Great date but...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    So i meet this guy at the gym and we hit it off right away, or so it seems. We text each other everyday and then when we have an actual date both of us are very enthusiastic about it. We both felt nervous and well we set it up. We eat and chat about different things and it turns out we have similar tastes in everything. I meet some of his friends later and we are all cool with each other. Then afterward he asks me to go grocery shopping with him and i agree. Then he asks me to go to his place to watch a movie and well i agree as well. We are there in his room watching the latest madonna concert and we begin to spoon. He caresses my chest and well we take turns on who is spooning who. Then we kiss and well end up having amazing sex. Then we finally spoon and finish watching the 2 hr long concert and we say good bye and he asks me to call him after i get home icon_smile.gif i thought that was sweet of him. I do call him and well he says have sweet dreams.

    Then the next day we text each other good morning and then later he adds that we went to far last night and that even though he enjoyed it we should have contained ourselves. I thought the same thing but well he seemed to be enjoying it while it went on so i didn't say anything either because well dang i enjoyed it too. And now he is a bit distant :s

    So the question of this long scenario is, were we wrong to give into temptation?
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    Jun 03, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    He's a prude who probably feels he did something out of his character. I know because I would do exactly the same thing.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 03, 2010 1:34 AM GMT
    Good things come to those who wait........so says the old saying. But since you've already done the deed, why not just go forward and slow things down a bit (for awhile!) and see how it goes. Let him know you still feel very good about him - and although you went forward a bit faster than planned - - - it's all o.k. and you feel good about where your relationship is going. Don't crowd each other.

    Joke: What does a lesbian bring to her second date?

    A U-HAUL!
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    Jun 03, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    CAJock753 said

    Joke: What does a lesbian bring to her second date?

    A U-HAUL!


    Nice, I've heard the opposite joke,

    Where do gays guys go on their second date?

    WHAT SECOND DATE?
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jun 03, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    That's happened to me a couple of times before, and I was never able to figure it out. If he simply stated that he really enjoyed the sex but wanted to focus on really getting to know you before having sex again, I think that is very reasonable--even downright chivalrous. But if he's distancing himself or blowing you off, then it's his own issue, and you may never be able to get to the bottom of it. When that type of squirrely behavior happens, it's usually a panic response along the lines of "OMG, I just got physically and emotionally close to someone, and I can't handle it!"
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jun 03, 2010 1:44 AM GMT
    What's done is done, I say don't dwell on it or stress over it. You both enjoyed it and you both like each other, so just do what feels right.
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    Jun 03, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    Grimaldi01 saidSo i meet this guy at the gym and we hit it off right away, or so it seems. We text each other everyday and then when we have an actual date both of us are very enthusiastic about it. We both felt nervous and well we set it up. We eat and chat about different things and it turns out we have similar tastes in everything. I meet some of his friends later and we are all cool with each other. Then afterward he asks me to go grocery shopping with him and i agree. Then he asks me to go to his place to watch a movie and well i agree as well. We are there in his room watching the latest madonna concert and we begin to spoon. He caresses my chest and well we take turns on who is spooning who. Then we kiss and well end up having amazing sex. Then we finally spoon and finish watching the 2 hr long concert and we say good bye and he asks me to call him after i get home icon_smile.gif i thought that was sweet of him. I do call him and well he says have sweet dreams.

    Then the next day we text each other good morning and then later he adds that we went to far last night and that even though he enjoyed it we should have contained ourselves. I thought the same thing but well he seemed to be enjoying it while it went on so i didn't say anything either because well dang i enjoyed it too. And now he is a bit distant :s

    So the question of this long scenario is, were we wrong to give into temptation?


    I once met this guy online, didn't seem like a freak or someone just out for sex. We had so much in common, from movies to music to even our career goals. After chatting on skype and being friends on facebook and etc. he invites me to his place. So I decide to go and actually meet in person.

    It went fine, I didn't want to do anything physically because I didn't know how he would react and maybe freak him out. So we just sat on his couch and watched a movie. [it was the Fourth Kind, crap movie to have chosen]. So throughout the movie we don't say anything just watch it, I wanted to just do something, but i controlled myself since I felt he was going to freak him out and make him very uncomfortable..

