Is it always this hard?

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    May 25, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    Was coming out to your parents hard for everybody? I just came out to my mom, and she's taking it fine, but i'm freaking out. I feel like i'm gonna puke, and i'm shaking.
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    May 25, 2010 11:58 PM GMT
    Haha aww. You just overcame a big fear, and you are probably having mild shock. Just sit down and drink some water and chill out dude.. you did good.
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    May 26, 2010 12:02 AM GMT
    Congrats on coming out. Have some chamomile tea to settle your stomach, I assume you are just releasing pent up nervousness.

    Important thing is, that your mom is ok with it. So all your fears and trepidation were for naught. Go and hug her, tell her that you love her and that your are incredibly happy that she is so cool with you being gay.
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    May 26, 2010 12:03 AM GMT
    Heh.

    Congrats on coming out!
  • gjoseph

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    May 26, 2010 12:18 AM GMT
    Congrats!! Just relax, and always remember your mom will ALWAYS love you =).
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    May 26, 2010 12:19 AM GMT
    Congrats on coming out! It's a big step, and one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself.

    I just came out in February, and I felt the same. Freaked out. After much thinking and dissection, I realized that this was because, while I was fine with being gay, I didn't know how to be OPENLY gay. More specifically, because I had been in the closet, I never fully embraced the real me, and that's a tough thing to work through. Perhaps this is why you feel freaked out? Just my two cents. It will get easier with time, and you have plenty of it being so young!

    Again Congrats! icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 26, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    Congratulations. Now you're positioned to go on with the rest of your life - being the person you are meant to be.

    Some parents and grandparents take our news better than others. Everyone has a different experience. I was lucky to come from a good family who gave me no problems with my news.

    Employers though - - - that's a different story for me. My advice would be to be extremely careful around the work place if you are not absolutely certain that your news won't result in your being tossed out of your company.

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    May 26, 2010 12:27 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the input. Ya I think I was in shock for a period of time there. I'm pretty sure it is because I don't know how to be open about my sexuality. I agree that I am comfortable with being gay, but have no idea how to be more open about it with other people.
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    May 26, 2010 12:44 AM GMT
    It takes time, it's not an overnight thing. Just relax and it'll come to you.
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    May 26, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    If it makes you feel better I felt the same, I was shaking and felt like I was nuts. It went away, you'll be fine, give it time.
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    May 26, 2010 12:55 AM GMT
    Congrats!
    Mine was more of when and why do I tell them? I was almost willing to go on and live life the way it was but then I met my boyfriend...and well, you can't keep someone you want to see a secret forever...they're bound to find out so I did it myself.

    To the public, I did in a rather...brash way. My sister (who I never tell people I have, let alone a family because they're all horrible people) said that she would out me to the world because I posted a Gay Education video on her Facebook wall. So I did it myself in a status and told her to fuck off.
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    May 26, 2010 12:59 AM GMT
    livestrong1248 saidWas coming out to your parents hard for everybody? I just came out to my mom, and she's taking it fine, but i'm freaking out. I feel like i'm gonna puke, and i'm shaking.


    Oh...I know it was and still is a challenging topic with my family........


    My mom still thinks I need to find a woman to screw and my Dad is a total____!!


    Give it time and you should be proud you have the balls to step up and say...I am in control of my life and I am not going to let you or anyone tell me what to do and how many babies I should make......LOL
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    May 26, 2010 1:06 AM GMT
    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Coming out to your family is always the hardest part. BUT now, you've got a really strong ally standing right there with you. If you're mom is fine with it, she's fine with it. Just breathe (puke if you need to) and understand that she's got your back. You are among those fortunate enough to have a parent who accepts you and doesn't care - some aren't so lucky, so count your blessings.

    And, honestly? Parents always know. As my mom said to me when I came out to them (talk about haranguing!) she's known since I was a wee lad. From her words, "You don't raise a child and not know that child inside and out. I know you were gay. Dad knew. We were just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell us." I pretty much did what Alec Mapa did on his skit on Logo (watch it - it's funny). In the end, it cultivated a stronger relationship with my parents. Now that you've taken this momentous step, don't worry about what isn't - you're mom accepted it AND you. Find ways to strengthen your bond. You'll never know how important that bond is :-)
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    May 26, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    Well Congrats for starters!
    It's not an easy thing to do especially when you've no clue where those you love stand on the issue. I for one told my folks at the tender age of 13 & for a decade my life & relationship with them went to hell. In the end they eventually disowned me but whatever. I'd rather not have homophobe's as family. And i'm uber better the person for it. Also it gives me a second chance to make a family that I belong to and can appreciate and vice versa.
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    May 26, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    My mother was a miracle. Dad cried.
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    May 26, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    I never come out per se. I certainly never told the women who gave birth to be either. But.............I never hid it either, I just lived my life. I've never asked for acceptance for being a homosexual, that why I've never come out per se.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 26, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    Remember those warnings about avoiding getting between a mother bear and her cubs? No bully will ever beat you up again for being gay, now that your mom knows!
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    May 26, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    My coming out to my folks was painful and heartwrenching! However, with time and effort on both our parts we have built a more honest, loving and positive relationship. Now, I'd consider my dad one of my best friends, and my mom is unflinchingly protective of me and my partner.

    Everyone's coming out is challenging to them in some way, but if you take some time to breath and relax, there are some amazing things to discover about yourself during this time. It gets so much easier once you realize the sky isn't fallng. You'll be fine! =) Congrats!
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    May 26, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    My first few months of coming out to close friends and family was terrifying. Fraught with self-doubt and fear of rejection. Parents were tough, but I told them early on. It may have been easier to wait until I'd come out to more friends, first. It was hardest telling my closest friend at the time. I kept putting it off. He found out from someone else, first, but played it cool until I told him. Turned out it wasn't that big of a deal. I finally realized that if anyone rejected me it said more about them than me. In the case of friends, if they rejected me they weren't my friends to begin with.

    You'll build your confidence and self-assurance as you go. It comes with experience.
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    May 26, 2010 2:40 AM GMT
    Congratulations…relax and breath…go to bed early, tomorrow you are going to feel so happy; you may break out in spontaneous dance.
    Yeay Mom.
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    May 26, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    livestrong1248 saidIs it always this hard?
    No. It didn't get that way till I saw you shirtless.

    Oh oops, you weren't talking about that. icon_razz.gif

    Uh, I didn't have a choice when I came out to my parents. They kinda accidentally sorta walked in on me and my ex-bf as we were "making up" in my bedroom. Long story follows...

    You'll be just fine. If you need to puke, go for it. Just let it be known that I will laugh at you for it.

    PS. Congrats on coming out! You'll feel better soon. Trust me on this. icon_biggrin.gif
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 26, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
    That's what he said. No, I don't think so. Coming out to my parents was the hardest of all the coming out processes. They're important figures in your life. It's a scary thing to think of them thinking differently of you for just being yourself. Do it when you're ready and the time is right.
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    May 26, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    congrats on coming out to your parents!

    Also Re: thread title - ... That's what he said!
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    May 26, 2010 3:45 AM GMT
    First of all... that's what she said.


    And congrats on coming out! Big step, it'll just keep getting easier from here. icon_wink.gif
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    May 26, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    Why do you have to lure people with such... aaagh.