Aging 35-40 year olds.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2007 4:24 AM GMT
    For those of us who fall between 35-40, what do you think about the aging process? How have you shown or reflected the aging process? Is there a social impact?

    I posted the original question in the wrong location. I apologize for that mistake.
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    May 29, 2007 10:47 AM GMT
    Here's my response, again.

    Well, does anyone want to grow old? I know I don't.

    However, there's lots I can do about the way I look and the way I take care of myself. And since starting at the gym last year and taking my exercise programmes seriously I've noticed things have changed considerably for me. I certainly get more attention from guys of all different ages when I go out to bars and when I'm online I receive all sorts of 'proposals'!

    When I was younger I did honestly think that sex for older gay guys just stopped and we all took up knitting. I think this still isn't helped by the fact that the gay media ignores men over 35 despite the fact that they are probably the ones with all the disposable income.

    But if my experience is anything to go by then as long as you stay in shape and remember how to have fun then getting older isn't too much of a hardship.
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    May 29, 2007 12:15 PM GMT
    First of all, I dont fall between 35-40 years. I am 41. It that mean I am old, no life, not attractive , dont belong here among all this good looking jock. Think again. I am in better shape then when I was 3O. I have more self confidence and certainly more financially secure in comparison to my younger days. I have acquire more wisdom, travel to so many places and learn from my mistakes. How it effect me socially (or you mean sex life)? Getting better , now my testorone level is lower , I can see beyong sex. I am more interested in people characters , the joy of loving and being together. Even my love making skill have been perfected after all those years of f----ng around. You be surprise how many younger guy are attracted to older guy like myself.
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    May 29, 2007 2:42 PM GMT
    Until you are 33 years old you are what your genes have made you. After that its what you make of yourself. I'm in better shape now than when I was 33 in some respects but the most important thing is I am happier more productive and a better human being now b/c I work at it.
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    May 29, 2007 4:47 PM GMT
    I agree, burninman.

    My take on it is that parts of the aging process are optional. Typically, metabolism slows down, starting in the mid or late 30s, but becoming or staying fat is optional. I opted to lose the fat and get into shape. At 45, my body looks the best it ever has in my entire life. Unfortunately, maturity is also optional; emotionally, some people never grow up, and they continue to live lives governed unconsciously by their shadow material.
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    May 29, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    I hope I look as good as burninman when I'm 33!
  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    May 29, 2007 7:30 PM GMT
    I think regardless of age, you have to be happy with who you are as a person. Your personality says a whole lot about you and how you present yourself. The old adage: You are as old as you feel.

    People tend to know me and know when I'm upset or not feeling well just by looking at me. Most wondering where my smile has disappeared to.

    Then the whole fitness thing. Just recently, I was outside playing frisbee and baseball with my friends 9 year old daughter.... lol Yes, she's pretty much the tom boy.

    After the day was through, I sat down and reflected over all that I had done. I was shocked. I was never out of breath per say, I wasn't tired as everything or even truly sore.
    I felt wonderful and in a way refreshed. I realized then, since my time in the Army, I have never been better, cardiovascularly, in my life.

    As in my profile, I want to be that 60 or 70 year old riding a bike and enjoying life. I have started a journey that I plan to travel for the rest of my life and I have fitness goals to complete. I may never be a true athlete, but I know now I can get out there and play flag football, softball and eventually learn to ski on the slopes etc...

    One other observation I will add: in the gym there are a lot of hotties, but not all are sexy. I'm not saying I will never, but at my age and starting late in life at the gym, I may not end up with the cut or hard abs and that's ok. Personality and the way you carry yourself can make the difference in which you appear. Even when reading a profile.

    So I guess I plan to be sexy. That's fine by me. LOL

  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    May 29, 2007 7:37 PM GMT
    Yes, it's weird to see some changes happen, but it's a part of the cycle of things, and as cliche' as it all depends on what's in your heart.

    I have known 30 year olds that seem 70, and have known 60+++ year olds who are more active than a 30 year old. Keep the mind fresh and alert at any age. Read, continue to learn things, because even the hottest dude can lose his zest if he's not interesting.

    It's not so bad really. Seems like our culture is obsessed with age, but 40 happens. And it's ok for it to happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2007 8:07 PM GMT
    Every guy and every situation is unique, but in general--

    In the late teens and most of the 20's, most guys are finishing their education and finding the beginnings of their occupation. Many things are in tremendous flux. Acceptance in different schools or training programs, a variety of job offers, and natural wanderlust means people in this range are frequently gone tomorrow or next week- No matter how attractive or how much fun they were last night.
    Add to that the idea that many gay guys didn't get as much dating practice in high school as the conventional HS male.
    So in many cases, a guy is just coming into his own at age 30. With exercise and diet and baring injury and desease, a man can be in excellent shape at least well into his 50's.

