Relationship advice - jealousy and worries

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2010 6:44 PM GMT
    Hi all

    this isn't first post so it's great to have finally joined these forums. I have a bit of problem and looking for some relationship advice

    I've been in a relationship with a guy for quite a while now. He's the first guy I've properly had a relationship with and i absolutley love him and despite only being with him a short amount of time, couldn't imagine my life without him be beacause we get on so well.

    But the problem is I'm finding myself getting far too easily jealous about things, some silly and some possibly more serious. For example he keeps in touh with a few of his ex's which is fine, I understand they are still friends but it doesn't always make me feel at ease. Iknow one guy sent him a photo of himself recently, it was a professional photo but he wasn't wearing many clothes.

    Also my bf is a very popular guy and gets a lot of attention which is great in some aspects. But I also know he has been with quite a few guys, two or three times as many as me and has done far more sexually than I have. And whilst I accept that's his past and I still find it hard not to think about. I don't know whether I'm jealous I haven't had the sex life he has had, or whether I disapprove of it, or just insecure that I'm just another number.

    Sometimes it can really get me down. I know he loves me and I love him but I fear if I keep feeling like this it wil eventually damage the relationship because I'll resent him for silly reason beyond my control.

    I'm basicaly looking for advice of how I can get over feeling like this? Or whether anyone else has felt like this too and how they coped?

    Thank you in advance
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    May 26, 2010 6:41 PM GMT
    Mighty Tim you need to be more...mighty. BTW -- Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

    The more secure/confident you are, the less jealous you will be. Nothing is hotter than confidence in a man, focus on developing the confidence that you are a hot bitch and you are worth this guy. Shrug off any jealous feelings and replace them with more constructive things, like...working out and being a good person.
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    May 26, 2010 7:56 PM GMT
    drewrx saidMighty Tim you need to be more...mighty. BTW -- Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

    The more secure/confident you are, the less jealous you will be. Nothing is hotter than confidence in a man, focus on developing the confidence that you are a hot bitch and you are worth this guy. Shrug off any jealous feelings and replace them with more constructive things, like...working out and being a good person.

    ^This really the best advise^
    Being on the other end, I can say it sucks to be your bf when you act like this.
    This was a real problem in the beginning of our relationship, leading to a few fights that almost ended in a break up.
    I educated myself on what it was that made him jealous; most of which I had no Idea I was even doing, and toned it down a notch.
    If the green monster does show its’ self I make sure I look him dead in the eye and tell him, “I choose you, I have always chosen you.”
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    May 27, 2010 4:21 AM GMT

    dustin_K_tx said, "“I choose you, I have always chosen you.”

    Sweet. I think it's always good to nurture your partner's confidence in you.

    -Doug

    PS I have a stone plaque on the mantle that reads, "In thee, my choice, I do rejoice."