As an MT, do you lose interest in sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2008 8:30 PM GMT
    I'm not an LMP yet because I'm still in school, but lately I've been experiencing something "funny." I have a friend who is an LMP. I gave him a massage this past Tuesday, and I had a pretty funny conversation with him afterwards. This is what I told him,

    "I don't know who to talk to, but I've been having some weird feelings lately, and I'm so confused. I have no sexual attraction towards women, and I don't think I'm gonna start dating them either. However, I've been losing interest in men. I still find them attractive, but I don't want to have sex with them either. I think I'm losing interest in sex."

    He told me that it happens, and that when it happens that I should take a break from massage. What I would like to know is has this happened to other MTs, and how do you deal with it?
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    Feb 09, 2008 6:08 PM GMT
    What kind of massage are you doing?

    I see both males and females of all ages for theraputic massage. (nothing sexual) I also have a boyfriend with a very high sex drive and I am extremly turned on due to the fact, that he wants me all the time. He happens to be 10 years younger then me.

    I also think that because I am in a very loving relationship, it makes me a better therapist. Also, my sex life is very active and also satisfying (at least twice and sometimes 4 times a day) I have no interest in anyone else.


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    Feb 11, 2008 4:30 AM GMT
    Well, I'm doing the usual Swedish and Deep Tissue. Right now I'm learning treatment work. I don't do any erotic work, and I'm not planning on doing it when I'm done with school. When my friend said that it's normal to lose interest in sex it made me feel better for a while. It lifted me out of my funk, but it didn't last long. I knew that my losing interest wasn't just because I was doing massage.

    I took a look at myself, and decided to evaluate my feelings. I took a hard look at my sex life, and my attitude towards it. Last year, my resolutions for the new year were 1) No dating unless I feel that we connect on some level and 2) No sex unless I'm in a relationship. I managed to keep my first resolution, but not my second. I have a fuck buddy, and it's something that I'm not proud of. I feel as though sometimes I allow my lust to control me, and it got me thinking.

    First, I looked at my interest in anal sex. Normally, I would bottom, but since I've met my fuck buddy, I top only. I've lost all interest in bottoming, and I have no real interest in topping. The only reason I have anal sex is because my friend wants me to top. When it happens I'm totally disconnected. What makes it worse is that he looks forward to our times together, but I can't reciprocate his enthusiasm.

    I've come to the realization and acceptance of the fact that I have no interest in sex, that I don't want to be touched. When I first started school, it frustrated me that we would have to do massage exchanges. I love giving massages, but I didn't want to receive them. I still feel the same way, but I will get work done on me when I know that I need it. I work in my school's student clinic now, and I've had nothing but positive feedback. My clients love my energy, and I've had the most requests thus far. I've also been offered two jobs. I should be happy, but I'm just confused right now.
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    Feb 12, 2008 12:06 AM GMT
    Hi,

    I think you should talk to someone on a professional level. It may have nothing to do with massage. I know that with clients and the fact that I have worked on hundreds of different people all areas of the body are "just another" body part.

    I think if I was doing sensual massage, I would not have the same sexual intensity with my boyfriend as I do now. I feel that sex bewteen 2 people is a sacred and special.

    I love recieving a massages and make it a point to go on a bi-monthly basis.

    Good luck!
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    Feb 12, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
    rksportswear said

    I think you should talk to someone on a professional level. It may have nothing to do with massage. I know that with clients and the fact that I have worked on hundreds of different people all areas of the body are "just another" body part.

    I think if I was doing sensual massage, I would not have the same sexual intensity with my boyfriend as I do now. I feel that sex between 2 people is a sacred and special.




    I feel the same way when I give massages. I think of it as another body. No big deal. I also feel that sex between two people is sacred as well. Which is why I don't do one night stands, and that's the main reason I feel so disconnected when having sex, and it's purely lust based.

    There are two reasons I feel that I have a lack of interest in sex. Right now, I feel that my lack of interest in sex is due to the stress that I'm feeling because of school If it doesn't go away when I'm done with school, then I will seek professional help. Also, my dissatisfaction with the "gay community" has made me withdraw from the gay scene. My whole attitude about being gay has changed within the past two years. When I was younger my belief about myself was that I was a gay man. I defined myself based on my sexuality. Now my belief is that I'm a man who just happens to like men, and my sexuality doesn't define me. It took me a while to admit that to myself, but it is what it is.

    I thank you for the encouraging words.

  • Kevin82

    Posts: 273

    Feb 22, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
    I have been a therapit now for 5 years and have never experienced this or heard of this before. I have scene and felt people be uncomfortable with receiving massage, be it that they don't feel they deserve to feel good or they have some past trauma involving physical or emotional abuse and have yet discovered how to distinguish between safe, loving, therapeutic touch and the trauma from their past. There is an enormous amount of trust involved in overcoming this.
    As a therapist I know how important it is to work on yourself as much as others and believe it to be a vital part of learning.
    I am not a psychologist or anything like that but from my own experience when something triggers an uncomfortable emotion I like to put myself in that situation as often as possible to first figure out what is causing my discomfort and second to hopefully resolve it.
    Wishing you the best of luck with this.
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    Apr 14, 2008 4:49 PM GMT
    It could also have nothing to do with the massage itself. Often times I go through periods where I want nothing to do with sex or men, dating, anything. It's just taking a hiatus from it all to spend time focusing on me and what "I" need.

    One thing about massage that I know from receiving them, is that there is an energy exchange. Whether you know it or not, being in that close proximity of someone for that length of time, you're going to be exchanging energy with that person, just as if you were having sex with them.

    For some, it's an energizing experience, others it can be completely draining.

    Personally, I wouldn't make too much of it. I know several guys who just lose interest in sex once in a while...it always comes back though, trust me *grin*.
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    Apr 14, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
    Sometimes I'd rather have chocolate than sex.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2008 6:58 PM GMT
    Mmmm, a really good DARK chocolate =)
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    Apr 16, 2008 8:35 PM GMT
    I remember when I was in Massage school I tended to focus on the body in all of its non-sexual glory. Partially because I was so fascinated by the way things worked and partially because I had little energy for anything else since I was going to school and working.

    Once life calmed down and my hands weren't satisfying me, I got over it and separated massage from life. I do therapy so when I'm working on people, I'm focused on the body for working on fascial adhesions, stretching, lymphatic drainage and trying to help the patient get rid of pain. However, I turn off work mode (unless I see someone moving outside of the norm body functions) and allow myself to lust a little if I see someone attractive.