    If a guy is reasonably happy in his occupation, these 2 or 3 decades can be the real prime of a man's life. Strangely, both extreme occupational sucess and perceived failure makes people vulnerable to depression and various forms of drug abuse.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2007 8:12 PM GMT
    what do I think of the aging process?

    it sure beats the alternative!

  • treader

    Posts: 238

    May 29, 2007 11:51 PM GMT

    I'm in my early forties and here's a few things that I'm adjusting to:

    - Reading Glasses
    I didn't think that majoring in computer science would mean that I would have to get reading glasses earlier than most people but it's true. Never had to wear glasses before. Nothing worse than on a date and having to put on your reading glasses to read the menu. Can't begin to tell you what happens when I forget to bring them to work. I want my younger eye back!

    - Yoga
    You can tell that your body just doesn't bounce back like it used to. After an injury, I started yoga. It's great and I love it but in a way, I feel that I don't have much choice.

    - Grey Hair
    I've noticed them more and more. Can't say that I like them. Don't need to dye my hair or anything but still.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2007 1:17 AM GMT
    Check out the 40 - 50 year olds on this site. Some of the hottest guys here. 40, over the hill? Nonsense!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2007 4:24 AM GMT
    Thanks for posting!

    Yes, definately, some of the over 40 men look like they are twenty-five.

    I just wondered about experiences between have, while they age.

    Thanks again,
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    May 30, 2007 11:45 AM GMT
    For me, the most significant part of the aging process from 35-40 was my metabolism slowing down and the resulting weight gain.
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    May 30, 2007 12:20 PM GMT
    I'm not uptight about aging. At 45, I understand a lot more about the world. That's why you see my smiling face. I'm comfortable with who I am and don't understand the mindset of a pictureless profiless, especially it middle age. At that age, someone should at least like themselves enough not to be so cowardly and timid.

    As I've gotten older, it's gotten much easier to sort out the noise, the weak, the high drama, the stupid, and so on. That's a good thing. E.g., I pre-ignore pictureless. That's and indicator (being pictureless) of a wide number of underlying issues that I don't want to touch with a ten foot pool: low esteem, self-loathing, religiously conflicted, cheating, plain stupid, or whatever the reason is. As I've aged, I've learned not to coddle the weak and to not invite additional baggage into my life. With 6.6 BILLION folks in the world, there's no reason to have to associate with the bad folks. It's easier to pick and choose the good ones, and, I think, more prudent, mature, and less enabling to the mentally ill.

    I like the fact, that as I've grown older, I train smarter; my decision making process is less impulsive; I speak from a point of maturity; I don't need nor seek the approval of most folks (other than a client, or employer).

    Like I said, aging isn't all bad. There's definitely something to be said about not having youthful arrogance / low esteem.
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    May 30, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    And, of course, you see what I look like.

    After 31 years of lifting, and active adult lifestyle, the proof is in the trophies, the health, the esteem, and so on.

    About once a week, I get a hate email from some fat person, telling me how awful I am. I'd argue that there's no excuse for being like that. It takes YEARS to get morbidly obese. I have the same 24 hours as anyone else, or vice versa. I think we can choose whether to grow old eloquently, or...whether to grow old and be lazy and take a ton of pills, etc. I chose the former, and I have no regrets. It's a pity that those folks lash out at me. I certainly don't have the will, nor give it value to lash out out folks online. The lashing out queers, as I call them, have some serious self esteem issues, and resent guys like me, who, at 46, can pull a 9.1 to 9.9 ratings day after day, run circles in the gym, and still party with the best. I truly believe we can control how we age.

    Medicine in this country is so much about treatment, rather than prevention.

    It may not be PC, but, if a kid is 80 pounds overweight, it's almost criminal not to intervene. Yet, the system is SO fucked up, that someone gets caught with some dope it's jail time. (I like what Canada does there, better.)

    If someone is lazy, fat, out of shape, and complaining about aging, it's hard to find any compassion here. We shape much of our life.
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    Jun 03, 2007 3:50 PM GMT
    Growing older sucks. The older you get, the harder it is to keep up, the less guys want to talk to you, and the harder it is to stay in shape. However...

    Growing older has its upside, too. You appreciate your friends more, you enjoy the physical contact of another person more, and you're better with technique because you're seasoned and experienced, and tend to know better what the other person wants. They say that a man peaks at 18 or 19. That's bullshit. I think that a man peaks when in his fifties. Ask me this again, in 10 years, and I might say that a man peaks in his 60s.

