I need help guys; how to approach a guy when your shy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2010 7:55 AM GMT
    this morning, i saw this awesoem guy on the train to work. he had such an amazing body and was very very handsome. i really wanted to approach him, but as is the case, i'm always to shy and yes i overthink. he is a bodybuilder actually and dont want to get seven bells knock out of me. imagine turning up at the office with a shiner.

    i really need advice on how to go about it please. but dont paste bullshit, i am serious about this. you can also share some of your experiences.

    pls. excuse the typo's. icon_rolleyes.gif

    thanks,
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    May 24, 2010 3:35 PM GMT
    I don't think you approach them unless you want to make terribly embarrassing or dangerous situation for yourself.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 24, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    Start with small talk, then build up the talk to casual personal talk to get a read on whether he's interested.
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    May 24, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    what's the worst that could happen? you discover that he doesn't feel the same and you get a little embarrassed? dude, really.... it's not the end of the world.

    and besides, the answer is always "no" if you DON'T ask!
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    May 24, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    "morning" would have worked, then smile. Then play it from there....

    God why do people make easy things hard? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • dionysus

    Posts: 420

    May 24, 2010 4:02 PM GMT
    find out where he works out, and attempt to get workout advice from him. do something strange in the gym that no one else really does and let him ask you about it. example: clock-arrange lunges (lunge to 12, lunge to 10:30, side lunge to 9, back lunge to 7:30, back lunge to 6 and down other side as well) from there have something to talk about.

    if he's a bodybuilder, there;s a 97% chance he's gonna wanna talk about himself and his muscles, so these are good topics of conversation to break the ice.
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    May 24, 2010 4:06 PM GMT
    "Damn you're hot! Where do you work out? Shit!" icon_wink.gif

    Actually, small talk is best. Do you think this guy is gay?
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    May 24, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    I was very shy when I first come out. I often would just stand in the corner of a bar making eye contact with guys but wouldn't approach anyone. Eventually I got sick of all the missed opportunities and I just started forcing myself to approach guys. I would make it a goal to approach at least one guy every time I went out. It didn't always go as I hoped but at least I knew I tried - what else can one do.
    You can either remain passive and hope people you are interested in approach you, or you can take an active role and put yourself "out there". Also get rid or any fear of rejection as that will just prevent any action on your part. When ever I would get worried about "being rejected" I would tell myself at least I tried and two remind myself - regardless of how hot the guy is - he is just human and takes stinky dumps like anyone else.
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    May 25, 2010 6:45 AM GMT
    caspervann saidfind out where he works out, and attempt to get workout advice from him. do something strange in the gym that no one else really does and let him ask you about it. example: clock-arrange lunges (lunge to 12, lunge to 10:30, side lunge to 9, back lunge to 7:30, back lunge to 6 and down other side as well) from there have something to talk about.

    if he's a bodybuilder, there;s a 97% chance he's gonna wanna talk about himself and his muscles, so these are good topics of conversation to break the ice.


    come to think of it he was pretty vain.
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 25, 2010 12:17 PM GMT
    I agree with Lostboy...Simple is best.
    Nod, smile and say "Hi."

    His reaction to that will tell you how to proceed.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    May 25, 2010 12:23 PM GMT



    Start the Conversation with something about Sports...chance is that he could be a Jock icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2010 1:24 PM GMT
    Just be upfront, why beat around the bush?
    Image hosting by LifeOUT.com
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    May 26, 2010 2:35 AM GMT
    ftnip saidI was very shy when I first come out. I often would just stand in the corner of a bar making eye contact with guys but wouldn't approach anyone. Eventually I got sick of all the missed opportunities and I just started forcing myself to approach guys. I would make it a goal to approach at least one guy every time I went out. It didn't always go as I hoped but at least I knew I tried - what else can one do.
    You can either remain passive and hope people you are interested in approach you, or you can take an active role and put yourself "out there". Also get rid or any fear of rejection as that will just prevent any action on your part. When ever I would get worried about "being rejected" I would tell myself at least I tried and two remind myself - regardless of how hot the guy is - he is just human and takes stinky dumps like anyone else.


