Is there such a thing as bisexuality?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 4:54 AM GMT
    Anna Paquin thinks so, but she's not exactly a scientist!

    Hey guys!

    First post here. I've lurked here for a day or two, I like the down to earth attitude. I've been looking for some laid back forum to discuss a question I had, as the Sexology forums I usually frequent is filled with stuck-up asses.

    I'm 25. From 19 to 23 I was in medical school. Things were going fantastic. In my fourth and last year, one day, I lost a patient, a kid... wasn't my fault, but it turned me into a crazy depressed lunatic. I took six months off, then came back. While I was practicing a physical exam with a friend for an upcoming exam, she sensed a bump where there shouldn't be one. This was one fucking ironic day.

    Hello cancer!

    The shit hit the fan, now I'm fine, but it opened my eyes wide open: Carpe Diem wasn't just some random bullshit spat during one of the most boring movie of history (Dead Poet Society...). It was true, and I had failed miserably at it.

    So here I am today, discussing bisexuality. I was mastering in sexology while completing my M.D., and ended up specializing in the revolution of female sexuality for my thesis. I worked with someone else mastering, and she was covering sexual labels and etiquette.

    The thing is: I've been physically attracted to guys since I was a teenager. The furthest I've went was mutual masturbation at age 12 or 13 or so... there was a chance for me to interact with an open bi during a threesome, but we only had one condom, and the "session" was stopped abruptly for some ridiculous reason... to make a story short, never went beyond a kiss with the guy... the girl seemed to have been in heaven.

    Now that the cancer is in remission, I'm healthy again, I'd like to act on it... I tried anal stimulation first with an aneros "device"... went well, was fantastic. Then bought this:
    http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/stra ... s/mistress

    It wasn't weird at first, but in the end, it's fantastic. Some days, I'll get some craving for gay porn, but some days, it's the contrary. I know I couldn't live without women for sure... there's something about the soft skin of their breasts that's just addicting and drugging.

    Why am I rambling? According to my colleague's thesis, sexual etiquette and labels don't mean shit, but they're necessary for "healthy sexual evolution" (paraphrasing).

    Those of you who are gay (or bi?) and have had experience, what's your experience with this? I friend of mine is gay, and he says he takes offense when someone approaches him and says he's bisexual, and is only looking to experiment.

    I'm slightly scared to act on my impulses... simply because, this is exactly how I'd describe myself... "A 99% certainty that I am bisexual and wish to experiment". I'm a shy guy in real life when it comes to dating (women/guy, doesn't matter), so I could never picture myself openly asking some guy in a bar if he's gay and if he's willing to experiment with me... that sounds so lame, it makes me cringe.

    I went on reputable/legitimate dating sites... some guys seem to be looking for the same thing as me, though I've always frowned upon those sites, I don't consider them really safe (health wise...).

    Shall I recapitulate?
    1- Is there such a thing as bisexuality?
    2- Do you take offense at someone labeling himself as such?

    I'd like to act on it before I become involved in a serious relationship again, unless the lady's open to a bi-action threesome...

    Thanks for your thoughts, flames and comments in advance!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 5:39 AM GMT
    Carpe diem.




    Yes, bisexuals exist. No, I'm not offended by them.
    And it's all experimentation, no matter what. Find what you like/who you like to do.
    Go to a gay bar, chances are the guys in there are gay/bi so you don't have to ask.
    You've never even had sex yet with another man, that's okay. Just be honest with yourself and don't act too stupid.

    I'm sorta confused about the part where you go to legitimate dating sites and find guys you like, yet find them to be unsafe.

    Have fun!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 5:54 AM GMT
    Sexuality is more complex than the black and white "gay" "straight" leads us to believe. Most people are more attracted to one gender than the other, and our socialization tends to make us ignore or deny thoughts of the gender we're not accustomed to. We can't control who we're attracted to.

    I can't speak as well about the rest of your post. I tend to be pretty traditional, even boring in most facets of my life, especially my sex life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 11:34 AM GMT
    My youngest brother who is also a breeder of two children, and is in a long term relationship with a women, also enjoys secret meeting with guys, to get off with. I once approached him to talk about this as I had ignored things people had said to me in the past, and one day the penny dropped. he become aggressive, that a family member should know his dirty little secret. So he is a bisexual, neither straight or gay; albeit he prefers to hid behind a women and children, and sports.

    I on the other hand am a pure homosexual. I have no interest in the opiset sex at all! I feel a vagina is a vile dripping mucus membrane, that I just don't want to play in. So I'm a poofter.

    So yes there is such a thing as a bisexual, no matter if he has a boyfriend, or a girlfriend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 11:40 AM GMT
    AaronG83 said
    1- Is there such a thing as bisexuality?
    2- Do you take offense at someone labeling himself as such?
    1. Yes
    2. No
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 26, 2010 11:41 AM GMT
    I don't see how anyone takes offense to another person's self-description. But many gays are trivial like this.

