"Straight" guy's signals...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    I just moved to a very conservative town in west Texas and all of the guys I seem to be interested in appear to be straight. I feel like I have a pretty good gaydar, but I also grew up in Dallas and lived in San Antonio, which guys are much more comfortable with themselves. Here is a completely different story.

    How do you guys think I should flirt with guys without making it obvious that I am flirting?
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    May 25, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    Tread lightly. Be friends with them. When you finally get them alone, tell them you really like them and want to experiment with your feelings. Then say "no homo."
















    And... west Texas is still on the map?
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    May 25, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    Well, I am not really wanting a hookup. I want a relationship. I also don't want to feel like I am going back into the closet considering I am out and 100% comfortable with who I am. The guys I usually like are completely masculine and aren't involved with the scene at all, so meeting is very difficult.

    And yes, thanks to Texas Tech Lubbock is still around lol.
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    May 26, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    myname1 saidWell, I am not really wanting a hookup. I want a relationship. I also don't want to feel like I am going back into the closet considering I am out and 100% comfortable with who I am. The guys I usually like are completely masculine and aren't involved with the scene at all, so meeting is very difficult.

    And yes, thanks to Texas Tech Lubbock is still around lol.


    Any gay hangouts in that town?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 26, 2010 12:42 AM GMT
    try the university scene at TT
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    May 26, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    Just developing a friendship with other guys will get you started. You'll be able to find out a lot more about them if you're hanging out regularly. That way, even if he does end up being straight, at least you've got a friend out of it.

    When I'm not sure about a guy, I usually give them a bro-nod. You know, the upward nod... just make sure you've got a smile on your face or it will just mean "hi." If you smile, it's more like a "hi." with a "I'm happy to be looking at you" subtext, that they can take however they want.


    PS: Not that I'm condoning excessive alcohol consumption (not that I'm not condoning it either) but a couple beers with a guy will generally allow you to get a better impression of what they're looking for. Closet cases generally get very physically affection, which is socially accepted as "oh he's just drunk," but often gives light to hidden intimate desires.


    PPS: Good luck
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    May 26, 2010 1:56 AM GMT
    I was flying back from Lubbock
    And I saw Jesus on the plane
    Or maybe it was Elvis
    You know, they kind of look the same

    /Yeah, I went there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 2:12 AM GMT
    myname1 saidWell, I am not really wanting a hookup. I want a relationship. I also don't want to feel like I am going back into the closet considering I am out and 100% comfortable with who I am. The guys I usually like are completely masculine and aren't involved with the scene at all, so meeting is very difficult.

    And yes, thanks to Texas Tech Lubbock is still around lol.
    Oh fuck I struck a nerve. icon_lol.gif

    If you're looking for a relationship, forget the "straight" guys. They're closeted anyway, and don't wanna come out. They just want a quick nut and a phone number for repeat violations.

    If you're looking for "masculine" men, you'll have better luck a leather or kink bar.

    I'm also 100% comfortable with who I am and wouldn't dare go after a "straight" guy down here. It's way too easy to get laid here without pretending to be someone else. Well, unless he's like totally fucking awesometastically hot. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    Dude, Lubbock isn't as conservative as you think. It's no Oak Lawn or anything, but I tell people all the time, and I'm always surprised to find out who else is "family".
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    Jul 02, 2011 3:51 PM GMT
    Just be careful and don't get Raider Rash haha jk. I don't think people really understand how bad west texas is. I was born in raised in Abilene which was even worse considering we didn't have a major university, more baptist churches per capita. If i were you if your that comfortable just be real and tell them straight up your gay.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jul 02, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    buddy, i will try getting to know them first. i feel like if you take the time to get to know someone than you will get a chance to figure out if they are gay or not.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14395

    Jul 02, 2011 3:57 PM GMT
    It is not just West Texas that is bad, you have bigoted, ignorant people everywhere even in the big major metropolitan regions of over 1 million. It is not just the small towns and rural areas that are bad.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 02, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidbuddy, i will try getting to know them first. i feel like if you take the time to get to know someone than you will get a chance to figure out if they are gay or not.



    Absolutely concur with Tuff.. I had the same thinking before I read his post.
    Know what you are doing before you do it in your small Texas town. You don't want to put yourself at risk. I understand you are comfortable, but it is very easy to forget that there may be bigots that aren't very comfortable with you. Just take an extra step before you do something you might regret. Have fun with it, just think.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Jul 02, 2011 4:50 PM GMT
    calibro saidtry the university scene at TT



    agree! i have found that "college towns", wherever they might be, are more accepting and "Gay Friendly" than other parts of the state.


    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    I was raised about 20 miles east of Lubbock and went to Tech. Lubbock is not what we called a small town. It is about 230,000. Lubbock is much more progressive than you think and not as redneck as you would expect. I never encountered any problems prior to moving or when I go back for visits. I think most of it may be due to your misconceptions just because it's West Texas.

    Just be yourself and don't worry about who you do or do not come out to. If you are out, people that don't mind will be there.

    Good luck.

    P.S. I used to have no problem getting dates with farm boys and cowboys before I moved from there.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 02, 2011 5:27 PM GMT
    PaulNKS

    I used to have no problem getting dates with farm boys and cowboys before I moved from there.



    There was a .. very nice looking guy from the AQHA (American Quarter Horse Assn) in Amarillo that encouraged dates... but it was at the beginning with my bf so he kind of went away.... some of those Texas guys are damned hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan said
    PaulNKS

    I used to have no problem getting dates with farm boys and cowboys before I moved from there.



    There was a .. very nice looking guy from the AQHA (American Quarter Horse Assn) in Amarillo that encouraged dates... but it was at the beginning with my bf so he kind of went away.... some of those Texas guys are damned hot.

    You're preachin' to the choir.... Amen! LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    You'll be surprised just how nice people straight dudes are. (why do you think they're "my type"). Just keep in mind that if they're straight, s gay come on will probably make them uncomfortable. I love my straight dudes!