Black on white

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    The subject keeps coming up on here about inter-racial dating and whites not finding blacks attractive. I myself have never looked at color I just love "men".

    My partner and I (he is black) have been together 3 1/2 years and even if I go to the store or the club where ever, black guys are on me like...well...white on rice, haha. Seriously, a black will pick me up twice as fast as a white guy.

    why do you think it is that some black guys find white guys more attractive and what is is that makes them more attractive to them?

    I had a black friend tell me one time that it might be because of the the way the stereotypical black male is supposedly being so promiscuous and "thugish"

    I dont know if I agree with that, but I have noticed that in most of relationships with black men they have acted more stereo typically "white" than I do. Usually I am considered the black acting one in the relationship, haha. Go figure.
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    Jan 31, 2008 8:05 PM GMT
    I deal with this all the time. I wasn't raised in this country, so I'm not like the "stereotypical" black person. I've had many white friends say they're blacker than me. I usually just shrug and agree, and say I am who I am. I have people call me "Carlton" from the Fresh Prince (and I'm actually related to someone on that show but I won't say who). Black guys are probably attracted to you because you're on the secret Black Gay Mafia list of White Guys That Like Black Guys (WGTLBG), and you may have a ghetto butt. Ooops. Not a secret anymore, I guess.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Jan 31, 2008 10:19 PM GMT
    To me it also doesn`t make a big difference between black and white guys. Both can be good and bad in bed. The way of speaking is different in Englisch, but thats about it.
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    Feb 01, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    I dont know what it is but I tend to be more attractive to white guys. That is not to say im not attracted to other races because I am. Right now im with a white man and im happy and that is all that matters.
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    Feb 02, 2008 6:05 AM GMT
    I attract black guys (and women) like white on rice as well. I've never dated a black guy before though. It's not that I dislike them, I just don't find them attractive. I'm one of those weird Asian/Pacific Islander guys that's attracted to other Asians. icon_eek.gif

    I also love Latinos.
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    Feb 02, 2008 8:25 AM GMT
    Diary of a Dairy Queen:

    Filipinos born and raised in the Philippines have a special attraction for Caucasian features, much more so than other Asian countries. The growing population of half-filipinos/half-caucasians is a proof to this. LOL In fact, in 3 more months, I'll be uncle to a half-filipina/half-belgian niece. icon_razz.gif

    Bear with me for a short history lesson, LOL. (Take note that all words used are used in historical context, please do not be offended icon_razz.gif)

    The original settlers of the Philippines were of Melanesian stock with dominant negroid features - that is: dark skin, curly hair, pronounced lips, and relatively rounded features. They share racial features with NZ and Australian aborigines and to a certain extent Polynesians. The Spanish used the term 'Negritos' for them because of their short stature and dark skin (literally "little black person").

    Malays (probably originally a racial combination of mongoloid and Caucasoid stock - from the Chinese and South Asians), the current dominant race of Southeast Asia arrived in the Philippines as refugees from an oppressive sultanate in Sabah. They displaced the original and more primitive Negrito tribes. They brought with them their own standards of beauty. That is - fair skin. Fair skin for Malays especially in women meant that she came from a family rich enough to keep her from working under the sun. The fact that Negritos were dark-skinned only reinforced the notion among Malays that dark skin = poor/unattractive and fair skin = wealthy/desirable.

    Then came another complication in the form of Magellan. The Spaniards colonized the Philippines and held it for 300 years. And though there were relatively few colonists because of the distance from Spain (compare Latin America for example in which the dominant racial characteristic today is Caucasian), they still succeeded in almost completely obliterating the original Malay culture of the Philippines. The Philippines became almost wholly Hispanic in speech, culture, and of course, standards of beauty. Even until now, we have very little in common with our Asian neighbors. In fact, it is more accurate to describe the Philippines as a Latin American country, LOL, because we certainly have more in common with Mexicans than we do with Malaysians. You have to give it to Colonial Spain - they were expert brainwashers. LOL

    Filipino Malays began viewing the white skin, narrow features, and greater stature of the Caucasian Hispanics as desirable because it was tied together with power and wealth.