    I think bisexuality is real and I support them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 11:55 AM GMT
    AaronG83 saidI've lurked here for a day or two, I like the down to earth attitude



    In what thread can I find that attitude? Send me a link...

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    May 26, 2010 12:08 PM GMT
    DjDorchester said
    AaronG83 saidI've lurked here for a day or two, I like the down to earth attitude



    In what thread can I find that attitude? Send me a link...

    I hate being down to earth. People suck down there.
    formation-080209.jpg
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    May 26, 2010 12:10 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    AaronG83 saidI've lurked here for a day or two, I like the down to earth attitude



    In what thread can I find that attitude? Send me a link...

    I hate being down to earth. People suck down there.
    formation-080209.jpg


    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
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    May 26, 2010 12:14 PM GMT
    DjDorchester said
    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
    If you don't mind sitting in my lap, ok. The plane only has one seat. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:16 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
    If you don't mind sitting in my lap, ok. The plane only has one seat. icon_razz.gif



    I'll let the tower know you're coming in.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:17 PM GMT
    DjDorchester said
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
    If you don't mind sitting in my lap, ok. The plane only has one seat. icon_razz.gif



    I'll let the tower know you're coming in.

    Tower guys are weird. I was partying with them earlier this year and one of them cleared me to enter his "airspace." icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:21 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
    If you don't mind sitting in my lap, ok. The plane only has one seat. icon_razz.gif



    I'll let the tower know you're coming in.

    Tower guys are weird. I was partying with them earlier this year and one of them cleared me to enter his "airspace." icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Pfftt... silly bisexuals.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:22 PM GMT
    DjDorchester said
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    paulflexes said
    DjDorchester said
    Fly to Boston and pick me up. K?
    If you don't mind sitting in my lap, ok. The plane only has one seat. icon_razz.gif



    I'll let the tower know you're coming in.

    Tower guys are weird. I was partying with them earlier this year and one of them cleared me to enter his "airspace." icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Pfftt... silly bisexuals.

    LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    Yep, I'm living proof
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    May 26, 2010 12:28 PM GMT
    I kinda look at it like one would look at intelligence---bisexuality. We're all of varying degrees of 'smarts.' No two people are the same.

    And sexuality is kinda the same.

    So? You're bi. Awesome. As long as it makes ya happy and you're not kicking puppies or anything, you're good to go.

    Welcome to the boards, dude.

    Peace,
    Me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    Tina fey (aka Liz lemon) : There's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something invented in the 90s so they could sell more hair products.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 12:36 PM GMT
    1) Yes
    2) No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 1:31 PM GMT
    Hey Aaron,

    Look at this, see the top? It's black and we'll call that straight. We'll call the bottom gay. Everything else between are shades of sexuality, and yes orientation. I think there are more degrees (shades) of bisexuality than gay orientation.

    -Doug

    grey.jpg[/quote]

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 1:47 PM GMT
    Honestly i think everyone is at least a little bisexual. Now i have never been with a women and i even call myself gay. (honestly its an easier title to carry) but i could easily be bi and be with a women. Now im very picky with women (even jsut as friends) so sleeping with one would be hard for me in that sense but im the same way with guys. Now im not planing on sleeping with women or searching out women, but if i came across the right one and we were both into it i could see myself being with a women even long term.
    and even with all these thoughts in my mind, if someone asks me "are you gay?" ill still say yes. ..its a lot easier than explainging that. especially since it will almost always raise questions.

    and as far as gay men getting offended by being called bi, some queers are jsut really bitchy (some heteros are too icon_razz.gif )
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 26, 2010 1:48 PM GMT
    I am more than willing to help a fellow male discover new ways of pleasure.
    Who am I to deny him that?

    Unfortunately I draw the line at women though. Personal preference.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 2:01 PM GMT
    Yes. I'm one. It's the person and the equipment they bring to the game that turns me on! Not the gender. Like both. Had both! And yes, I've met a few "gays" that get offended at the term "bisexual". Had a few "discussions" with them and their closed minds. Some can b just as bigoted as the extremes on the "religious" side.
  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    May 26, 2010 2:12 PM GMT
    Hey, check my profile. I think I am a healthy example of a bisexual. But lots of guys on this site get pretty nasty with me because 1) I'm married to a woman and still connect with guys; 2) consider myself bi, rather than a repressed homosexual. I think you just have to find the path that works for you, and then make sure you conduct your life with integrity, treat your partner with love and mutual respect.
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 26, 2010 2:15 PM GMT
    Sorry...did I miss something?
    Why are gay guys anti-bi?icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2010 2:18 PM GMT
    Kinsey thought so, and he was a scientist. icon_biggrin.gif