MORATORIUM on Masculine vs. Feminine Threads

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 12:03 AM GMT
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    I hereby do not wish to partake in any more masculine vs. feminine thread discussions because I realize that some men like more masculine characteristics in their men than others, and that in no way means they are anti-gay. They just enjoy those traits more. Also, there is no such thing as "acting" straight; they are being themselves.

    Signed: WrestlerVic
  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    Jun 08, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    No thanks, Mr Bulldozer.

    I don't want to stop discussing this issue so that you and others can continue to pigeon-hole and stigmatize the very type of gay men who made it possible for you to be the openly gay man you are today. Read up on your history...Stonewall Inn.

    Your supposition that men are attracted to what they are attracted too flea in the face of study after study on how media, society, and other factors have a profound role in determining our likes and dislikes.

    Broaden your mind. Broaden your heart. Stop forcing it.

    Too paraphrase a great philosopher: "life is a buffet an most poor shmucks are starving to death."
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    Jun 08, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    xebec75 saidNo thanks, Mr Bulldozer.

    I don't want to stop discussing this issue so that you and others can continue to pigeon-hole and stigmatize the very type of gay men who made it possible for you to be the openly gay man you are today. Read up on your history...Stonewall Inn.

    Your supposition that men are attracted to what they are attracted too flea in the face of study after study on how media, society, and other factors have a profound role in determining our likes and dislikes.

    Broaden your mind. Broaden your heart. Stop forcing it.

    Too paraphrase a great philosopher: "life is a buffet an most poor shmucks are starving to death."


    What makes you think Stonewall gave us progress? Stonewall got us noticed. Progress is a whole other big deal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    I have no qualms with it but I when I see "I'm into masculine guys only" it's usually a turnoff. Mostly because everyone seems to have a different definition of what masculine is.
  • seven_deadly_...

    Posts: 104

    Jun 08, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    I agree that "vs" threads tend to degenerate into flames, but I have no issues with threads that explore different worldviews on masculinity/feminity and which allow us to expand our personal horizons through being exposed to alternative viewpoints.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 08, 2010 5:48 PM GMT
    We all have a little queen in us, embrace it, stop trying to defy it. icon_twisted.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jun 08, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    Are you saying the Sean Hayes can't act straight? How dare you sir.
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:09 PM GMT
    You know...Not all straight guys are the backwoods alpha male types that these guys looking for "straight acting" guys are looking for...I have (Straight male) friends that have more complex beauty regiments than most gay men I know.
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:13 PM GMT
    I just wish the admins would make categories for these discussions along with Am I a Racist Twat if I Don't Find [XX] Attractive? so they can be hermetically sealed from the rest of the site.

    Oh and if you write a thread starting with Am I a Slut If... the answer is no, you're just an attention whore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    *walks into thread all lumberjack-like carrying a large ax*
    *shakes butt*
    *does the Z snap*
    *walks out of thread*
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:47 PM GMT
    Not a single one of you seems to want to STOP beating up other men who have preferences in men who are more masculine. This is very sad indeed. Especially when most of your comments to profile photos are "how masculine and hot you are."

    Lord.
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:47 PM GMT
    andymatic saidI just wish the admins would make categories for these discussions along with Am I a Racist Twat if I Don't Find [XX] Attractive? so they can be hermetically sealed from the rest of the site.

    Oh and if you write a thread starting with Am I a Slut If... the answer is no, you're just an attention whore.


    hahaha thats awesome. i was exspecting "am i a slut if.... the answer is yes ur dirty whore" but i like urs better
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    Jun 08, 2010 6:49 PM GMT
    n8698u saidI agree! Enough is enough.

    But the "Masc vs. Fem” war is a window on how our culture diminishes any man who does not conform to the “ideal.” Religion is the only other topic argued so passionately, and cruelly here.

    One element that disgusted me most was the blatant refusal of some to accept the respect and dignity effeminate men deserve (Or any man for that matter). Some guys here used words like: “kill,” “beat,” “freak,” “sick,” etc. in reference to them. ON A GAY WEBSITE! It still blows my mind.

    Effeminate men are the obvious targets for ridicule and attacks. They have carried enough of a burden. I would like to think of myself as one defending their dignity, rather than adding anything negative.

    I just hope the discussion isn’t being swept under the rug to hide the blatant hypocrisy of the subject.





    What you describe reeks of the typical American hypermasculinty. If you fail to live up to the extreme measures of what a rugged in your face man is portrayed as you're a fag. Bang chicks, drink beer, make sure your opinion is the only one being heard, and screw rationality.

    In this case these guys acutally are gay and might be overcompensating to battle internalized homophobia and the hate they may or may perceive in their everyday life.

    Now that I think about it...straight guys have it pretty bad too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    "I do have a problem with men who choose their manly preference out of disgust for any man who is NOT masculine."

    But you see, this is YOUR problem and misinterpretation. No one said anything about a preference out of disgust. Just a preference. You and others seem to want to add this "oh, you're just disgusted with me because I'm not man enough for you." You keep playing the victim over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

    People have characteristics that they prefer in others, like it or dislike it. But stop shooting them down for it and making it an anti-gay issue.
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    Jun 08, 2010 7:08 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidJoin in and digitally sign:

    I hereby do not wish to partake in any more masculine vs. feminine thread discussions because I realize that some men like more masculine characteristics in their men than others, and that in no way means they are anti-gay. They just enjoy those traits more. Also, there is no such thing as "acting" straight; they are being themselves.

