They're Feelin It, But You're Not....

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    Jun 01, 2010 4:27 PM GMT
    Have you guys ever been in a situation where you messed around or maybe even hooked up with someone, and the other person seemed so boring and lifeless?? But once you're all done, they tell you that it was SUPER hott?!

    I had this situation a week back, I was at this guy's house, whom i really like. And obviously one thing leads to another and we begin making out. Now we didnt have sex but it was a very heated makeout session with the removal of clothes. Now more than half the time, he just laid there and wasn't very passionate, if at all. I felt like i kept putting forth an effort and that he just wasn't into it. But after all is said and done, i leave his house, and I get a text that it was one of the hottest things ever!!

    So what I don't get, is if you think its THAT great, why the heck aren't you DOING anything?? It was so BLAH and boring....

    You guys experience this before??
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    Jun 01, 2010 4:40 PM GMT
    I was on the other end of things once. I was the guy not making any sounds and the other guy was so hot, I was in awe of him. I wasn't motionless, I was power bottoming him, but I was just too quiet. He finally said, "Are you into this - - if so let me hear it!" I've learned a lot since back then. Not that I now squeal like a chick, but I'm not quiet anymore like I was back in my 20's before I got the word from this hot, older stud.
    icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 01, 2010 5:21 PM GMT
    hahahaha, not that i squeal like a chick....favorite quote today!! But seriously, i understand if youre into it but you just dont make much noise, but show it in SOME way. I was just confused, if he liked it so much, why wasn't he putting an effort??
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    Jun 01, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    Perhaps he's a passive guy and was thrilled to the teeth with your aggression. icon_wink.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 01, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    I feel that way when I'm with a guy and he has a really, really small dick...
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    Jun 01, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
    calibro saidI feel that way when I'm with a guy and he has a really, really small dick...


    Yeah. "Not feeling it" in more ways than one, then.icon_confused.gif
  • tharyin

    Posts: 5

    Jun 01, 2010 11:00 PM GMT
    Sounds like my partner when we first met! We(I) started making out, and he just laid there the whole time. It wasn't because he wasn't interested though. As I got to know him better, he was just very shy when it came to matters of passion. I think he even felt uncomfortable just saying the word "sex". I "broke" him though, and now he gets down!! icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 01, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    Yeah, usually for me it's a matter of just being in complete awe and shock. Like "I can't believe this is actually happening to me!" Lol. I'm a quiet one. And then usually when I suddenly realize how quiet I've been I'll give a good sigh. Haha.
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    Jun 01, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidHave you guys ever been in a situation where you messed around or maybe even hooked up with someone, and the other person seemed so boring and lifeless?? But once you're all done, they tell you that it was SUPER hott?!

    I had this situation a week back, I was at this guy's house, whom i really like. And obviously one thing leads to another and we begin making out. Now we didnt have sex but it was a very heated makeout session with the removal of clothes. Now more than half the time, he just laid there and wasn't very passionate, if at all. I felt like i kept putting forth an effort and that he just wasn't into it. But after all is said and done, i leave his house, and I get a text that it was one of the hottest things ever!!

    So what I don't get, is if you think its THAT great, why the heck aren't you DOING anything?? It was so BLAH and boring....

    You guys experience this before??


    your guy could have been what I call at 'total bottom'. Guys whose dicks you have to hold up to show them they are excited. They expect the partner to do all the work and tell them what to do. I'm sure there are guys into that, but I'm not one of them.

    Afterwards they rave about the encounter and want to do it again, but my reply always is 'no thanks'. I've also just ended encounters and left because 'this isn't doing it for me'.
  • tajsreve

    Posts: 418

    Jun 01, 2010 11:54 PM GMT
    meninlove said Perhaps he's a passive guy and was thrilled to the teeth with your aggression. icon_wink.gif


    Don't give up.... if he told you that... He definately wants more. He just doesn't know how to say it. My boyfrinend was the same way the first time.

    Hook up again... and make him say it while your together.

    "You don't get what you want, unless you ask for it and show it!"
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    Jun 02, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    Well....haha, i dont think its do to "shock and awe", because he had been wanting to do it and was the one to instigate it and then just shut down.

