OMG!!! HELP ME PLEASE IM SO AWKWARD!!!

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    May 30, 2010 9:54 PM GMT
    Hey everyone!

    I really want some tips and help about what i can do to improve my awkwardness around guys i like. Or actually people in general

    basically to make a long story short yesterday as i was going into my gym this personal trainer that i have the biggest crush on was coming out i've had a crush on him for so long and i just sneak glances at him every once in a while. so while i was walking i looked up and he was walking my way face to face. he was like 10 steps way. Instead of playing it cool and keep walking i froze and just stared at him i didn't know what to do then i moved into his way FROZE then moved back my way and kept walking. And my problem is anything i think or feel reads off on my face and through my eyes. I'm pretty sure he read the nervousness on my face and through my eyes. I got sooo nervous!! i hate this. I hate that I've been so awkward. Before when i had extra pounds and didn't look so good i had an amazing personality. I was outgoing and friendly and funny. And now that i look decent and people complement me and hit on me i act awkward and funny. I get nervous and don't know how to react and i don't even know how to respond so most of the time I come off as weird and awkward.
    So my questions for all of you experienced people out there are:

    1) do you guys think that the personal trainer knows i have a crush on him? he always catches me staring at him. now that i bumped into him and did that what do you think he thinks?

    2) what i can i do to know if he is gay or not?

    3) how can i be less awkward around people in general and stop being so nervous and shy?

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    May 30, 2010 9:57 PM GMT


    MPP

    MULTPLE PROFILE POSTER
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    May 30, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    So cute!

    1) Yes.
    2) I don't know.
    3) I am awkward with guys I think are cute, so I can't give you any advice.
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    May 30, 2010 10:00 PM GMT
    Just tackle him to the ground, tear off his clothes, and start groping all over his body and dry humping his abs. You'll find out if he's gay somewhere in the process.
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    May 30, 2010 10:00 PM GMT
    Hillie said

    MPP

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    I don't even know what that means. And this is my first time on here ive never posted this question any were else. I'm scared he like some how comes on this site and reads it!
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    May 30, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidJust tackle him to the ground, tear off his clothes, and start groping all over his body and dry humping his abs. You'll find out if he's gay somewhere in the process.


    icon_sad.gif I can't even look him straight in the eyes, how the hell am i suppose to even begin to try doing that!!!
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    May 31, 2010 4:04 AM GMT
    Not to worry, there a lot of gay guys like you. They may be cool, calm and collected most of the time but am attractive guy walks by or approaches them they become "awkward" around them

    1. Yes. People are more perceptive than we give them credit for, he probably figured it out by now.

    2. How does he act around you? How does he look at you? Does he give you a couple of quick looks? Do you "catch" him looking at you? Eye contact tells you a lot about someone else.

    3. Talk to them and stop thinking about what to say or how to say it.

    You're going to have to approach guys and talk to them to get over this. It depends on the situation and where you are but start with an opener like asking the time or a general question- in some situations you need to improvise and think on your feet.

    It will take some time to get over your awkwardness but remember confidence is sexy.
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    May 31, 2010 4:11 AM GMT
    1st. Try to be friends with him. 2nd. Be comfortable with youself (obviously you aren't because you can't even take a compliment from strangers) How are you going to take a compliment from HIM? 3rd. let him make the first move (aka first kiss) but don't push it. 4th. look for small ways that he show his concern/caring for you and reciprocate it. 5th try to have deep conversation with him 6th share personal information about each other.

    Result, if he only passes 1st and 2nd, he's either straight or not into you. Move on.
    if he only passes 3rd, he's a bootycall.
    if he passes 4th, he can be considered for a relationship, this point he's just testing the waters if you are a good fit.
    if he passes 5th, you are in a relationship with him.
    if he passes 6th, he's a keeper.
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    May 31, 2010 4:16 AM GMT
    Strike up a conversation. Ask him a genuine question on fitness, and, most importantly: LISTEN to his answer. The key to comfortable (and really, honest) communication is to stop focusing on yourself and to focus on your interlocutor. If you're focused on the words coming out of his mouth and what they actually mean, you'll find you cannot be self-conscious.
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    May 31, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    I kind of find guys who are nervous around me because they have feelings for me, I find them cute. I think it's a very endearing personality. Confident guy is not always attractive to me, they are a dime a dozens. Mostly because I want to sweep the nervous guy off his feet and tell him that it's okay, don't be shy.
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    May 31, 2010 4:25 AM GMT
    meemo21 saidHey everyone!