    Signed: WrestlerVic


    Then.... why don't you just not participate and ignore them
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Jun 08, 2010 7:17 PM GMT
    MsclDrew said
    wrestlervic saidJoin in and digitally sign:

    I hereby do not wish to partake in any more masculine vs. feminine thread discussions because I realize that some men like more masculine characteristics in their men than others, and that in no way means they are anti-gay. They just enjoy those traits more. Also, there is no such thing as "acting" straight; they are being themselves.

    Signed: WrestlerVic


    Then.... why don't you just not participate and ignore them


    WIN!
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Jun 08, 2010 7:18 PM GMT
    I think a silent agreement might have been more effective. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 7:36 PM GMT
    Masculine men are bitter that in modern America society, the feminine Gay man is the poster-child for all gay men. There is a feeling that the entirety of who we are as a community, should not be wrapped up in the behavior of just feminine men. But truthfully, feminine guys put on more of a "show" so they attract more attention from straight people, especially the ones who are out to demonize and marginalize us in the first place. I certainly think that all people masculine or feminine should be treated with dignity and respect but I think that the image of gay and feminine as inextricably intertwined is powerfully ingrained in the minds of a lot of people.
    For the men that chose to lead a more traditionally masculine lifestyle. This image will constantly be applied to them at school, in the work place, and with everyone that they meet. This makes them very angry that the image of gay men in the minds of most people is a feminine man. Essentially, the issue boils down to how important being different is for you. Many gay men want to do traditionally masculine things, have tradtionaly masculine friends and garner respect from the traditionally masculine community. But they are faced with frustration when this stereotype (born out of the flamboyant behavior of feminine men) is applied to them. Masculine men have a problem with the behavior of feminine men because it personally affects how they as gay men are viewed and treated. Pride parades for example are usually a spectacle of all of the stereotypes int he gay community, put on display for the rest of the world to fill their ridicule bank for the next year. we may not agree on the masculine feminine issue but one thing i think we can all safely say is that gay men as a demographic have a lot of enemies who are constantly looking for ways to portray us as unrelatable (among other things) and feminine me are constantly and willingly giving them the ammunition they need to marginalize us. I am upset that there are still a lot of people in this world who think that the entirety of the gay community can be apt summed up in a man purse, a lisp, interior design and assless chaps because those things DON'T REPRESENT ME. I do not deny someone else's right to do that if it makes them happy. But i do feel the need to speak up when their behavior influences how people view and interact with me. As a young black man, I get annoyed when I see other young black men, walking around with there asses hanging out, why? Because it doesn't represent me, but I know that people will use to define my community. It is important to realize that when you are an oppressed minority your actions hold more weight and have more of an impact on the lives of others than they might otherwise have. I have nothing personal against feminine men, but i would ask them to consider that fact that when you plant too many flowers on your lawn, they eventually start spilling over to mine. If you want to have flowers on your lawn, thats cool. But if I don't want to have them on mine, please respect that. I don't want to bash feminine guys but I just wish their behavior didn't affect the way people view ME and other masculine guys as much as it does.
  • seven_deadly_...

    Posts: 104

    Jun 08, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidNot a single one of you seems to want to STOP beating up other men who have preferences in men who are more masculine. This is very sad indeed. Especially when most of your comments to profile photos are "how masculine and hot you are."

    Lord.


    Speaking only for myself, I hope that no one here on RJ gets beaten up for any reason, including men who prefer masculine men. (And yes, maybe I am bucking for the Unicorns & Rainbows Award.) They shouldn't be bashed for their preference.

    That being said, I still think there's a way to have these discussions which is productive, helpful, and respectful to all involved.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Jun 08, 2010 7:45 PM GMT


    Long live the Fem Queens icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
    This thread is to EMO for me to participate in
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    nv7_ said
    MsclDrew said
    wrestlervic saidJoin in and digitally sign:

    I hereby do not wish to partake in any more masculine vs. feminine thread discussions because I realize that some men like more masculine characteristics in their men than others, and that in no way means they are anti-gay. They just enjoy those traits more. Also, there is no such thing as "acting" straight; they are being themselves.

    Signed: WrestlerVic


    Then.... why don't you just not participate and ignore them


    WIN!


    Because this seems to be the overiding constant discussion and distraction on this website. It's like when we got hit with the Monica Lewinsky scandal on TV and had to hear about that for years. Enough is enough. Move on to different topics please.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 11:34 PM GMT
    Welcome to RealJock

    If you want to watch me discuss makeup tips and trendy fashion shoes meet me over at RealPrincess. Its a hoot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 08, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidNot a single one of you seems to want to STOP beating up other men who have preferences in men who are more masculine. This is very sad indeed. Especially when most of your comments to profile photos are "how masculine and hot you are."

    Lord.


    It's so hilarious that you see yourself as a victim in this. I would argue that the majority of men on here at at least seeking someone "masculine." Beyond that, the our culture as a whole has been moving away from feminine men as the archetype since the 1970s. Starting with the gay clone and then increasingly exponentially as steroid treatment for HIV created hulks out of formerly average built gay men, femininity has been on the run for 30 years. And the way your phrase "STOP beating up men who preferences" for more masculine guys belies your own agenda.

    I might have taken this thread seriously if you said you were going to STOP bashing feminine guys and stick up for us when we're defamed by our brethren.