    Then the Americans came and liberated the country from the Spanish, putting us under US commonwealth rule until shortly after World War 2. Another 50 years of being exposed under a 'superior' Caucasian culture. This time with the added impetus of the image of Americans as 'heroic liberators' from both the Spanish and the Japanese. Caucasian features in addition to being associated with wealth and power, also became the prototypical mold of the romantic hero.

    Finally, the killing blow is Western media. We imported very little in the way of entertainment from Asian countries in the latter half century. Heck, we only just started importing Korean and Japanese soaps a few years back. Back then, it would've never clicked much with the Filipino audience. We basically grew up to actors and actresses who were mestizos (half-Spanish, half-Filipinos), and most of our previous soaps were dubbed and imported from Mexico.

    Everywhere the Caucasian stereotype was idealized. Personally, this has caused me much grief. You see, I come from mixed heritage too. Both grandparents from my mothers' side were mestizos. My grandfather even had blue eyes (one of my uncles has grey). On my dad's side, his mother was half-Indian. The result of which is that all my relatives are really very beautiful by the standards of our race. My younger brother has classic moreno mestizo (light brown skin mixed with Hispanic features) looks. He looks like an arab actually, LOL. Ditto with my sisters, uncles, aunts, etc. Heck, my nephew has light brown hair, and both his parents are Filipinos!

    And poor moi got stuck with mostly Malay features with the dark skin of my Indian heritage. I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling in a family of swans. Hence my deep self-esteem issues. (I'm not saying Asian features are ugly, just that it's not desirable in our culture - notice the irony there?)

    Asides from that, I also have the Filipino preoccupation with Caucasian features. My ideals for beauty has always been Caucasian (which is why I'm doomed to loneliness for the time being, LOL). That doesn't mean I'm racist. Hell, I wish I could be attracted to Asians for example, then life would be so much easier, as I could find an S.O. right here. But it's not. I can still appreciate African and Asian beauty, but it's never the same as it is with Caucasians. I have the added burden of not finding my own features attractive because after all, I'm Asian.

    So yeah, I'm a Dairy Queen but I'm not racist. How could it be racism when, in my example, I am not attracted to my own race! LOL I would have been racist to myself. icon_razz.gif

    I blame it all on culture. Heh.

    In an ideal world, this would never happen. But it's not. Racial distribution is not spread evenly. People grow up with different criteria for finding people attractive. But more and more, there are people who look past the race of a potential mate. We're just unfortunate to be born in what I think is the early stages of globalization and racial homogenization. There are more and more people of mixed heritage these days. I find this encouraging. But there still isn't enough to overcome traditional standards of beauty, but at least racism in its ugliest form is fast disappearing. Especially with the internet paving the way and breaking down prejudices.

    Maybe someday we can just say we're human, and not have to state whether we're Asian, black, white, Latino, etc. But that's probably still a long way off. Heh.

    So I think it's safe to say that it's not racism, except for very rare cases (in which they're just assholes anyway and not worth your time), but simply preference as had been said before. Some guys just like familiar/similar guys, some guys (like me) like the exotic/opposite, and the luckier ones get to pick from all sides LOL.

    That's the perspective from my side, I guess.

    That said, there WILL be exceptions in my case. There always is.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    As a Filipino that's not from the Philippines, white is not the standard of beauty. We're both Filipino, but we have two very different views. Growing up in Hawaii I see things differently. A lot of people there are mixed. We watch American television, and we read American magazines, but we don't see white as the standard of which beauty is based. I think a huge part of it is that racism was (and still is, just not to the same degree) prevalent in Hawaii. White and Black people were hated for a very long time. People are finally starting to get over themselves, and just letting people be. Another problem that we face in Hawaii are the people who migrate to Hawaii, and they hold on to their beliefs. A lot of them are against interracial relationships, and won't date whites, blacks, latinos and even other asians.