    Yeah, you may have some erectile problems, but shit, you can have erectile problems in your 20s as well, and with the new meds on the market, well, you can get a rock hard erection, anyway.

    Staying in good physical shape is paramount. My dad was old at 50. My father in law was old at 65 (10 years younger than my dad), and everyone who sees me is totally shocked that I'm 51 with grandchildren. They all think that I'm in my 30s. So frankly, I don't intend to even look like I'm in my 50s for another 20 years.

    I think that as people become more schooled in diet and exercise, they're going to stay young longer. Some of you guys who are in your 40s even look like you're in your 20's.

    Let's not dwell on how old we're getting, let's have fun and savor every freakin minute we have of life, and thank God for it. Shit, I wasted half of my life lying to myself and hating every minute of life. I want to enjoy the other half, look hot and live life to its fullest. It doesn't mean "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we will die." Excess doesn't bring happiness. Moderation does.

    So be young, boys, be young as long as you can, and don't worry about getting old. Enjoy every minute, enjoy every person, and be the best you can be in everything you do.

    "Whoe'r thou art, act well thy part." - unknown
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    Jun 03, 2007 6:41 PM GMT
    I've always believe that you are not a man until you are 30.

    Now with some life experiance, that age can be bumped down abit. War and strife can do that.

    I've never dated anyone under 30 yrs old. Its not a limit I self-imposed. I date and sleep with those I find attractive. And those I've found attractive so far have been 30 - 68 years old.
  • ManAfoot

    Posts: 9

    Jun 06, 2007 1:08 AM GMT
    I'm 43 and in the best shape of my life.

    And, as the photo indicates, I'm now at the point I can take off my shirt without being self-conscious.

    I exercise, take supplements, do the skin care regimen...and it's nice to hear other guys say I'm cute.

    Am I defying the aging process? Damn right I am!!
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    Jun 06, 2007 8:56 AM GMT
    As I`m only 30 I keep this short, men who keep themselves in shape are hot no matter what their age.
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    Jun 06, 2007 9:36 AM GMT
    "For those of us who fall between 35-40, what do you think about the aging process? How have you shown or reflected the aging process? Is there a social impact?"

    I feel better than ever. I stopped smoking, drinking, and eating meat (for the most part). The best thing I did for myself was quitting smoking last year and I started when I was 14. I will be 40 on the last day of this month (June).

    I am not in the scene so to speak though because I am married (to a man, we were married in Mass) and I don't know how it would be if I were single or out there in the scene.

    I do know that my tolerance level for vulgarity, thuggism, ignorance, and incivility have decreased dramatically.

    I know my age is showing because I don't understand this fascination with thuggism or the thug look, particularly in gay males, but also in general.

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    Jun 06, 2007 10:02 AM GMT
    Speaking as a guy who's 50, I'd rather be younger, but not at the cost of knowing what I know now. I may not be a head turner when I walk down the street, but I'm in better condition now than when I was 40.

    Age is not an issue for me as is physical condition. I know I could be in better condition (and I'm working at it) but I also could be in far worse condition. Granted, part of my original motivation was vanity based, but after getting in better shape, the other benefits are significantly outweighing that. I realize that we live in a society (gay) that places a disproportionate value on youth, without the balance of lack of experience that goes with it. It's like sex: doing it alot, doesn't automatically make one good at it. On the other hand, age doesn't automatically make you smarter. I've known people who've gone years without learning a thing because they 'already knew it'.

    I prefer to reamain teachable, curious, and as compassionate as I can and will always enjoy being with anyone who has the same attitude, regardless of thier age.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jun 09, 2007 1:14 AM GMT
    Good genes play a big part in anyone's aging process. Exercise, don't smoke, have lots of sex and think young lol. Just live the best life you can and the rest will fall into place.
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    Jun 09, 2007 10:24 AM GMT
    Aside from my twenties at age 42 I can honestly say that I am in better shape now, feel better, and have a more positive outlook on life then when I was younger. Staying in shape now is a greater priority because I don't want to look older than I am. I want people to say "wow, you look way younger than your age."

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    Jun 09, 2007 11:19 AM GMT
    Time goes on. We were all 21. We all turned (or will turn) 29. And from there, you know, time still goes on. It's those who can cope, can reinvent themselves, or evolve, and prove that they can be a boy, a young man, a man, etc., those who are secure in WHO they are, not only their age,.... those are the most adjusted.

    I love older men, I always pity those who post age restrictions in m*n(c/h)*nt ads or g*y.c*m ads.

    Have they ever realized they might be missing out on meeting some of the highest quality friends or lovers, simply because of a number? And they, by the way, someday will most likely achieve that very number that, at one moment in time, was 'off limits!'

    Such a realization comes with age, and those who post immature comments, lack that....