Help Me Go Slow

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    I had my heart ripped out 3 months ago. I've been struggling to move on, making some difficult self discoveries, etc.

    Last night a chat window popped up from an attractive, intelligent, funny, amazing guy. We chatted through the night until 3 am and we are going to chat again tonight. We plan on meeting this weekend.

    I already told him I don't really feel like dating me is a great idea until I've had some more time to heal. But I don't want to lose out on my shot with him.

    Suggestions?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    Dude...been there, done that. I'm sorry you are hurting. It really does get better with time.

    The thing is, if you're not ready to date, you're not ready to date. Period. Don't make any excuses for this.

    I'm preaching to the choir, since you've already given an indication that you already know yourself, but don't date simply for the process of dating. If you aren't in it emotionally, it would be a waste of his time and yours.

    AND, there is a high chance that both of you will end up being bitter and loathing each other.

    You've told him and made it clear. If he cares about you more than the trick status, he'll understand and he'll wait patiently. You want to avoid turning him into the rebound since that leads to even more heartache.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    May 26, 2010 12:08 PM GMT
    It's been 3 months, a nice, round "get over it" amount of time. Plus, you're in Utah, when will this happen again? I say keep the date.
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    May 26, 2010 4:06 PM GMT
    Start out as friends, feel your way through it. Getting to know each other as friends first allows you to continue without the pressure. If he recognizes your potential, he'll invest the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    betterplan saidI had my heart ripped out 3 months ago. I've been struggling to move on, making some difficult self discoveries, etc.

    Last night a chat window popped up from an attractive, intelligent, funny, amazing guy. We chatted through the night until 3 am and we are going to chat again tonight. We plan on meeting this weekend.

    I already told him I don't really feel like dating me is a great idea until I've had some more time to heal. But I don't want to lose out on my shot with him.

    Suggestions?


    Well, think logically. Choose to be miserable, or not. Your choice. Very simple, indeed.