    I really want some tips and help about what i can do to improve my awkwardness around guys i like. Or actually people in general

    basically to make a long story short yesterday as i was going into my gym this personal trainer that i have the biggest crush on was coming out i've had a crush on him for so long and i just sneak glances at him every once in a while. so while i was walking i looked up and he was walking my way face to face. he was like 10 steps way. Instead of playing it cool and keep walking i froze and just stared at him i didn't know what to do then i moved into his way FROZE then moved back my way and kept walking. And my problem is anything i think or feel reads off on my face and through my eyes. I'm pretty sure he read the nervousness on my face and through my eyes. I got sooo nervous!! i hate this. I hate that I've been so awkward. Before when i had extra pounds and didn't look so good i had an amazing personality. I was outgoing and friendly and funny. And now that i look decent and people complement me and hit on me i act awkward and funny. I get nervous and don't know how to react and i don't even know how to respond so most of the time I come off as weird and awkward.
    So my questions for all of you experienced people out there are:

    1) do you guys think that the personal trainer knows i have a crush on him? he always catches me staring at him. now that i bumped into him and did that what do you think he thinks?

    2) what i can i do to know if he is gay or not?

    3) how can i be less awkward around people in general and stop being so nervous and shy?





    i think he knows, if he smiled at you i think he knows
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    May 31, 2010 4:40 AM GMT
    if u look like a deer in the headlights and yo ass freezes and u all nervous he prolly just thinks ur a dyslexic ADD stuttering kid.....lolz

    as for how to break the ice.....take Jimmy's advice.....
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    May 31, 2010 5:07 AM GMT
    Ehanson saidNot to worry, there a lot of gay guys like you. They may be cool, calm and collected most of the time but am attractive guy walks by or approaches them they become "awkward" around them

    1. Yes. People are more perceptive than we give them credit for, he probably figured it out by now.

    2. How does he act around you? How does he look at you? Does he give you a couple of quick looks? Do you "catch" him looking at you? Eye contact tells you a lot about someone else.

    3. Talk to them and stop thinking about what to say or how to say it.

    You're going to have to approach guys and talk to them to get over this. It depends on the situation and where you are but start with an opener like asking the time or a general question- in some situations you need to improvise and think on your feet.

    It will take some time to get over your awkwardness but remember confidence is sexy.



    first off Thank you so much for your response and advice!!
    i just wanted to answer your second question In regards to how he acts around me, well every time i stare at him he is staring at me. But i think he is just bored and stares at everything. But once i bumped into him like my head went into his chest while i was walking into the change room while he was coming out... and he smiled and said sorry but i just put my head down and kept walking... And once he was next to me working out on a bike and every time id look to my side to sneak a peak at him our eyes would meet. I just don't get why i have this insane attraction to him! he seems very quiet and calm and he barely makes conversations with people there... Even the people he works with!
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    May 31, 2010 5:08 AM GMT
    joshnyz saidif u look like a deer in the headlights and yo ass freezes and u all nervous he prolly just thinks ur a dyslexic ADD stuttering kid.....lolz

    as for how to break the ice.....take Jimmy's advice.....



    looooooool thank you so much for a good laugh icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 31, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    1.He knows...nothing you can do about it, just carry on like nothing :i

    2. theres nothing you can do...either ask him straightforward...or stalk the guy...I'll go with the first one

    3.Obviosly you lack self-confidence...so thats really up to you...
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    May 31, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    frenchatheart saidI kind of find guys who are nervous around me because they have feelings for me, I find them cute. I think it's a very endearing personality. Confident guy is not always attractive to me, they are a dime a dozens. Mostly because I want to sweep the nervous guy off his feet and tell him that it's okay, don't be shy.

    i wish he would do that to me icon_rolleyes.gif i'd probably melt!
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    May 31, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    frenchatheart saidI kind of find guys who are nervous around me because they have feelings for me, I find them cute. I think it's a very endearing personality. Confident guy is not always attractive to me, they are a dime a dozens. Mostly because I want to sweep the nervous guy off his feet and tell him that it's okay, don't be shy.


