why do people think we "chose" to be gay/bi??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2010 10:25 PM GMT
    I mean. why the hell would i pick the harder route in life? gays aren't excepted everywhere. If i could choose i would be straight. ... just because a few people say a girl/guy did them wrong so now they are going for the same sex doesn't mean everyone did that... idk I just been thinking about that lately. share any thoughts? =P
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    Jun 07, 2010 10:34 PM GMT
    Welcome to RJ. I hope you'll enjoy your time on here.

    to your questions: If Gay is a choice they don't need to give us rights. These folks are so self-centered, they think we became gay, just to piss them of.

    Never heard a gay man say, that he turned gay due to a bad experience with a girl. I would think it is a lie. As for me, I was never attracted to women, have no experience with them.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2929

    Jun 07, 2010 10:35 PM GMT
    If I could choose, I'd still be gay; it's helped me to learn so much.

    But I think people think it's somehow a choice, because they can't imagine being gay - it seems unnatural to them, so it "must" be a choice.

    Hang in there - I've got a lot of good, solid gay friends now, and it's made life a lot easier.
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    Jun 07, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    yea well. their naturally straight.... i just figured they wont understand what they aren't and you only understand if you are :T
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14310

    Jun 07, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    People who think that we choose to be gay obviously have a very primitive mindset. They have never made an honest effort to learn the scientific facts about life and sexuality. Instead they continue to believe all their ridiculous stereotypes and ancient, fairy tale based taboos against gays and lesbians.
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    Jun 07, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    bernd saidWelcome to RJ. I hope you'll enjoy your time on here.

    to your questions: If Gay is a choice they don't need to give us rights. These folks are so self-centered, they think we became gay, just to piss them of.

    Never heard a gay man say, that he turned gay due to a bad experience with a girl. I would think it is a lie. As for me, I was never attracted to women, have no experience with them.

    well some people blame it on that now days. tis why they think some chose it.
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    Jun 07, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidPeople who think that we choose to be gay obviously have a very primitive mindset. They have never made an honest effort to learn the scientific facts about life and sexuality. Instead they continue to believe all their ridiculous stereotypes and ancient, fairy tale based taboos against gays and lesbians.

    preach it. agreed!!! =D
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    Jun 07, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    Percentage wise gays are in the minority. Does anyone know what the percentage is? If it was a choice, it would probably be more evenly split between gays and str8s. It's kind of like being left handed. Not many people are born left handed and they don't choose to be left handed. The desires within you which come uninvited determine your sexual orientation, whether it is gay, str8, or bi. The desires that just come to you without a choice determine this and these desires will keep coming to you until the day you die. A person can control his actions, but he can't control these desires entering him.

    My foot fetish is the same way. Did I choose to have a foot fetish? lol No way. Those desires just come and I can't change those desires.

    Although I am bisexual, I have been able to restrain myself and not have sex with men, since I am married and wouldn't be right. But it's not easy and I have screwed up a few times and my wife knows it, but she understands how hard it is for me when you have sexual desires for both sexes and she doesn't interpret this that I don't love her because she knows I do. That's why she don't mind me being on here because she knows it helps me with my bisexuality. It's really a handicap, but I've adjusted to it very well and feel real good about myself. My Christian faith also helps me a lot with my orientation because believe me it's not easy when you have both of these desires. And the support I get from RJ with my orientation is great.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jun 07, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    If it was a choice.... I probably would have been straight. That said, this is only if it were a choice from day one. Now that I've lived my life the way I have, had these experiences and become who I am, I wouldn't change it. I would, however, like to change how other people perceive it. I have no shame in being gay, I'm ashamed that a good deal of my fellow human beings are so ridiculous about it.


    The "I used to date girls but had a bad experience" thing has a lot of different causes.
    People say that when they don't want to explain "why" they're gay because they have no idea how to.
    They may, in fact, have been bisexual and decided that girls just didn't do it for them.
    They might be some brain-washed jackass trying to prove that it's a choice, though usually that type of jackass follows it up with "I'm trying to get better through Jesus" or some similar horseshit.
    Sometimes people just want to be accepted, saying they used to date girls makes them seem less "alien" to others in their opinions.
    Some people are just fricking weird.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    mcwclewis saidIf it was a choice.... I probably would have been straight. That said, this is only if it were a choice from day one. Now that I've lived my life the way I have, had these experiences and become who I am, I wouldn't change it. I would, however, like to change how other people perceive it. I have no shame in being gay, I'm ashamed that a good deal of my fellow human beings are so ridiculous about it.


    The "I used to date girls but had a bad experience" thing has a lot of different causes.
    People say that when they don't want to explain "why" they're gay because they have no idea how to.
    They may, in fact, have been bisexual and decided that girls just didn't do it for them.
    They might be some brain-washed jackass trying to prove that it's a choice, though usually that type of jackass follows it up with "I'm trying to get better through Jesus" or some similar horseshit.
    Sometimes people just want to be accepted, saying they used to date girls makes them seem less "alien" to others in their opinions.
    Some people are just fricking weird.


