so how's this dating thing work?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2010 9:36 AM GMT
    Okie dokie, so, I've never dated anyone, my last relationship we sorta both fell into it and before we knew it we were a couple and that was that and nothing was ever really like planned to happen in anyway..

    Well, I've sorta kinda maybe taken a guy out on a date I think sorta, it was a while ago, but yeah, not sure..

    But anyway, hows all this work? I was asked out on a date by a guy a few days ago that I've been talking to for a while, I might have handled it a little poorly when I um.. kinda condescendingly said "no" well.. bad on my part.

    So, whats a date, ya know, a proper one? if you guys start telling me it's like that pathetic movie bullshit, I think I'll vomit.. cause if I have to be all sweet and bullshit like that, well, it'll never work heh.. Hey I got my flaws hahaha icon_razz.gif

    I dun know really, I just don't know what to expect, what's expected of me and bla bla bla.
  • Greygull

    Posts: 282

    May 27, 2010 11:07 AM GMT
    FInd someone you like and Invite him for Drinks or coffee and go from there. Drinks or coffee is a favorite of mine because if you dont hit it off, well it takes how long ti takes for you to drink!

    Also it's cheap and doesn't require someone to pay ect. If you guys really get it going I'd say set second date and i kinda rolls of from there


    As far as what's expected of you, Just a conversation, be who you are you'll either hit it off or not,
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    May 27, 2010 11:29 AM GMT
    Cynics go on dates, too. They probably just knock over old ladies, stomp on kittens, and then ask about and destroy one another's hopes and dreams for the future. Or something like that.
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    May 27, 2010 12:01 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidOkie dokie, so, I've never dated anyone...

    I dun know really, I just don't know what to expect, what's expected of me and bla bla bla.

    Reminds me of when the crew of the HMS Pinafore asks the Captain in song whether he swears:
    I never use a big, big D-
    What, never?
    No, never!
    What, never?
    Hardly ever!


    In that "worn-out sluts" thread you wrote:

    "I have slept with, in total, 363 men, that's THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE DIFFERENT MEN, let me make this easier, for almost every day of the year, I've fucked a different guy since I was probably what, 15???? possibly 16..."

    And NONE of them was ever a date, or led to one? What, never? You do say: "...I've sorta kinda maybe taken a guy out on a date I think sorta, it was a while ago, but yeah, not sure." So, hardly ever?

    You also write here: "...my last relationship we sorta both fell into it and before we knew it we were a couple..." I don't think I ever had a "proper" date, either, if that means when one of you appears at the other's door with a box of candy and a handful of flowers. What happened is we just got together to "do stuff" and hang out. Or at most see a movie (I know, that's pathetic to you), or go to a restaurant, or a gay bar or club. In other words, we just sorta fell into it, then sorta did it again, and in a few cases it led to an LTR, even a partnership, just like happened to you.

    My advice: don't think of it as a "date" and most of all not a "job interview" or an "audition" for either of you. I think you HAVE been on dates before, you just didn't know it. Maybe think of it as an appointment, anything but a date, cause I suspect that word is spooking you.

    Dating for most men works best when you just intend to hang out together and have a good time. Unless you plan to go in (very tough) drag, you're not expected to blush or twitter (and I don't mean on your cell) at everything he says. If your persona online here is any indication, I have to believe this guy is as manly as you are, and unlikely to play the gushing suitor to your winsome maid.

    But cut him some slack if he does feel he has to make a dating gesture of some sort, like buying you a drink. And how about asking him ahead of time what he's planning, just so you know what to wear and possibly bring, like maybe a camera, or an airsick bag. Seriously, relax and have fun!

    BTW, how's your cold, and when do you get that iPad?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 27, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    imo, a date is a social engagement where to focus is on getting to know someone, not getting them in bed (or wherever else you want to fuck them)
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    May 27, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    Tank -

    If you want to come to NYC, I'll ask my boyfriend for special dispensation to show you the "ropes" (and the whips, chains, and handcuffs).
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    May 27, 2010 1:50 PM GMT
    SDC10178.jpg

    Those are dates.

    All you're doing is hanging out with a guy. Take it from there. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidWell, I've sorta kinda maybe taken a guy out on a date I think sorta, it was a while ago, but yeah, not sure..

    Sticking your finger in your ex's cousin wasn't a date???
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    May 28, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    Red none of those guys were dates they knew theycwere nothing more then some fun in the sack and nothing more ever and it was as simple as that

    Thanks everyone for the advice I apologized to the guy and told him I wasn't interested just yet in dating anyone at the end of the day I think my natural reaction pretty much told me everything I and he needed to know so no dating for me for a while icon_smile.gif