first time..

  • ryan335

    Posts: 3

    Jun 05, 2010 10:34 PM GMT
    hey fellas, im 21 years old, good looking and athletic.
    I try to be very discreet, which is why i dont have pictures posted, but its coming to the point now where i really do want to get involved and have some fun. Its been hard to try to find decent guys for my first time, and it doesnt help that i dont approach anyone. I really would like to get an attractive, clean guy to have some fun with. Where do you guys find your buddies? Any advice on my first time with a guy?
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Jun 06, 2010 12:02 AM GMT
    I know how you feel. I have the same.

    Guess the advice ur gonna get here is

    I: Come out and be comfortable with yourself.
    II: manhunt/craiglist or w/e

    Both are not the options we are looking for,
    but I guess it is the right advice...
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jun 06, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    Yeah, he's right. It all depends on if you are looking for random sex, or a relationship. You can probably see that either way, you are going to have to start approaching people. You could always find and join a local gay organization in Johnstown.
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    Jun 06, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    mmm, MH if you want a guarantee that they are gay. But huge creep factor to that site.

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    Jun 06, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    Just look at who is checking you out at the gym. Gyms are disproportionately gay, everywhere.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    Get a group of gay friends, let them know that you are looking for guys to date and let them make some introductions for you.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    he's not out, not out means no gay friends. make a friend on here, Im sure you'll find some volunteers to help you out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    Public pics or you're really a troll. (Appearance.) icon_wink.gif

    If someone you know comes across your profile chances are that they're gay too or at least gay-friendly.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    sdgman saidJust look at who is checking you out at the gym. Gyms are disproportionately gay, everywhere.
    There is definitely some truth to that. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    A1EX saidPublic pics or you're really a troll. (Appearance.) icon_wink.gif


    Joking aside, lack of a profile pic definitely influences the willingness of RJ'ers to take a member seriously.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    sdgman saidJust look at who is checking you out at the gym. Gyms are disproportionately gay, everywhere.
    There is definitely some truth to that. icon_wink.gif


    really? this hasnt held true in my experience thus far...
    Damn, maybe i need to get involved at the right gym haha
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 06, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    Forget about meeting a guy, and just go about doing the things you enjoy. Gay guys are all around you, at the art gallery, or antique market, or volunteering at the food bank. They're the ones who smile and look into your eyes when you glance at them. Your boyfriend is out there. You just have to be out there too, being obvious so he knows you're available.
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    rug12ds said
    paulflexes said
    sdgman saidJust look at who is checking you out at the gym. Gyms are disproportionately gay, everywhere.
    There is definitely some truth to that. icon_wink.gif


    really? this hasnt held true in my experience thus far...
    Damn, maybe i need to get involved at the right gym haha
    Or improve your gaydar.
    The majority of gay guys at the gym are going to be very masculine, and they might be only taking little peeks at you instead of gazing. You gotta notice the little things and watch for body language. Once you learn most of the subtle signs, you'll realize there are lots of gay guys in gyms. Most of them are the buffest ones. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    Maybe u should bust a move for the fellas

    GO'N GO HED WIT YO BAD SELF





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    Jun 06, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    bboi saidMaybe u should bust a move for the fellas

    GO'N GO HED WIT YO BAD SELF







    AHAHAHAHAHAHA! That'll DEF make you popular. On Amateur Twink Night especially. icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    sashaman saidGet a group of gay friends, let them know that you are looking for guys to date and let them make some introductions for you.


    While this ISn't a horrible idea, and yes I understand you're not out so it could be hard to find anyway, I've never met a NEW group of gay guys who didn't try and toss me around.

    There's gotta be SOMEONE in everybody's life who either already knows, and Wants you to tell them, or you can trust to understand that you need to talk and will keep it a secret.

    (i.e. it's VERY exciting for girl friends/sister-in-laws/co-ed co-workers who have tried on you to find out that there's nothing wrong with your game, you're just Gay!)

    As far as guy friends, if they can't take it (after a grace period), they can't stay your friend. A real straight guy won't be threatened, but a small amount of discomfort at first is to be expected.

    If I didn't find one at the fag bar, I Def woulda tried on like minded fellows at the gym.

    Good luck.
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    Jun 06, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    You gotta be comfortable with yourself first before you become comfortable with another person.

    That being said, are you looking for someone to just pop your cherry ('cause there might be some very willing people here on RJ) or are you looking for someone special you can share that first time with?

    When I became comfortable with myself, I pushed my comfort level outwards a level and joined the local gay volleyball team and various gay groups here in the South Bay and that increased my exposure. I met lots of cool bros and it just made it worth it. Plus, you learn about your potentials before you do them.

    Your first time will be a nervous experience - you won't know what to expect. Some people pigeonhole their preference before they even get to it. I pigeonholed myself as the bottom (and sure, I've earned the title of a powerbottom), but it's not the be all and end all - you gotta learn to be flexible (no pun intended) and willing to try things out. Try to guage if the guy you're interested in is just the pump and dump type or if they're the sensual, erotic, love-making type. The latter are the best because you can feel every sensation as he's going in and out and. . .excuse me icon_redface.gif

    Oh, and size doesn't matter the first time. A lot of people will tell you otherwise, but my first time involved a man who was 6-5 (and I'm only 5-4; it was like a great dane mounting a Chihuahua) with a 9 x 6 wang (I measured). That shit fucking hurt. But, luckily, he was sensual and erotic and totally made the experience worthwhile (of course where it took place is a WHOLE 'nother story. . .). If you're the bottom, a good top will watch you and focus his attention on you. It takes a lot of trust to be a bottom and a good top knows/understands that so he shouldn't go fast until you're primed and ready. And don't forget the lube and condoms. I know it's silly to have to remind people, but speaking from experience, it's much more pleasant with them than without.
  • ryan335

    Posts: 3

    Jun 07, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    thanks for all the good advice. i appreciate the reply. i think im too young for a serious relationship, but after twenty years of not much action im looking for fun. id be willing to talk to any of you guys on AIM or wherever. and i really do appreciate the helpful advice on the subject.