texting

  • fitone

    Posts: 276

    Jun 06, 2010 1:42 PM GMT
    I hosted a dinner party last night. One of my guests kept texting while at the table during dinner, even after I told him to stop it. He won't be receiving another invitation from me!

    Can anyone defend this rude behavior!
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:41 PM GMT
    Yeah, I'll defend it. It's incredibly rude. By inviting him, you've told him that you would like his company at your dinner party. By him texting throughout the whole thing, he's basically told you that what's going on in front of him isn't as important as the conversation he was having on the phone. That's insulting and you're totally in the right to be pissed at him for it.
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:53 PM GMT
    deon8404 said...That's insulting and you're totally in the right to be pissed at him for it.

    Yep, agree completely. And since this sounds like a private dinner party in a home, it is doubly insulting, worse than when someone does it with you in a restaurant or at a bar, often during their business day.

    I can understand if someone is expecting an urgent message, in which case you tell your host, or dinner/drinking companions, and request their indulgence beforehand. But even then you only take the call, usually away from the group in private, being as brief as possible. You NEVER sit there texting continuously. If it's that important, send your regrets and don't come at all, or have your messages forwarded to a colleague, or something, ANYTHING but talking on the cell or texting in front of others at such a function. icon_mad.gif
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    Jun 06, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    One word - disrespectful.
  • tbrn3

    Posts: 1

    Jun 09, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    An incredibly rude person who should only go out to dinner through the drive- in window at McDonald's
  • Link27

    Posts: 136

    Jun 09, 2010 5:20 PM GMT
    There's nothing to say to defend him. It shows that other people are more important than you as well. I have a friend who takes out her cell phone while were at dinner to check her damn facebook and other websites - I always grab the phone from her until she gets the message. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jun 09, 2010 5:26 PM GMT
    The whole texting thing is getting WAY out of hand. I know people who have separation anxiety if they are away from their phone for 5 minutes.
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    Jun 09, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    I Agree - It is just tacky, in poor taste, and downright rude! Whats worse is people that walk in to your place of business on the phone and don't even acknowledge you when you say hello. icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 09, 2010 6:00 PM GMT
    I found the best way to get them to stop is to ask them who they are talking to and get all up there business.
    What are you talking about?
    Tell them I said hi.
    Can I talk to them too?
    Make the person on the other end seem more important to you than the one in front of you...funny how soon they stop.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jun 09, 2010 6:33 PM GMT
    I'm going to disagree on this one. He should have left the table or have been asked to leave the table to do his txting. But now that txting is here in our world it can't just disappear.

    If your child was sick at home are you not going to take a txt or are you going to turn off your cell phone just for a stuffy formal dinner? Fuck that. If another person that was asked to the dinner can't find the place do you not take the text? I would want to help. If your dog is home having puppies and your roommate is giving you an update that everything is going ok don't you want to know so you aren't worrying the whole evening? If you are basically "on call" for your job and they think they own your ass will you just ignore your bosses txts? If a friend is in the hospital after his appendix burst and wants to know how everyone is doing and how the dinner is going wouldn't you want to give him an update? If your lover is on a flight and wants to let you know he made his destination in one piece isn't that more important than some pretentious haughty dinner where you have to pretend life is not happening? Fuck yeah.

    Obviously the formal dinner with a bunch of uptight queen bees doesn't sound appealing at all to me.
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    Jun 09, 2010 7:41 PM GMT
    I've never had anyone use those reasons you gave, Celticmusl. If the guest had those reasons, he could have said so up front. If someone said gave me any of those reasons I would be fine with it.

    If I'm doing something with a friend or friends, they are my top priority. If I am expecting an important call or text message, I will let them know but otherwise I keep my phone silent or on vibrate.

    We had a friend over for dinner one night and she spent most of the evening texting and updating Facebook. She brought over dessert so we made coffee and sat down to eat it in the kitchen but she wouldn't leave her phone alone and stayed in the living room and didn't touch her dessert. Then we couldn't get her to leave when we were tired. My partner told her he had to get up early and that we needed to wrap up but she kept saying she needed finish her responses. He even started turning off all of the lights and went into the bedroom and started getting ready for bed...as she continued to spend time on Facebook.

    We have another friend who used to spends all of his time with us texting guys, but fortunately he's dating someone now and doesn't do it that much.

    I still remember the days when we didn't even have answering machines, yet somehow society survived.
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    Jun 09, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    We have a table in our entry hall where dinner guests leave their car keys and cell phones. Occasionally, when someone is "on call" or expecting important news, they keep their phones with them. Celticmusl's example of a friend calling from a hospital bed to find out how the dinner is going can wait until the end of the dinner to find out.
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    Jun 09, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    There's really no excuse to be texting away at some sort of social gathering where people expect your attention. Most of the time whatever you're texting about is nothing important. If it's that important, the least the guests can do is excuse themselves or leave if they have to.

    Don't get me started on people who text and drive, though. Ugh!
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jun 09, 2010 8:56 PM GMT
    I invited a group of friends to join me at a beach house I was given the run of for a long weekend. The house is at a private island, surrounded by a beautiful, non-commercialized beach, and has a swimming pool, and the weather was perfect.

    It was perplexing to me that some of them were so CONSUMED with checking their iPhones for messages, updating Facebook, or (most likely) looking at Manhunt profiles to the point that they barely went outside. Even worse, however, was that none of them could pull themselves away long enough to participate in communal dinner efforts or the subsequent clean up.

    It struck me how some people are so addicted to being "connected", even at the expense of being present and in the moment. It's either hugely narcissistic or a sign of deep insecurity, in my opinion.
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    Jun 09, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    It's pretty much addictive behavior. It's almost like the guy who drinks two bottles of wine at dinner while everyone has a glass or two. I know people who would definitely meet criterion for cell phone abuse or dependence criterion which includes use in physically hazardous situations, social or recreational loss, more time spent seeking or using, obsession/preoccupation, consequences at work or school because of cell phone use, etc.

    The updating facebook or twittering always makes me laugh. It's like, "you didn't do anything asshole. You just messed with your phone while the rest of us had fun."
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Jun 09, 2010 10:01 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidThe whole texting thing is getting WAY out of hand. I know people who have separation anxiety if they are away from their phone for 5 minutes.


    I could not agree more with this statement. The obsession over texting has gone from annoying to infuriating to downright insane. I have actually threatened my friends cell phones with my ball peen hammer if they did not stop texting during a recent housewarming party.

    Text messaging is OK sometimes, but not for entire conversations and not when you are a guest in someone else's home. I leave my cell phone at home more than I take it with me a lot of the time.

    (A) Nobody's so "important" that they need to be in constant communication with their BFF's....like OMG... (me included) at the expense of good manners.

    (B) There are times I don't want to be interrupted by anything less than a tsunami, armageddon or a visit from the tooth fairy.

    (C) My goal is to become so wealthy that I become like Howard Hughes and am never available to anyone via telephone - ever... come to think of it, I don't need money to do that - just a knowledge of where the "off" button is on the damn thing.

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    Jun 09, 2010 10:02 PM GMT
    i hate txting, if sum1 txts too much on a date its off, i went on a date where the guy txted the whole time and then txted the whole tiem we went to the movies. its not only annoying and rude but embarrassing at the movies
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    Jun 09, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    Constant texting at a dinner party = rude.

    PS. I often have moments (or days) where I wish cell phones were a thing of the past. Having a cell, and being in constant contact (with work), is the #1 cause of my stress. I can't get a free minute to do anything without receiving a text or phone call from work that changes my plans in an instant. Many times considered throwing the cell down on concrete as hard as I can, and canceling the account...but the job requires it.