white refuse, if you please."

    Thanks, I was hoping someone would be amused by the wording, and judge it suitable to the story. Although the story itself is true, and that part I do not view as hilarious.

    It was a serious shock to me to learn this bit of family history, so long hidden from me by everyone, like I was a little child who couldn't be told the truth. And my sister told me other family secrets on that occasion, like our grandfather having committed suicide before I was born (I'd always been told it was a stroke), and that the whole family, even my sister, knew I was gay from the time of my childhood and often talked about it among themselves.

    I suddenly realized I didn't really know any of my family at all. And it took me a while to reconcile my thoughts about my parents, and to rationalize their behavior. Today I'm at rest with their memory, and often even praise them, though I continue to have no contact with my sister.
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    Feb 12, 2012 4:57 PM GMT
    its every gay guy's duty to save the world from over-population by sucking as much straight guy dick as possible icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 12, 2012 5:09 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidWow, that is some wretched drama. I would be so angry with my mother for having blamed me for what she had done. I can't believe your mother took that lie with her to her grave. And your sister doesn't know how to let go of her anger for you? That's so fucked up.

    I was indeed furious. I always knew my mother was a master at manipulation, but this was unacceptable in every way. Both what she did to my sister and what she did to me.

    As for her grave, she died unexpectedly of a sudden heart attack, her condition not previously diagnosed. I was in the Army at that moment and had seldom seen my parents but for short periods for many years, along with the usual holiday phone calls. So there wasn't a lot of opportunity for her to share this kind of thing with me. But she did with my sister, with whom she often stayed, who became her confidant and "guardian" of the family lore, the one who knows who married whom and when.

    As for my sister, she also told me she hated me when we were children, too, for being the older spoiled son. I got all the attention, she contends, all the best presents, the new car at 17 while she got a used one. (Actually I think it had more to do with her poor driving skills, and perhaps our father's sexist view that females make bad drivers)

    But I never suspected the depth of her resentment for me. If I'm guilty of anything it's not giving her much thought as I was growing up, and mostly staying clear of her. Whereas she remembers me as being mean to her. Interesting how memories & perceptions can be at such opposites.

    It also came out during our last conversations together that she hates gays. That sealed the deal for me, and I closed the door on that part of my life, never speaking with her again. Yeah, lots of drama there, as much the drama itself as the fact that I was ignorant of it all for so long, sorta like the way I didn't realize my own orientation, either. I don't know if our family was so much trashy as dysfunctional, a nicer word for being equally fucked up.