How real are you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:14 PM GMT
    I was chatting with someone from here, and he was surprised to hear that I'm actually terribly shy in person, and tend to stare mutely at my feet and smile until I know people well. Obviously, through the impersonality of the medium, I can shuck this innate reserve, and come across as far more confident than I actually am on the forums and so forth.

    My question is, how accurately does your on-line persona reflect the "real" you?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 31, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    Interesting thread... I am very much in person what I am here or on the phone. I enjoy person to person interaction over a drink or lunch. I have no confidence issues, um at all...

    Except one. In social settings (like a party) I am told I can come across as a little aloof. Some have called me arrogant. I don't know where that comes from. My bf reminds me of that at times...LOLicon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:29 PM GMT
    What you see (be it by phone or email) is what you get.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Jan 31, 2008 4:30 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan,

    I feel ya, pal. I get accused of being an arrogant snob regularly because I am quite shy and noncommittal in large gatherings (read: bars).

    Gay men are so judgemental...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:33 PM GMT
    in emails, for the first few if i don't know the person, i try to stick with social norms of approach. but after a while the more i gauge the person im communicating with the more "myself" i'm gonna be. i don't change my persona for the site, i'm not gona do that cuz that's sorta leading people on. but it is nice to have those extra few seconds to think things through when typing. but i'm not shy, and i don't get embarrassed too easily. and contrary to Chucky's beliefs, i'm not mentally ill.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:38 PM GMT
    I think I'm genuinely me where ever I am; extroverted, silly and like most gay guys, sooooo misunderstood... icon_rolleyes.gif

    P.S.
    Based on some of the other forums, I'm sure I'll be called out if I'm not really genuine.... *shivers* icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:43 PM GMT
    I'm outgoing with people I know and situations I know require communications, but put me sitting next to someone and wanting to start a conversation, I'm Mr. Shy guy suddenly...not sure why. Takes me a long time to build up the courage to go say hello....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:46 PM GMT
    I'm super shy in real life. I do warm up after a while and then I never shut up.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
    I am pretty creative and I live in my head a lot more than the average person, and not only do I not need a lot of people around me to make me feel valued, I kind of only want that about once a week, on Saturday nights. Otherwise I am content alone. That makes people think that I am aloof or unapproachable, but if approached I am very friendly.

    Online I am sure that I come off more outgoing and interested in contact than I actually am. I am as fair and try to see all sides in my every day life, and I am famous for giving good advice and I try to bring that to boards like this.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Jan 31, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
    I'm not as talkative in person until I get to know you. I wouldn't say I'm shy though, I'm not shy but I have to get a good feel for someone before I am completely myself with them.
  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 31, 2008 4:56 PM GMT
    HI guys,
    Totally WYSIWYG here as well.
    In person and on line, I am very social, outgoing, gregarious and easy to talk with.
    I have to interact with new people in my job as a freelanceTV Cameraman all the time and I am the head of our local Gay Volleyball Club, so I am used to talking to individuals and crowds.


    --- Ron
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Jan 31, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    At first contact I tend to be shy for the first 10 Min. I usually unfreeze pretty fast and then I am just as I am online normally. Fun, outgoing, honest...aso
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:05 PM GMT
    I used to be shy when I was a little kid - too bashful to look people in the eye. I made myself get over it - by working at it. I'm pretty much the same guy to people on-line or in person. Friends say I'm really just a regular nice guy / jock.

    Now I am ok with meeting anyone, and I actually get a kick out of people. I probably gained confidence through experiences in college, working, social stuff I belong to and serving on the board of my alumni association - coming into contact with tons of new people. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    I suppose on this site I'm the idealized version of who I really am. In other words, close, but not exactly. You can spot my neuroses more easily in the forums than you can in my profile.

    I think that generally the difference between "online" and "real" parallels the difference between "persona" and "personality" (look it up).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    I am ALWAYS just me!!

    The energy/vibe I give off here is also in persona s well!!

    I HOPE that's a good thing!?!?!?! icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:25 PM GMT
    a1972guy: "The energy/vibe I give off here is also in persona s well!!"

    Redundant. I think you meant "personality".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:29 PM GMT
    Well, actually "shy" is becoming word#1 on the site,
    good, let's not rename RJ to ShyGuy -
    'cause not everyone is shy maybe..

    suppose a forum group "Ooops, i'm shy" will suffice

    To be honest, i do love shyness - 'cause when people around you keep silence you can concentrate much more easily
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:34 PM GMT
    And yes, online - it's very real me
    Sometimes, more than .. 'cause online i don't need clothes, all 'how do i look' things, atmosphere tune up etc
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:42 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX saida1972guy: "The energy/vibe I give off here is also in persona s well!!"

    Redundant. I think you meant "personality".



    ALL the same, however YES! More of what I meant to state! Shanks again Rugger!! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 5:50 PM GMT
    Peel me away like an onion and you will see many shades of the real me.

    inconsitent, outgoing, humourous, reserved, loud, public, private, confident and doubting.

    Always searching for a final resting spot and clarity in life. I think that's what makes me real.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 6:05 PM GMT
    My profile is 100% fake. Nothing real besides the fake "real" pictures of someone else. Hell, I didn't even write the profile.

    Just kidding....

    100% real here.

  • DanBasil

    Posts: 173

    Jan 31, 2008 6:10 PM GMT
    I tend to be a bit more stand-offish online, I think it's a screening developed from too many people looking for quick hook-ups, and me constantly reminding them I'm online for friendships, not tricks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 6:13 PM GMT
    Oh come on guys. Isn't there ANYONE who can admit that their profile is a slightly idealized version of their real self? I mean yeah, I feel I'm a great guy. We all should feel that way about ourselves. But I think, especially on a site like this, that a lot of guys let their profile help lead them to be better guys than they are today.

    Please don't equate this with lying, but more selective disclosure. For starters, I see a lot of blanks in the "HIV" field, but that's not really the best example of what I mean.

    Maybe I should just post a picture of myself picking my nose and declare myself real. ;-)
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Jan 31, 2008 6:30 PM GMT
    I guess I'm real. I mean what would I stand to gain from being fake?
  • fitnfunmich

    Posts: 181

    Jan 31, 2008 6:34 PM GMT
    I'd like to believe that I am consistent at least, and an open book at best. But I think that XRugger is really onto something with his comments.

    In a 2-D medium such as an online forum, how "real" can anyone truly be?? So many people seem to have an online persona which is at odds with their true personality. And some just happen to come across the wrong way given the limitations of written words in absence of vocal quality or facial expression.

    This is precisely why it's best to resist the temptation to take stuff here too seriously. (Made that mistake once or twice myself. Guess I'm a real human afterall.) icon_eek.gif