HOT TOPIC Forum discussions: AN observation

  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    May 27, 2007 5:42 PM GMT
    From the outset, my personality type is the "peacemaker"....

    I have a few friends who have profiles on here and we often read and contribute to the various forum discussions - some are fun and perhaps trivial, while others are serious and certainly non-trivial. There are often the regulars on here who have a lot to say and then there are the one-timers who feel obligated to voice their opinions and/or concerns.

    Forum discussion is GREAT - we're fortunate we are able to have this great medium to voice our ideas, beliefs, frustrations, you name it.....

    However, what my friend's and I have noticed over and over again is the way in which certain individuals get their "tits in a knot" and lash out at others without any regard for that person when all that person was doing was express their idea/thoughts/beliefs. Yes, certain individuals have been banned from the site thanks to their hateful, discriminatory inflammatory remarks - and good riddance!

    No, what I am talking about here are certain guys who bash and belittle other people's beliefs/ideas etc instead of promoting and expounding on their own beliefs. This is done over and over in various hot topic forum discussions on this site. And most often when the original poster was merely expressing his belief/idea/concern without any condescension of other's beliefs.

    I am NOT advocating that we all "get along and agree with each other" - that would be totally boring.

    However, it boils down to not "what" you say but often "how" you say it. Instead of belittling or bad mouthing someone's belief/idea/whatever, in a often rude condescending manner, it probably would be more adult and more respectful of others to say "actually I don't agree with what you had to say, but here is what I believe in" or "here is what I have found has worked for me"...guys on here whom, I thought were really hot, great profiles etc have totally put me off in the way they participate in these forums, and likewise with guys whom I had not given a second glance, have become my heroes.

    It's OK to DISAGREE. My father taught me to ALWAYS put my feet in someone else's shoes and try and see things from their point of view. He also taught me to have an open mind and always ask myself whether or not this person could have ideas/beliefs/whatever that could challenge or even change my own beliefs to make me a better person. I will only grow as a person if I am constantly challenging my own beliefs and ideas.

    If I don't agree with the other person's beliefs or ideas it's OK and I move on. If they attack mine, then instead of lowering myself to their level and attacking theirs, I try and extol the virtues of mine. If that doesn't work, I move on...sometimes you just can't make that horse drink....and by goodness, some of you end up trying to drown that poor damn horse....If you know are you right about something why is it so important that you have to go to the lengths that some of you do in these discussions to prove it?

    All I am saying is that it would probably be far more beneficial to us all if you extolled the virtues of your beliefs rather than belittling those of others in often very derogatory ways.

    AND install GOOGLE's spell checker (pretty please).

    PEACE

    daWeatherMan
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    May 27, 2007 5:59 PM GMT
    Dr. Storm,

    I agree with you 100%. I am sure at times that I can get a bit touchy about something. I try to not respond right away to a forum that I am pissed off about, I walk away and think about it first. If it is not going to change my life in any way or form, I try to leave it as is.

    Thanks for the great observation and imput!

    Rick
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    May 27, 2007 10:08 PM GMT
    "Blessed are the peacemakers." Thanks for posting this. Guys should not get flamed for an opinion or even worse a question.
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    May 27, 2007 10:21 PM GMT
    yes ,yes yes , it was about time , someone , said it,,,thank you
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    May 27, 2007 11:10 PM GMT
    Tq. Just want to add that I really enjoy this forum . I find the guy here smart, intelligent and of course sexy. I really look foward for new topic to be posted so probably I can contribute. There a sense of comradeship between all of us eventhough we are thousands of mile apart. Who know one day we can all get together in one place , just to get to know each other better (I really love to meet chuckystud in person). Of course there a different opinion and objection , after all we all have our own set of believe and raise in different environment. That make this site more interesting .However despite it all we do have at least ONE thing in common .Thank you for the observation.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    May 27, 2007 11:40 PM GMT
    /bump
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    May 27, 2007 11:51 PM GMT
    Hmmm, I wonder who you could be talking about?!
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    May 28, 2007 5:12 PM GMT
    Dr. Storm very well said.
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    May 29, 2007 1:38 AM GMT
    why my posts are getting deleted? :(
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2007 4:32 AM GMT
    most of the people on this site are very open minded and the moderators are also doing a great job.
    some fellas might take things the wrong way when others can't word things the way they would like to. i think some people react harshly to opinions that are opposite to their own and lash out. when we read something, the way we read it can effect how we perceive opinions 'cos it is a computer we're looking at so we can't full gauge emotions in the text.

    what helps for me before i post a comment is, is to re-read the topic as i type my point of view to see if i'm even responding to the topic at hand (tend to go off on a tangent!) and to include my opinion as well as a point of view. it's an on going discussion, not everyone will agree and especially if you don't agree/don't understand the posts, maybe ask the "poster" (is that right?) to elaborate on their post. the posts shouldn't be taken to heart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2007 11:54 PM GMT
    How can we help unorganized writers get their thoughts together in a single cogent post!?

    Is there an OCD monitor? Or at least a program preventing the same poster from re-posting consecutively until at least a few other folks can offer their response in turn?!

    How many times must a reader scroll through a third or fourth and sometimes FIFTH (for real!) consecutive entry posted by the same person droning on and on within the same Forum with no restraint or apparent respect for other readers time and points of view?!

    It is anti-social behavior regardless of any writer's supposed good intention. It is the equivalent of "flaming."

    No offense to anyone but triple, quadruple, quintuple posts-in-a-row ought not be allowed.

    Thanks. PM8
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2007 2:19 AM GMT
    "
    And to the rest of you, thank your parents or whoever for teaching you manners. We're all grateful for that."


    I'm not so sure it's mannerly to advocate politeness and at the same time attack someone personally.
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    May 30, 2007 2:31 AM GMT
    How about no plagiarism, copy and paste an entire paragraph from online articles and pass it off as your own words to support your statements....?
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    May 30, 2007 2:54 AM GMT
    Actually, my comment wasn't addressed to you, NJ. I was quoting you to make a point: It is obvious that PHL is attacking NYC.

    I simply find it ironic that people should insist on mannerly behavior while exempting themselves from the usual definition of it.
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    May 30, 2007 3:23 AM GMT
    I am writing while in the midst of a research trip. Because of that, I have been off of the Forums for about two weeks or so.

    I differentiate between passionate posters who may make repetitive posts, and sometimes get angry, from those who say hateful, mean-spirited, prejudiced things. One, in particular, has had (and probably does now) have at least four separate RealJock identities...and sometimes responds to his own posts under one of his other identities.

    But it is true. I've learned to try to synopsize my thoughts, even bullet point them, and then leave the thread once I made a point. It's not useful to continue back and forth once the same hting has been said.

    And, I don't think it would be fair to ask the moderator to take the job has censor or policeman either.

    Just scroll past and don't respond.

    By the way, I've read many posts that I interpret as humorous or funny, but that other people might interpret as not so humorous. That's the drawback of web or email conversations....you can never judge facial expressions etc.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    May 30, 2007 4:22 AM GMT
    I simply find it ironic that people should insist on mannerly behavior while exempting themselves from the usual definition of it.

    omg...

    /hero