Do you believe in love and soul mate?

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    Jun 06, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    It's been a long time since I imagined myself being with my ex forever (I know, lame.)

    But for those who are in a LTR, have you faced any problem, difficulty or whatever that is you had to overcome in order to have a great relationship with your current partner? Do you feel like he's the one?

    Someone told me that whoever's going to end up with me will be so lucky, but the problem is he's not here yet. lol So, I want to hear your stories!
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    Jun 06, 2010 6:20 AM GMT
    "problem, difficulty or whatever" heheh, it wouldn't be life without them. We think it all depends on how much you consider the value of your partner over the problem or difficulty, and it has to be reciprocal.

    -Doug and Bill
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    Jun 06, 2010 12:45 PM GMT
    I got to met mine and have his love for almost 11 years, until he was murded in a terrorist act; gone to soon. But I've been with me companion for 20 years now. But can we ever have more than one, more than one soul mate? I feel that would be greedy to behold that expectation, after being so blessed with my one.
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    Jun 06, 2010 12:50 PM GMT
    I thought I did, however as I approach being 10 years & single, I am loosing faith in all of "that".
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:06 PM GMT
    I don't know... Let's just say I am willing to believe.
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    Jun 06, 2010 1:12 PM GMT
    I don't really believe in the whole "promise forever thing" because each of us and all the world around us change. Rather than worry about "forever," far better to make today as good as possible.

    Then, one day, if you've done it right, you will have a forever that is a consequence of great todays, with someone else or not. Also, focusing on today forces you to really earn one another every single day.

  • gymlocker

    Posts: 159

    Jun 06, 2010 1:38 PM GMT
    I'm over 50. I've had four relationships, all with people that I loved for different reasons and for being unique. But I found that I wanted to change them into the guy that I was looking for, and that's near to impossible. At this point in my life, I know what I want, and I expect to find it, or accept being alone. As I got older, I found that I was less willing to tolerate some behaviors. I was just about to give up, and relegate myself to being single for the remainder, figuring that I had had my chances. Then, I met a guy, or rather he met me by contacting me out of the blue. As we've gotten to know each other, I think that I may have finally found the best guy for me, as I begin my fifth and best relationship. Life is like a school. Every day brings a new lesson to be learned, or ignored. Pay attention to those lessons. They will show you the way to love and be loved.
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:46 PM GMT
    dsato17 saidIt's been a long time since I imagined myself being with my ex forever (I know, lame.)

    But for those who are in a LTR, have you faced any problem, difficulty or whatever that is you had to overcome in order to have a great relationship with your current partner? Do you feel like he's the one?

    Someone told me that whoever's going to end up with me will be so lucky, but the problem is he's not here yet. lol So, I want to hear your stories!


    I've been in a relationship for over ten years. Things aren't perfect but I love my partner, have no doubt he loves me, and we are each others best friend. I feel he is "the one". The relationship is a process and when issues come up the key is to keep lines of commnication open. I think for most people, myself included, it's unrelalistic to expect to get 100% of what you need from one person. But if you find someone who can be your rock it can make all the difference.
  • rafiki87

    Posts: 331

    Jun 06, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Nearly two years ago, I met this one guy at a party, we talked, then he asked me out for dinner, then I asked him out on a romantic date and fast forward to now, we live together and are starting to build our lives around each other.

    When I first met him, my thought process was never on finding my soul mate. I just wanted to get to know him more as a person because he seemed to be an awesome guy. He's my age, likes going to the gym and has a big heart in general.

    I know many would argue that our situation is not the best considering how we are both still young, unsure of ourselves and needing to grow up a bit more; oh the follies of youth.

    In the span of being together, we've faced many challenges which a lot of relationships have broken down over. Examples of which are: moving to a new city all together, an extremely time-consuming job leaving very little us time, being broke and underemployed (oh the student life),bouts with depression and possible suicide (on my part), meeting the significant other's parents and family (one set turned out well, the other not so and I have this weird vibe that his mom wants us apart but just wouldn't want to say it directly). Those are the big ones I could think of...

    Right now, we're working on communication issues - I don't like to talk about things that put me in a bad light and so I end up keeping secrets. This habit has caused me to break my partners trust. Bit by bit, we're making progress. I understand that it's not going to be instantaneous.

    On top of that, we're also apart for the next 12 weeks because of his military training. When we're apart for trips and such, we call each other everyday while we're apart. Now, we only get to talk to each other once a week.

    To answer dsato17's question...

    YES, I've faced and am constantly facing problems and difficulties in order to keep this amazing relationship going. The way I see it, the more fulfilling the relationship, the greater the price you have to pay and the currency is in overcoming obstacles.

    If we did not feel like the other is the one, then we wouldn't put ourselves through this strain now would we?





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    Yes, I believe in love.

    Yes, I believe that we can find a soul mate.

    All the literature and all of my friends and family that have successfully done so, say the same unifying theme, but in various ways -

    You have to be able to grow with the person with whom you are ready to walk the world.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 06, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    I believe in love, but not in the way it's been distorted in society. I also believe you can love many people in many ways. And no, I don't believe in a soul mate... consider how mathematically most people's soul mates would have to live in China and India if such a concept were true.
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    Jun 06, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    I believe there's not just one person out there, but one of many who could become my soulmate.
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    Jun 06, 2010 5:42 PM GMT
    I believe two people can successfully merge into a systemically functioning unit.