    If a str8 doesn't have these homosexual desires, it really is hard for them to understand someone who does. I'm really thankful I found a wife who understands how someone can be bisexual and doesn''t get freaked out about it. I have to admit I have a hard time understanding how someone can be left handed. It just doesn't seem natural to me. We all have a hard time understanding people who are different than ourselves and why there are so many wars, hatred, and even all out verbal wars in RJ here. I can't understand how someone can not be a Christian with what we know about the Bible. The atheist can not understand how anyone can believe in God, since he can't be proven. That's human nature not to be able to understand people who are different then ourselves, whether it's race, culture, skin color, sexual orientation, gender, religion etc. It is at the root of our human problem and everyone has this problem to some degree.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    Men and women are very different not only physically, but emotionally and in the things that are important to us and in the way that we think. My wife can hop around doing many different things all at the same time, but I have to complete 1 job before going on to the next. It's a difference in our gender make up. One is not necessarily better than the other, just different, but I could never do what she does because I am not like that. Men and women are pretty much opposite creatures in the way they are wired, but I have learned that what I lack my wife has and what she lacks I have and we make a great team when you put us both together. She also gives to my daughter what I am unable to give and there are things I give to her, that my wife can't. So my daughter gets the best of both.
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    Jun 08, 2010 1:49 AM GMT

    Because there are Bi men that tell themselves and others they are gay, then switch to girls, or do girls and hide their fun with men. The false optics are pretty convincing to the numb-nuts out there.

    Barefootdude, you're no expert on men and women. Lots of men multitask. icon_rolleyes.gif

    You're also telling gay people that men and women are so, so different, but let me tell you something unique about gay people. They have tremendous insight and perspective into both men and women, so for most gays the differences are much smaller than you find them to be.


    -Doug

  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 08, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Only bisexuals think it's a choice, because they go to chose. That's how we out those Republican dick lovers!
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 08, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    oops, got.
  • JayDT

    Posts: 390

    Jun 08, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    A girl I have known since 6th grade and I recently reunited. She asked me "When did you chose your lifestyle?" I said "Linda it chose me, I was born gay." She said "Well when did you know?" I said "I have always known and so have my parents. Ask my dad, he knew as soon I was crawling that I was different." She asked him. He laughed and said "Yup" he ALWAYS knew. And my dad is your typical straight Texan working in the oil industry with the good ol boys drinking beer and watching foot ball. If that didn't teach Linda that I didn't "Learn" how to be gay or "Chose" to be gay, then I do not know what will. Honestly my dad TRIED to teach me to be straight. Clearly that didn't work out so great. I jokingly told him that I was the daughter he always wanted and never got.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    Ignorance. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to explain to everyone you meet. Just live your life openly, honestly, and without apology. Those that get it will stay part of your life, those that don't, it's their loss.
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    Jun 08, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    barefootdude saidPercentage wise gays are in the minority. Does anyone know what the percentage is?


    The research I've done puts it anywhere from 2% to 20%. The more realistic numbers historically, across the animal kingdom and human cultures are around 10-12. I'd be happy to dig up my research (I had an its-a-choicer who was actually very receptive to it).

    mcwclewis said
    The "I used to date girls but had a bad experience" thing has a lot of different causes.


    Yeah, in my case (and probably that of a lot of others), not being attracted to women.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:03 AM GMT

    Well, those folks who think it is a choice aren't knowledgeable of their own sexuality much less that of gay men.
  • irishkcguy

    Posts: 780

    Jun 08, 2010 4:09 AM GMT
    Here's why they think it's a choice: If being gay not a choice, if people are born gay then the Christians on the far right will have to re-think their religious beliefs. Why would God create gay people???? That will require thought and intellectual rigor out of them and these are people who are greatly opposed to thought and intellectual rigor. They believe the earth is 6,000 years old because they refuse to accept any thought that isn't a literal, fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible. They are willfully ignorant.
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    irishkcguy saidHere's why they think it's a choice: If being gay not a choice, if people are born gay then the Christians on the far right will have to re-think their religious beliefs. Why would God create gay people???? That will require thought and intellectual rigor out of them and these are people who are greatly opposed to thought and intellectual rigor. They believe the earth is 6,000 years old because they refuse to accept any thought that isn't a literal, fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible. They are willfully ignorant.


    lol, true!
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:48 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidOnly bisexuals think it's a choice, because they go to chose. That's how we out those Republican dick lovers!


    easy dude im republican but im still gay...so easy with what you say about republicans...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    "why do people think we "chose" to be gay/bi??"

    Why? Their pastor/priest/rabbi/spiritual leader tells them so.
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    BuCKeyEfaN10 said
    barriehomeboy saidOnly bisexuals think it's a choice, because they go to chose. That's how we out those Republican dick lovers!


    easy dude im republican but im still gay...so easy with what you say about republicans...


    Look up a RJer called southbeach
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    Jun 08, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    Simple. They're DIP SHITS!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jun 08, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    Melly saidI mean. why the hell would i pick the harder route in life? gays aren't excepted everywhere. If i could choose i would be straight. ... just because a few people say a girl/guy did them wrong so now they are going for the same sex doesn't mean everyone did that... idk I just been thinking about that lately. share any thoughts? =P



    I still wonder this sometimes....go figure......