The Gay Manual

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    May 22, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
    For shits and giggles, if you were making a manual for guys that come out of the closet, what would you put in there?

  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 22, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    Only one rule: Be Honest. Be honest with yourself and the ones you care about, be honest about who you are, what you are and who you love.
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    May 22, 2010 8:51 PM GMT
    - Three words, oh naive one: Duh-ra-ma!
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    May 22, 2010 9:18 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said - Three words, oh naive one: Duh-ra-ma!


    Or as a guy I used to date would say "Drrrama com tres ar-hes" (immagine a thick carioca/rio accent)
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    May 22, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidFor shits and giggles, if you were making a manual for guys that come out of the closet, what would you put in there?

    A hammer and a hole punch to drive out the nail from the hinges so the door can be permanently removed.
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    May 22, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    Twinks smell fear...they thrive on it. So if you're in an awkward situation, and you have an angry twink in your presence, just start talking about the new Abercrombie fall line...you'll settle him down. icon_razz.gif
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    May 22, 2010 11:06 PM GMT
    - Be physically perfect
    ..oh you are ? Not enough.
    - Be highly cultured, witty and sharp as a tack
    ..got that too?
    haha well guess what STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH SORRY =DDD
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    May 22, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said- Be physically perfect
    ..oh you are ? Not enough.
    - Be highly cultured, witty and sharp as a tack
    ..got that too?
    haha well guess what STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH SORRY =DDD
    So fucking true!!! icon_lol.gif
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    May 22, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    Know that your dick will never be big enough, ass won't ever be tight enough...and you'll always somehow use teeth when giving head.
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    May 22, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    Someone wrote the book years ago.

    http://www.amazon.com/Unofficial-Gay-Manual-Kevin-DiLallo/dp/0385474458
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    May 23, 2010 1:04 AM GMT


    Page three, The Must Haves

    section 6

    "You will need one of these when out at mixed venues to facilitate finding men."

    B0000C6DWL.jpg

    (Actually no kidding because I saw a guy use one of these at a gay bar one night and he broke more ice with it than a melting polar cap)

    -Doug
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    May 23, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    Page three, The Must Haves

    section 6

    "You will need one of these when out at mixed venues to facilitate finding men."

    B0000C6DWL.jpg

    (Actually no kidding because I saw a guy use one of these at a gay bar one night and he broke more ice with it than a melting polar cap)

    -Doug


    You are soooo funny for being so young icon_cool.gif

    Hey new thought can I borrow hat tonight icon_eek.gif
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    May 23, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Hills are also shoes.....dont be afraid to use them....they make you look taller!
    icon_lol.gif

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    May 23, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    Page three, The Must Haves

    section 6

    "You will need one of these when out at mixed venues to facilitate finding men."

    B0000C6DWL.jpg

    (Actually no kidding because I saw a guy use one of these at a gay bar one night and he broke more ice with it than a melting polar cap)

    -Doug


    KDT1708.jpg

    To pry your prey out of those clubs and bars.
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    May 23, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    M0rp43u5 said
    meninlove said

    Page three, The Must Haves

    section 6

    "You will need one of these when out at mixed venues to facilitate finding men."

    B0000C6DWL.jpg

    (Actually no kidding because I saw a guy use one of these at a gay bar one night and he broke more ice with it than a melting polar cap)

    -Doug


    KDT1708.jpg

    To pry your prey out of those clubs and bars.



    ROFL!!

    or maybe one of these to get him away from his friends so's you can
    talk....

    FlatPryBar_Full.jpg
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    May 23, 2010 1:38 AM GMT
    Balljunkie saidFor shits and giggles, if you were making a manual for guys that come out of the closet, what would you put in there

    I'll list some of the warnings caveats. There is both good & bad, but here are some things in the "watch out for" column:

    - Never trust a Republican, and never vote for one
    - Never trust a drag queen, and don't date one
    - Don't expect gay men to show up for appointments
    - If a gay man does show up for an appointment, he will be late
    - Never believe anything a gay man says about himself
    - Gay tears flow easily and have no value
    - All gay men are selfish & self-centered; there is no such thing as an altruistic gay man
    - If a gay man invites you to a restaurant, assume you'll be paying for both of you
    - Gay men always exaggerate, but especially about their dick size
    - Never co-mingle your funds. If he doesn't rob you, the government and his relatives will if he dies before you (in most of the US)
    - Never let him drive. Gay men are the worst drivers on Earth. Being newly out, you will drive much better than him
    - Gay men can't take care of themselves; be prepared to assume that job, or else continue to hire someone, like he's been doing
    - Always sleep with your wallet under your side of the mattress, and sleep light
    - Practice saying "Yeah, that looks good on you" in a convincing manner
    - Ask your doctor about starting anti-depressants, so you won't be the only gay in your circle not taking them
    - Throw out all your sensible clothes, and ask a new gay friend to help you buy you a wardrobe of nothing but trendy clothes with a shelf life of 6 months
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    May 23, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    M0rp43u5 said
    meninlove said

    Page three, The Must Haves

    section 6

    "You will need one of these when out at mixed venues to facilitate finding men."

    B0000C6DWL.jpg

    (Actually no kidding because I saw a guy use one of these at a gay bar one night and he broke more ice with it than a melting polar cap)

    -Doug


    KDT1708.jpg

    To pry your prey out of those clubs and bars.



    ROFL!!

    or maybe one of these to get him away from his friends so's you can
    talk....

    FlatPryBar_Full.jpg


    And when you both make strong connections, take him to your place and use your final tool:

    NON-MOUNTED%20BREAKERS.jpg
    the STUD BREAKER

    icon_twisted.gif
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    May 23, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    OK, you win.

    icon_lol.gif ..you're too cool!

    -us
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    May 23, 2010 1:56 AM GMT
    It helps when you work in a hardware store. icon_lol.gif

    You two did great too. Good contributions! icon_biggrin.gif