    Ain't I a sap.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Jun 06, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    oh yes and yes!

    my parents are proof of that: 38 years
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jun 06, 2010 5:49 PM GMT
    I believe in love and soul mate(s). But the whole "one person for everyone" thing is kind of far-fetched. Like Calibro said, the odds of encountering one person out of the billions on the planet are pretty low.

    My opinion is, depending on the timing, willingness, chemistry, etc., anyone can transition into a great love. It may or may not be forever, but that's just natural.

    Soul mates are trickier. A little rarer than loves. And they can totally be platonic. An inexplicable connection with someone right off the bat.
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    Jun 06, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    I believe in true love and soulmates but not everybody has one to be fair.
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    Jun 06, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidI believe in love and soul mate(s). But the whole "one person for everyone" thing is kind of far-fetched. Like Calibro said, the odds of encountering one person out of the billions on the planet are pretty low.

    My opinion is, depending on the timing, willingness, chemistry, etc., anyone can transition into a great love. It may or may not be forever, but that's just natural.

    Soul mates are trickier. A little rarer than loves. And they can totally be platonic. An inexplicable connection with someone right off the bat.


    I agree with the last part...been finding my kindred souls in straight men. They are the brothers I wish I had in my family!
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Jun 06, 2010 6:08 PM GMT
    I believe in love and soul mates but I think those are things you work your ass off for and earn over time. I don't believe in "The One," that mythical creature that has been forged by Heaven just for You. I think the divorce rate is over 50% because people think a relationship is easy to maintain and that it's all about how they feel. Relationships are like gardens -- they have to be tended and nurtured in order to grow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    love yes. "Soulmates" or "the one", NO
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    Jun 06, 2010 6:22 PM GMT
    'romantic love' and 'the one' are myths (please refer to 'the road less traveled' for a primer). but i strongly believe in love as a choice. love is an action, a verb. it is created and nurtured consciously, and in spite of all the things that would kill it within a relationship. finding 'one' person to love (and then doing it with all your heart) is the goal.
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    Jun 06, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    diverboi saidNearly two years ago, I met this one guy at a party, we talked, then he asked me out for dinner, then I asked him out on a romantic date and fast forward to now, we live together and are starting to build our lives around each other.

    When I first met him, my thought process was never on finding my soul mate. I just wanted to get to know him more as a person because he seemed to be an awesome guy. He's my age, likes going to the gym and has a big heart in general.

    I know many would argue that our situation is not the best considering how we are both still young, unsure of ourselves and needing to grow up a bit more; oh the follies of youth.

    In the span of being together, we've faced many challenges which a lot of relationships have broken down over. Examples of which are: moving to a new city all together, an extremely time-consuming job leaving very little us time, being broke and underemployed (oh the student life),bouts with depression and possible suicide (on my part), meeting the significant other's parents and family (one set turned out well, the other not so and I have this weird vibe that his mom wants us apart but just wouldn't want to say it directly). Those are the big ones I could think of...

    Right now, we're working on communication issues - I don't like to talk about things that put me in a bad light and so I end up keeping secrets. This habit has caused me to break my partners trust. Bit by bit, we're making progress. I understand that it's not going to be instantaneous.

    On top of that, we're also apart for the next 12 weeks because of his military training. When we're apart for trips and such, we call each other everyday while we're apart. Now, we only get to talk to each other once a week.

    To answer dsato17's question...

    YES, I've faced and am constantly facing problems and difficulties in order to keep this amazing relationship going. The way I see it, the more fulfilling the relationship, the greater the price you have to pay and the currency is in overcoming obstacles.

    If we did not feel like the other is the one, then we wouldn't put ourselves through this strain now would we?







    Aww that's sweet.
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    Jun 06, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    cdnmel saidMy story is fucked up but i still beleive in love. That moment when you are laying in bed they are sleeping or you just woke up and you are like. WOW I LOVE YOU. and you realize how much it is. its amazing

    my fucked up story is. I met a american marine while serving in afgan in 07. we have been on and off again for 3 years. He lives away i live here in canada we recently decided it was to hard and we arent moving on in our lives. So we have moved on. I though we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together but we arent. it took me a while to realize it was ok. He is an AMAZING AMAZING MAN, everything you would ever want. But just not right for me.

    All the fights and screaming were horrible, But the moments we spent together sitting under a tree reading... just being there, or laying on the beach watching him walk out of the water and walk over and kiss me... were more than enough to make me happy about it for the rest of my life. So yes i guess i do beleive in love and soul mates. Also beleive it takes a long time, and you have to get at that point in your life where it may even be able to work for you.


    I know the feeling. When I was watching my ex still asleep in my bed, he looked like a little puppy and made me go aww, but we ended bad. Then we sort of calmed down finally, and I accepted that we weren't meant for each other. It's hard though!
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    Jun 06, 2010 8:06 PM GMT
    I look at some of these replies and I feel so blessed.
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    Jun 06, 2010 8:13 PM GMT
    jlly_rnchr saidI believe in love and soul mate(s). But the whole "one person for everyone" thing is kind of far-fetched. Like Calibro said, the odds of encountering one person out of the billions on the planet are pretty low.

    My opinion is, depending on the timing, willingness, chemistry, etc., anyone can transition into a great love. It may or may not be forever, but that's just natural.

    Soul mates are trickier. A little rarer than loves. And they can totally be platonic. An inexplicable connection with someone right off the bat.


    Totally agree!
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    Jun 06, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    I believe in love. I don't believe in soul mates