Am I wrong?

  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Jun 11, 2010 6:10 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I do boot camp three (MWF) days a week before we workout every morning. Sometimes the boot camp instructor will do a "fitness test". Basically you do as many pushups, sit-ups and run a mile. I find it rather boring, my boyfriend knows I don't like it.

    This morning when we are all gathering for the class and I find out it is a fitness test day, I go downstairs and run at intervals.

    After the class is over my boyfriend comes downstairs and is so mad he won't even talk to me even after I try to engage in conversation. I walk away and start doing weights without him. I am now fuming at the fact that he is blowing this way out of proportion. So we don't speak to each other until we are done and are leaving to the car. In the car he says:
    "Well are you going to apologize?"
    I said "for what? not wanting to do something I don't want to do?"
    he said: "no it isn't about the fitness test it is about give and take in a relationship and you should have gone because I wanted you there. The class was uneven so I didn't have a partner and I fell on the track and you weren’t there when I needed you"
    ...
    I am all for give and take in a relationship, but I think he is using it to the extreme in this situation. I just don't get it. What the hell am I suppose to say to him?
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Jun 11, 2010 6:26 PM GMT
    I guess there is more in play then just what happened that morning. You are right, he is blowing it out of proportion, but maybe he has a reason behind this besides the bitching about his accident at the fittness test.
  • BarettaB80

    Posts: 141

    Jun 11, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    Yeah, I think he's blowing it a bit out of proportion, but you did kind of ditch him....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 2:42 AM GMT
    I don't really understand why he would need a partner, if the fitness test just involves what you said. But if there was partner-stuff, then you should apologize for leaving him odd-man-out.

    If you are always partners at the boot-camp then it is not nice to just disappear to do your own stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    Have you made a commitment to do the class with him every MWF? If so, I can understand why he'd be upset. But the silent treatment is a little immature.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 3:04 AM GMT
    He may be a bit overdramatic, but I get it. If agreement to disagree had been in place BEFORE this incident, this would most likely be a mute point. Yes, we have to do things we don't like for the sake of our partners, but at the same time, if we do not communicate these feelings, set ground rules and compromise, chances are more of these tiffs will continue. Communication is key.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Jun 12, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    Haha, from the outside it kinda sounds like an overdramatic hissy-fit, it's kind of cute
  • leojock1985

    Posts: 76

    Jun 12, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    hes blowing it out of proportion hands down!!! funny how he says give and take but he expects you to do all the giving and he wont give u this..

    sounds like he has some underlying issues with you and feels the only way he can talk to you about those issues is blowing something little out of proportion because he might be afraid to talk to you about them by themselves!!!

    Sounds like u two need to have an open honest heart to heart talk about some underlying issues in the relationship.. I'm not an expert but i've been on both sides of the situation and that usually seems to be why partners blow things out of proportion and over react!!!

    Instead of talking to us about it.. talk to him about it and LISTEN to what he has to say.. my best bet is go out to dinner.. and talk it over as adults and hear him and talk to him..

    best of luck buddy!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    Drama. Though I find it amusing it all unfolded inside a gym setting like a plot on LOGO.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    maximumrisk saidI guess there is more in play then just what happened that morning. You are right, he is blowing it out of proportion, but maybe he has a reason behind this besides the bitching about his accident at the fittness test.


    Yeah, there may be something deeper that's bothering him. (Especially If he's overly sensitive) Maybe he is holding a grudge from past a event and this situation was just like a "pin that popped the balloon".

    I hope you guys talked it over and everything smooths over.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 12, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    I'm trying to get my head around this one

    Is this something that both of you guys have done for awhile?
    Does your BF Like that you're there with him?
    Is this something that you REALLY hate doing?

    What I'm trying to get you to see .... is if it's that important to your BF
    can you make the adjustment to be there WITH him?

    Yeah .... he might be making a big deal about it
    But it sounds like it's important to him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 3:56 AM GMT
    He sounds like a girl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    Somewhat overdramatic, yes. But there's some validity to it.

