Masculine men are bitter that in modern America society, the feminine Gay man is the poster-child for all gay men. There is a feeling that the entirety of who we are as a community, should not be wrapped up in the behavior of just feminine men. But truthfully, feminine guys put on more of a "show" so they attract more attention from straight people, especially the ones who are out to demonize and marginalize us in the first place. I certainly think that all people masculine or feminine should be treated with dignity and respect but I think that the image of gay and feminine as inextricably intertwined is powerfully ingrained in the minds of a lot of people.
For the men that chose to lead a more traditionally masculine lifestyle. This image will constantly be applied to them at school, in the work place, and with everyone that they meet. This makes them very angry that the image of gay men in the minds of most people is a feminine man. Essentially, the issue boils down to how important being different is for you. Many gay men want to do traditionally masculine things, have tradtionaly masculine friends and garner respect from the traditionally masculine community. But they are faced with frustration when this stereotype (born out of the flamboyant behavior of feminine men) is applied to them. Masculine men have a problem with the behavior of feminine men because it personally affects how they as gay men are viewed and treated. Pride parades for example are usually a spectacle of all of the stereotypes int he gay community, put on display for the rest of the world to fill their ridicule bank for the next year. we may not agree on the masculine feminine issue but one thing i think we can all safely say is that gay men as a demographic have a lot of enemies who are constantly looking for ways to portray us as unrelatable (among other things) and feminine me are constantly and willingly giving them the ammunition they need to marginalize us. I am upset that there are still a lot of people in this world who think that the entirety of the gay community can be apt summed up in a man purse, a lisp, interior design and assless chaps because those things DON'T REPRESENT ME. I do not deny someone else's right to do that if it makes them happy. But i do feel the need to speak up when their behavior influences how people view and interact with me. As a young black man, I get annoyed when I see other young black men, walking around with there asses hanging out, why? Because it doesn't represent me, but I know that people will use to define my community. It is important to realize that when you are an oppressed minority your actions hold more weight and have more of an impact on the lives of others than they might otherwise have. I have nothing personal against feminine men, but i would ask them to consider that fact that when you plant too many flowers on your lawn, they eventually start spilling over to mine. If you want to have flowers on your lawn, thats cool. But if I don't want to have them on mine, please respect that. I don't want to bash feminine guys but I just wish their behavior didn't affect the way people view ME and other masculine guys as much as it does.