    Movie ends we talk for a while and than I leave. Text him the next day, nothing, try IM him, nothing.

    Unlike your date nothing happened. At least you were able to actually do something and not just watch a 2 hour movie unlike my "date". And I'm guessing he just doesn't want you to freak out and think that's all he wants is sex, but than again he is distancing himself. If he is still calling you I'd say he's very into you still.

    I don't think you were "to give into temptation." We're humans. Would you have preferred for the opposite to have happened maybe, like my date.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jun 03, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    buddy, that dude is playing games. cut him loose really fast and in a hurry. the next thing he will tell you is that is going throught some things and needs time to work them out.
    dude, do yourself a favor and move on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    The story is not unusual. More and more I get the impression gay relationships get more muddled as to who's doing what/who what the hell IS the relationship with younger generations.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jun 03, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    If you don't feel good about it then there's a good chance it was not a good choice. Certainly nothing wrong with sex on the first date though I think (safe sex I hope for both of you, if not, well shite, but hopefully lesson learned =).

    But. It happened.
    Just invite him on another date and tell him you're bringing your chastity belt with you this time. No reason you can't readjust to a pace you're both happy with. But be firm on the no sex if he start's getting floozy-like again. Sometimes we all need a bit of help in life.
    Go get 'em. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    you were wrong to think of it as a date... whether intended or not, it's a one-night stand. i don't intend for this to sound harsh at all, but to borrow from sex and the city - "he's just not that into you" to try to fix it at this point. you're worth having someone who's into you enough to date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidThe story is not unusual. More and more I get the impression gay relationships get more muddled as to who's doing what/who what the hell IS the relationship with younger generations.


    I didn't even begin attempting sex or oral until 6+ months into our relationship. And even now, we don't do much physically. It's all about how we bounce off each other. I think the idea of a healthy relationship is just all about who makes it. Ours is less physical (even if I want it to be more) and more mental. :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    I think NC3Athlete and onejock have good points.
    I've experienced the wishy-washy behavior of guys before and can relate to your scenario. However, what's done is done.
    Maybe next time you try a different tact, unless, of course, you deep down wanna have that one nighter. It's so hard to gauge what a guy wants, I know, especially when many men are confused about what's a priority for them (relationship and sex, or just sex).

    Best of luck to ya, and hang in there, buddy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    Just another ol fashion "He's just not that into you".

    Some guys have mastered the art of seduction and then they leave.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    Aggieboy, said, "Some guys have mastered the art of seduction and then they leave."

    ...quoted for truth.
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    Jun 04, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
    icon_smile.gif thank you guys. Well I think it was "he's just not into me" lol oh well like the show on MTV, "NEXT =>"

    Alas there are a lot more fish in the sea
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    been there done that! No commenticon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2010 9:45 PM GMT
    Well i always look forward to new things anyways. Plus i stopped texting him and now he is texting me lol people are complicated :s
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
    Grimaldi01 said...So the question of this long scenario is, were we wrong to give into temptation?

    What temptation? The natural urge to have sex? In my view it's only temptation if it's forbidden to one or both of you. Are you or him already taken? Do you both accept your gayness without guilt or regret, without applying arbitrary conventions about what 2 consenting adults can do together? Answer no twice, and that's no temptation.

    I don't understand this unless I know where the temptation originates, of what it consists. To me it sounded like a great night.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jun 04, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    Grimaldi01 saidWell i always look forward to new things anyways. Plus i stopped texting him and now he is texting me lol people are complicated :s


    This happened to me as well. The guy was somewhat upset that although we hit it off well and had a great date and great night together, he felt it should have never gone further than just flirting. I found out later while we were still dating he was just really worried it was some sort of omen and that I always hop in bed with a guy on the first date. Of course nothing could be further from the truth but sometimes the dating rules can be broken for the right guy.

    I still remember that first date too. One of the best I've ever had. There were fireworks, literally.....it was the 4th of July weekend.