AKorCH saidIt wasn't only the CDC employee I asked. It was every doctor I've ever asked in every state I've lived in (some quite conservative), as well as part of the official line of sexual health clinics in California.
To cover themselves, some public health organizations state that HIV transmission through oral sex is possible. Even with those in mind (as with the CDC worker I spoke with), the one-on-one discussion about it is often different.
Furthermore, I made the analogy to examine fear and risk, not necessity. And if it were about necessity; no we don't need to get in cars. We can use public transportation, ride our bikes, or *gasp* walk. You've confused car use as absolutely unavoidable - which is what some people confuse oral sex for as well. So the analogy stands up in both cases - risk or necessity - and is a good one.
Suggesting that condom-use is mandatory in oral sex is at best irresponsible, confused, and at worst spreads its implicit message of disinformation.
The choice, as all sexual choices that involve consent and two knowledgeable adults, is not a moral one but an individual one based on comfort and facts. HIV is unlikely to be transmitted through oral sex. Suggesting otherwise is fear-mongering.
Again, I beg to differ.
I don't see how it can be 'irresponsible' to recommand 'safer sex'. It might be exageratly cotious, but there is nothing 'irresponsible' in promoting something that will hurt nobody, just spoil a bit of the pleasure in having sex.
Are you telling me you will take the responsibility to sware to someone there is no risk in sucking a dick without condom, then see the guy you adviced getting HIV positive while he only practice oral sex ? I won't.
The hard facts are that HIV should be easility transmited by oral (in theory) but that's it's very rare in practice, for unclear reasons.
You should do oral without condom if you know there is a risk, but that the risk is so small you can manage the situation without more stress than when you drive your car knowing you can get killed around the corner.
But those very affraid of getting sick should use a condom for oral, and like condom for anal, it can still be fun.
I completly agree with you sex should be fun and enjoyable.
But safe sex is not just an individual decision, you have a moral component, as your level of safe sex can impact the health of the guy you have sex with.
It is irresponsible to try to convince someone that no codom oral is without risk. It's responsible to explain (as you did) that the risk is so small it should not be a source of stress. But it's for each of us to take the decision, regarding how 'protected' we need to feel to enjoy sex. Knowing the facts.
20 years ago, I remember very well guys explaining me there was no risk in anal sex without condom unless you had alreay micro bleeding in rectum.
I'm 48, from the generation which was already sexually active when the HIV appeared. I'm still negative, but I see it as a mix of being cautious and lucky.
And I did suck only with condom for a very long time, until the modality of transmission where well established, and yet I would still use a condom if not sure my partner is HIV negative partner. But trust me, he would still enjoy it ;-)