Top/Bottom/Versatile - nature or nuture?

  • seven_deadly_...

    Posts: 104

    Jun 06, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    There have been a couple of recent threads about being top, bottom, or versatile and I'm wondering whether people think this particular aspect of sexual desire is hard-wired or learned. Also, I realize that not all gay men are into butt sex, so this question is primarily directed at those of use who are.

    Personally, if I'm having anal sex, I prefer to be the receptive partner. I'd rather be more versatile, but I feel strongly oriented toward receiving, although in my case I expect that's more psychological than anything else. I think that with the right partner I could probably become more versatile.

    What are your thoughts?
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    Jun 11, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    The person on the recieving end usually has a more intense experience (depends on the top)
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    Jun 11, 2010 4:13 PM GMT
    Everyone's body is wired differently. Nerve sensitivity and pleasure receptors can vary to a certain degree enough to yield an almost infinite amount of variations from guy to guy, which is why we see that different people get off differently--e.g. licking the meatus (the slit at the top of the glans) can be extremely pleasurable for some and unbearably uncomfortable for others.

    At the same time, however, there can be a psychological drive for some to top or bottom or be versatile. E.g. a guy who is a "top" is in a relationship with a "bottom"/"vers" develops such a desire for his partner that he wants to bottom.

    Long story short (...too late...), it's a complex issue that most likely involves a healthy combination of both nature and nurture.
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    Jun 11, 2010 4:20 PM GMT
    It seems a lot of guys are just wired to be one or the other with plenty being versatile and many not into anal at all. My thoughts are to give everything at least a try and then, if you don't like it, you know it just isn't for you.
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    Jun 11, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    My feeling is that it's hard-wired. I've never even fantasized about being a top. Never had a wet dream where I was a top. Have no desire to top. It's been that way since puberty. Way before I had even experienced any kind of sex with another person. I get much more pleasure from my anus than my penis. I'd rather have a rim job than a blow job. So, for me at least, it seems hard-wired.
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    Jun 11, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    I'm not even totally sure that sexual orientation is literally hard-wired, but I don't think top-bottom is as hard-wired as orientation. I've become more vers over time.
  • DanielQQ

    Posts: 365

    Jun 11, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    i definitely think it's psychological, because for me it relies entirely on my mood, on who i'm with, etc.

    in fact, i'll take it a step further and say that i think that believing it's "hard-wired" is a cop-out. Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If some guy refused to fuck me and claimed he wasn't "hard-wired" that way, i'd laugh in his face and probably assume that he is seriously lacking some internal locus of control.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Jun 11, 2010 9:08 PM GMT

    I think it's's kind like the same as being Gay cause even some of the most Masculins Guys can be a Bottom icon_biggrin.gif