    This is great practical advice, use it. You'll become a expert and eventually forget that you ever lack these skills.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 7:28 AM GMT
    Thanks guys, for all your wonderful comments and input and funny pics too. But keep them coming!! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    May 26, 2010 7:42 AM GMT
    do you see him often? If so, maybe say something like, "I guess we must be on the same schedule, huh?" or something like that. Should break the ice.
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    May 26, 2010 7:44 AM GMT
    boschboy saidthis morning, i saw this awesoem guy on the train to work. he had such an amazing body and was very very handsome. i really wanted to approach him, but as is the case, i'm always to shy and yes i overthink. he is a bodybuilder actually and dont want to get seven bells knock out of me. imagine turning up at the office with a shiner.

    i really need advice on how to go about it please. but dont paste bullshit, i am serious about this. you can also share some of your experiences.

    pls. excuse the typo's. icon_rolleyes.gif

    thanks,


    There's a saying: Never let them see you sweat.

    If you want to hang out with muscleheads, body piercers, cutters, or fat asses, you need to find some commonality. That's called being friends, associates, in a club, etc. If you're tiny, and into opera, likely, but, certainly not impossible, that you won't find a connection. This is mostly a common sense thing. E.g., healthy folks generally don't hang out with fat ass smokers...there's just not a connection there.

    The best advice: go get in shape. See what time brings. If he's interested, he'll let you know. Nothing is buzz kill like low esteem and timidity, except maybe worship, which is only something that needy folks would seek, and that most well adjusted folks don't.

    I always have to shake my head when some smoker, fat ass, super fem, or whatever thinks I might have an interest. The absolute worst of course are the folks who say, "Top or bottom." or "what up?" If that's the best someone can do, there's clearly not a connection.

    At any rate, if you want to go out with the guy ask him. It's really that simple. It doesn't have to be a confession. Unless you establish some commonality and mutual attraction, however, your action is destined for failure.

    Script:
    You: "So and so band is at so and so place. Wanna' go?"

    You won't get assaulted for that. Just ask. Save the drama for the theater.

    P.S.
    It's "you're" as in "you are." "Your" is the possessive of "you."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 3:36 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    There's a saying: Never let them see you sweat.

    If you want to hang out with muscleheads, body piercers, cutters, or fat asses, you need to find some commonality. That's called being friends, associates, in a club, etc. If you're tiny, and into opera, likely, but, certainly not impossible, that you won't find a connection. This is mostly a common sense thing. E.g., healthy folks generally don't hang out with fat ass smokers...there's just not a connection there.

    The best advice: go get in shape. See what time brings. If he's interested, he'll let you know. Nothing is buzz kill like low esteem and timidity, except maybe worship, which is only something that needy folks would seek, and that most well adjusted folks don't.

    I always have to shake my head when some smoker, fat ass, super fem, or whatever thinks I might have an interest. The absolute worst of course are the folks who say, "Top or bottom." or "what up?" If that's the best someone can do, there's clearly not a connection.

    At any rate, if you want to go out with the guy ask him. It's really that simple. It doesn't have to be a confession. Unless you establish some commonality and mutual attraction, however, your action is destined for failure.

    Script:
    You: "So and so band is at so and so place. Wanna' go?"

    You won't get assaulted for that. Just ask. Save the drama for the theater.

    P.S.
    It's "you're" as in "you are." "Your" is the possessive of "you."


    See that Boschboy, one never knows the hidden wonders that might exist in people until you speak with them. Would you ever have thought that someone like ChuckyStud could be a visual musclehead, but well spoken, and a stickler for spelling/grammar?!

    Go out and practice! You'll learn to love it in itself.
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    May 26, 2010 4:19 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    chuckystud said
    See that Boschboy, one never knows the hidden wonders that might exist in people until you speak with them. Would you ever have thought that someone like ChuckyStud could be a visual musclehead, but well spoken, and a stickler for spelling/grammar?!

    Go out and practice! You'll learn to love it in itself.


    Clearly you haven't followed many of Chucky's posts... LOL!! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 5:27 PM GMT
    res_ident said
    BuddyinNYC said
    chuckystud said
    See that Boschboy, one never knows the hidden wonders that might exist in people until you speak with them. Would you ever have thought that someone like ChuckyStud could be a visual musclehead, but well spoken, and a stickler for spelling/grammar?!

    Go out and practice! You'll learn to love it in itself.


    Clearly you haven't followed many of Chucky's posts... LOL!! icon_wink.gif


    Sure I have and still do. I look forward to read what he writes even though I don't agree (even cringe) with some of his outlooks.

    We might not like his attitude much of the time, but he is knowledgeable, intelligent and often willing to help a stranger. A bee might sting but it pollinates flowers and makes honey. I still don't want bees in my house though!