    Man, sure could use more guys like you around, I certainly haven't had anyone sweeping me off my feet for being nervous. Fortunately I am starting to get my hot-dude syndrome under control.
    As for the the awkwardness, trust me it's worse when you try to carry a conversation and the other guy just go silent on you @@
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    May 31, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    meemo21 said
    joshnyz saidif u look like a deer in the headlights and yo ass freezes and u all nervous he prolly just thinks ur a dyslexic ADD stuttering kid.....lolz

    as for how to break the ice.....take Jimmy's advice.....



    looooooool thank you so much for a good laugh icon_biggrin.gif



    funny-pictures-you-may-kiss-the-paw-of-t
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    May 31, 2010 6:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidJust tackle him to the ground, tear off his clothes, and start groping all over his body and dry humping his abs. You'll find out if he's gay somewhere in the process.


    Dry humping his abs! That is hilarious! You are my hero.
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    May 31, 2010 6:20 AM GMT
    Practice
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    May 31, 2010 7:01 AM GMT
    #1 i am sure he knows unless he is not to smart. #2 i would say just ask him but i wouldnt be able to myself so flirt innocent and see what happens. #3 at first i think most guys r that way right at first it is human nature. just keep being yourself people should understand.
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    May 31, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    meemo21, thanks. You've brought up an important topic because a lot of gay guys are in the closet and don't know how to approach someone they're attracted to. It can be really frustrating because there are a lot of great single guys out there who are date worthy material but can't get over the hump of being "awkward" and don't know how to act around guys they're attracted to.

    Even though times are changing a lot of young gay guys don't have anything to model off of like romantic mainstream TV or movies of how to actually start the dating process (at least not yet). Thankful we have forums like these. *Wow! That was a rant and half*icon_redface.gif

    Anyway, he sounds a bit shy himself. Probably not as shy as you but still. While confidence is sexy it's also cute when someone is shy as frenchatheart said. But if they're more shy than I am and don't make a first move I start looking for someone else. Patience does have a limit.

    Keep in mind too he could be looking at you because you're looking at him. With guys in the closet (which I'm guessing you both are) it's really about eye contact and body language. There's a lot of subtle clues that you need to look for.

    Just try talking with him and be ready for good and bad outcomes. If he's not attracted to you someone else will be. Keep us updated.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    May 31, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    frenchatheart saidI kind of find guys who are nervous around me because they have feelings for me, I find them cute. I think it's a very endearing personality. Confident guy is not always attractive to me, they are a dime a dozens. Mostly because I want to sweep the nervous guy off his feet and tell him that it's okay, don't be shy.


    sounds very promising... icon_smile.gif
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    May 31, 2010 11:05 PM GMT
    meemo, you sound adorable icon_biggrin.gif like you, i was heavier and sometimes still suffer from the "fat boy" mentality. i once tripped on a treadmill and (nearly) fell off when i saw one of the trainers take off his shirt at the gym. it happens.
    xoxo
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    May 31, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    awww.....that's cute. i have a work "friend" (we're not close...more like aquaintences) who asks me to lunch every now and then. but i find he's kinda awkward around me. one time at lunch he was like, "is it hot? i feel hot. are you hot?" me: "noooo....?" keep in mind we're in an air conditioned building. and then i ran into him on the way to grab some food another day and he happened to be in the office and he goes, "gosh...i should have asked you to lunch but i forgot which floor you were on". me: "oh, where are you sitting?". him: "i'm just two rows down from you". icon_rolleyes.gif . i don't know if he's awkward around me because he is into me, or if he's just like that, or if he's getting a weird vibe from me (but he always initiates contact with me first). but i think it's cute. i get like that too----but usually i just clam up instead of risk saying something stupid.

    for you, he may or may not know you're interested. but if he has no problem working out next to you then he at a minimum doesn't suspect a thing (vs. thinking you're some stalker). since you work out at the gym with him just ask to work in a set with him if you see him working out. or ask for him to spot you and just see where it goes from there. that doesn't answer any of your questions but it helps you get started in finding out the answer to 1 and 2 and will help a little with 3.