    Just plain weird, but i mean if he liked it, then thats all that matters i guess
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jun 02, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    It's possible he's done more with you than anyone else. After all you guys kissed and took clothes off.
    Some guys never kiss.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Jun 02, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    Maybe he was intimidated/shy/utterly astounded to be with you and so he couldn't really break through that to be his true sexual self. Give him another chance.
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    Jun 02, 2010 4:27 AM GMT
    Haha, i never said i wouldnt give him another chance, but I mean it was just so boring....like i felt like i was doing all the work and nothing was being given back in return.
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    Jun 02, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 said...I was power bottoming him...


    I've never used that phrase as a verb... i LOVE IT!!!

    General Statement now: I've been on both ends off the acts, and obviously I learned from them. But my question is, Because you meet someone, even if there is no (obvious) chemistry, does it necessarily have to lead to a make-out session (at the least)?

    On the opposite end of that spectrum, I know guys who simply do NOT react [as wanted] in the bedroom-at least during the first meeting-but they honestly enjoy it.
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    Jun 02, 2010 8:16 AM GMT
    Its all confusing....if you want it and like it, get into it
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    Jun 02, 2010 10:25 AM GMT
    Sounds like this guy needs a good teacher! Usually when someone is boring is due to lack of experience, I find most of the time.

    I know sometimes it can be boring especially if I can't get it like I want to get it, but usually I look at it like it's not just me here.

    Just be upfront and honest suggest he try different things. I will say this though that if he's a pillow princess then that's a deal breaker. No reason to sit around and be catered too during sex... it isn't fast food.
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    Jun 02, 2010 1:26 PM GMT


    Teach me tonight
    Did you see that I've got a lot to learn?
    Well don't think I'm trying not to learn,
    Since this is the perfect spot to learn -
    Oooh, teach me tonight!

    Let's start with the ABC of it,
    Roll right down to the XYZ of it
    Help me solve the mystery of it,
    Teach me tonight!

    The sky's a blackboard high above you,
    If a shooting star goes by,
    I'll use that star, to write I love you,
    A thousand times across the sky.

    One thing isn't very clear my love,
    Should the teacher stand so near my love?
    Graduation's almost here my love,
    Come on and teach me tonight.

    I'll use that star to write I love you,
    A thousand times across the sky,
    One thing isn't very clear my love
    Should the teacher stand so near my love,
    Graduation's almost here my love,
    Teach me......please teach me tonight!
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    Jun 02, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    Yes I have and make sure you tell them the TRUTH!
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    Jun 02, 2010 1:56 PM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidIts all confusing....if you want it and like it, get into it


    If that is all you didn't like about him, I would give it another go. Some just need to warm up around someone new and he just might end up surprising you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2010 2:02 PM GMT
    Like other people are saying. Maybe he is still having problems with his sexuality and is still not use to it. I say keep working with him if you like him.
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    Jun 02, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    I know it's totally Rocket Science and probably requires years of schooling and mental preparation, but perhaps (brace yourself, it's a big one) you could say to him:

    "You said how hot it was but my impression was that you weren't really all that into it.. what gives?"

    I know. It might kill you. Try it anyway.
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    Jun 02, 2010 2:26 PM GMT
    Sometimes it's the initial surprise. I mean, before I became a bona fide power bottom, I just lay there. Most of the dudes I've been with have been rather gifted icon_eek.gif so it was a surprise to me when things get heated and that fucker comes whipping out and hits me in the face.

    It's not that I didn't enjoy it - I LOVED it! The feeling, the grunting, the grinding, the pounding, the. . .excuse me, I got carried away. I just didn't know how to react. I'm not very vocal in bed (I'm downright shy), so it gave the impression that I was bored - not true. I was just enjoying the sensations and loving it. Maybe that's what he was doing. Your giftedness surprised him and he just wanted to enjoy it.icon_biggrin.gif
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jun 02, 2010 9:44 PM GMT
    Hoodiestud saidIts all confusing....if you want it and like it, get into it
    How would you react if you were in the sack with an extremely hot guy and were not experienced? You'd question every move!
    Some people actually have a very difficult time relaxing.
    Some guys are super sensitive. There was a guy I nicknamed Two Socks ('cause he'd wear two pairs of socks all the time, even during the summer!) and all it would take for him was two or three strokes on the inside of his thigh and he'd orgasm! lol
    Sounds like you like more aggressive guys anyway.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Jun 02, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
    go for shot two. then if not a spark you know.