The Awkwardness of Stumbling Upon a Cheating Partner

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2010 2:33 AM GMT
    Not mine, but someone else's. So we left an HIV/AIDS fundraiser tonight, and I decided we should have a little bite to eat about 8 PM. The place is packed, and we have to take one of those pager things. I see a bar cocktail table opening up and I lunge for it, but I find myself in a tie with another guy.

    Well I know him! And I suggest we share the bar table while we wait for our dinner table to become available. Except... he's with a guy who's not his partner, and they're not hiding the fact that they're into each other. OOOPS!!!

    So now the 4 of us are sitting there, and they're both a bit drunk already, and my own partner whispers in my ear that he doesn't wanna see this, and do what I can to keep them from joining us at our dinner table when it becomes available. Well, how do you do THAT?

    But I think they realized the impossible situation themselves, and when our pager went off they remained behind as we were seated. But we've already got an invite to our friend's place in a couple of weeks, and so now what happens?

    We weren't aware they had an open relationship. And maybe they don't. I think we may pass on the party, because we don't like drama. If there's something going on here, we don't wanna be within 10 miles of it. You ever stumble across gay friends cheating? What did you do? A new experience for us both. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    I haven't been in that situation, but I know my first question would be asking if the relationship is open. If it is, I'd go to the party. If not, I'd speak my mind...and not even in a mean way 'cause I could care less. If he gets caught, it was his decision to cheat. icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 28, 2010 10:38 AM GMT
    Oooh .... I'm bad when it comes to things like this

    I would have milked it for all it was worth
    and said things like
    So where's Bill tonight?
    and Do you have a BF too? to the other guy icon_cool.gif
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    May 28, 2010 11:52 AM GMT
    I would have been an adult about it, asked the guy to speak with him in private for a few minutes cause you know him and its something personal. When you get alone so that the other party member eg his date don't hear what you're going to ask cause if it does backfire and you do say something like the other guys mentioned and it turns out they are just playing it up for you and he is like his cousin or something like that, well you look like a douche. So when you get to ask him, just man up and ask "I don't know if you are in an open relationship or what but I have to ask cause my partner and I feel a little awkward here about this but is that your date or what?" Its best to do things like this cause really you don't know the whole story behind the relationship of your two friends and you don't know the relationship between these two you saw, so to avoid "drama" as you put it, be a man and ask him or rather have asked him because its in the past now. I'd still go to the party and without getting either into trouble when you do go, just ask if they are in an open relationship cause its rather common thing to talk about in gay culture and shouldn't offend anyone. Who knows maybe you'll see that guy at the party too and you can all have a good laugh about it. icon_lol.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 28, 2010 11:59 AM GMT
    My response would absolutely depend on what degree I knew the other couple.
    If they were acquaintances, I would probably not ask questions, be polite there, but if the situation ever presented itself, I might ask a question or make a comment. I might keep my mouth shut and stay out of it as it wouldn't be my business.

    If I knew the couple well, I'd probably ask what was going on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2010 12:01 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    So now the 4 of us are sitting there, and they're both a bit drunk already, and my own partner whispers in my ear that he doesn't wanna see this, and do what I can to keep them from joining us at our dinner table when it becomes available. Well, how do you do THAT?


    I dunno about you but I would have had a 4 way!