    Being mixed, I grew up with an identity crisis/complex. I've always wondered where I fit in this world. I've had Filipino friends, but I stuck out because I'm not from the Philippines, I don't speak Tagalog/Visayan/Ilocano, and I'm not"pure-blooded." I've had white friends, but I still stuck out. One day I just told myself that I have to be true to myself. I'm sure there are places on this planet where I won't stick out. Sure enough, there are. I could go anywhere in Asia, and fit right in. I've been to Japan, South Korea and China. When in Japan they thought that I was Japanese, until I spoke. Then they knew that I was American . When in Korea, they thought that I was Korean. When I told them I wasn't they just assumed that I was Japanese. Same thing in China. They thought I was Chinese, when I said I wasn't, they assumed I was Japanese. Of course I totally fit in back home in Hawaii.

    Funny story. When I first joined the military, I had to check off my race. I asked if I could choose other and write in biracial. I was told no, and that I had to choose one race. I said that I didn't want to choose one over the other. So they told me to choose what I felt like that day(?). To which I responded, "Today I feel Asian, but what I feel white tomorrow?" I got no response so I choose other and wrote in biracial. According to my military records, my ethnicity is Filipino and my race is White. I'm okay with that compromise.

    Anyways, back to the topic on hand. Every man has to decide which road in life he wants to take. Do you choose to break free from the "cultural standard of beauty" ,and love yourself for who you are, or do you go along with everyone else and continue to loathe yourself for something that you had no choice in? It could save you a lifetime of pain, my friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    I like black guys because they are normally much more chill,laid-back and funny and they often have nicer bodies
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    Feb 18, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    redbull saidThe subject keeps coming up on here about inter-racial dating and whites not finding blacks attractive. I myself have never looked at color I just love "men".

    Oh so you're sexist now huh? Why not find women attractive? Why limit love to the shape of the genitalia? I mean if some people don't find big noses, or dark skin, or red hair attractive, what makes you feel like you think it's okay to completely shut out women?

    You fags disgust me. "Oh my dick is just sexist not me" that what you say?
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1518

    Jul 20, 2015 11:10 PM GMT
    Since everyone is doing these threads...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2015 2:04 AM GMT
    1AlanZSky saidSince everyone is doing these threads...

    Are you joking stupid? You are the one bumping all these race threads from 2008 and before. Get a life.
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1536

    Aug 25, 2016 2:39 AM GMT
    Once you go black, you - find it exasperatingly difficult to reorient yourself to your previous, more socially acceptable frame of mind. tumblr_static_9pcrbvfgj6skcg4g8koo4gwcs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2016 3:40 AM GMT
    When I begin dating a minority and they find out my family is white they ask, "What is it like to have a white family?"...

    Media perpetuates the stereotype that white families are happier, healthier, and more successful... So it's natural for minorities to assume dating a white person will elevate their status... Even most super heroes are white, and I don't have a problem with that--this is America and that is the majority.

    I do have a white family and God knows I love them, BUT I can guarantee you white people don't have "magical white powers" haha... Just like any other race there's the dumb, the in between, and the intelligent... There's the trash, the middle class, and the rich. The ghetto, the Jefferson's, and the Obama's...

    You get the idea.

    It's funny though, even simple things like soap become a topic... My friends will be like you use Dove--that's a white persons soap LMAO. I didn't know a "white person's" soap existed lol.

    That's the other thing--they're curious to see what brands of things my family will use. They assume white people live this "magically enchanted" life lol. It seemed silly at first, but after a few people did it I stopped and thought about it... Media does play a role in how we perceive people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2016 3:43 AM GMT
    JackNNJ saidOnce you go black, you - find it exasperatingly difficult to reorient yourself to your previous, more socially acceptable frame of mind. tumblr_static_9pcrbvfgj6skcg4g8koo4gwcs.

    I find that picture VERY offensive and grotesque.