Jun 01, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
I'm an angry, sad, and feel guilty. I have two other siblings that live far from here and I'm forced to take care of my mom who I kept at arms length all my life because she has a toxic personality. Guilt trips are her favorite weapon. It makes her day to make someone feel like shit. She's 86, and I just want her to leave. That's why I feel guilty. I'm sad, because I don't have that warm kozy feeling that society says you should have when you think of your mother, I'm angry because I feel like like I'm on a tether, under her thumb, and she has an attitude of entitlment. I will be in my last semester of my RN education this fall and she pitched a bitch because my schedule is tight and I won't be available for HER needs. I'm just so physically and mentally worn out from dealing with someone with an attitude that "it's all about me". I feel so guilty for feeling that I just want her to "go away". I hate to say this, but I don't think I could even cry at her funeral, and I think that's coming in ther near future. She's losing weight rapidly. And she told me today, "Don't worry, it won't be long". I felt like shit, and I hope that made her day. Did any of you guys have to deal with psychologically abusive parents? I feel like I can't win. Support, encouragement, and yeah even love would be appreciated. I just don't feel like the man I was intended to be.