    Whether you agreed to do it together every morning or not, you are a couple. It sounds to me like you didn't even tell him you weren't going to do the fitness test. I can see why he'd be a bit upset about that. What if you guys went to the mall together and you just took off in the other direction because you didn't like the store he went to, without telling him. That's just odd for a couple to do, really.

    However, if you did tell him, then you need to tell the queen to take off the crown and get over it. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 11:23 AM GMT
    bla bla bla bla bla bla bla... seriously, you give us only one side of the story.. your side.. what about the rest of it?

    ya know what, most of the posters on this thread are providing useless bullshit.. you've given absolutely nothing about the what and why nor any of the history, you've just posted "he said this cause i did that"

    if it was only as you say.. then your right, hes wrong.. but it aint that simple so you aren't right.

    Hows about you go talk to your partner..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 11:29 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidbla bla bla bla bla bla bla... seriously, you give us only one side of the story.. your side.. what about the rest of it?

    ya know what, most of the posters on this thread are providing useless bullshit.. you've given absolutely nothing about the what and why nor any of the history, you've just posted "he said this cause i did that"

    if it was only as you say.. then your right, hes wrong.. but it aint that simple so you aren't right.

    Hows about you go talk to your partner..


    QFT. Often when it comes to forums (I always want to type 'fora...') we are tempted to frame the conflict in the terms most likely to elicit a sympathetic response.

    We do not know nearly enough about the dynamics of the relationship to offer anything meaningful. This is best discussed in detail with your partner; if you want an outside opinion, talk to friends you trust and who know you, preferably both of you, and will have minimal bias toward one or the other party =)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 11:41 AM GMT
    redheadedryan saidQFT. Often when it comes to forums (I always want to type 'fora...') we are tempted to frame the conflict in the terms most likely to elicit a sympathetic response.

    We do not know nearly enough about the dynamics of the relationship to offer anything meaningful. This is best discussed in detail with your partner; if you want an outside opinion, talk to friends you trust and who know you, preferably both of you, and will have minimal bias toward one or the other party =)

    indeed and I understand that and I've even posted questions on the forum with that intention.. however, many questions posted here are asked in pure earnest and is unintentionally framed to be sympathetic... certainly not all, but a greater majority and with careful reading and understanding of who is posting you can usually sum up a good idea of the person and the intention..

    But.. well.. I think my response sums up what I think.

    can't say I ever wanted to type fora but I've often wanted to type for ums.. especialy for some posters on this site heh..

    FYI.. I just finished the last of this amazing cookies I found.. I'm not happy.. not happy at all!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 11:56 AM GMT
    This should clear up the situation...

    (Role playing as you)

    I'm sorry babe you are right that relationships are all about give and take and maybe I was being a little selfish at this juncture. However you know I really don't care for the bootcamp class and especially the fitness test. I understand that you feel I didn't have your back that day, but you know I love you and I am always there for you. Please don't feel as though I'm not supporting you in this but I think we need to talk about how to make this boot camp situation a little more bareable for me so I can continue to support you.

    After you say that you will have sucessfully diffused the situation and address all that he is feeling and you might even winding up having some nice passionate sex after that talk.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jun 12, 2010 12:05 PM GMT
    Doing the boot camp together is more important to him than you realize. Your distaste for the fitness test is more than he realizes. One of you needs to explain this to the other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 2:21 PM GMT
    Question time Daniepwils.

    "The class was uneven so I didn't have a partner and I fell on the track and you weren’t there when I needed you"

    What does this mean? Did you have an agreed obligation to be partnered and you just walked out?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 2:24 PM GMT
    He's not really talking about what he really wants to talk about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 12, 2010 5:11 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidya know what, most of the posters on this thread are providing useless bullshit..


    It's a good thing you've flown in on your cape to save us all from ourselves! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 13, 2010 12:28 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    lilTanker saidya know what, most of the posters on this thread are providing useless bullshit..


    It's a good thing you've flown in on your cape to save us all from ourselves! icon_twisted.gif

    Oh puuulease, capes are soooooooo 1997... I came in stilettos and a fabulous magical hat
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 13, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    andymatic saidHe's not really talking about what he really wants to talk about.


    This is the point. If it´s not then he´s a nut job.
  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Jun 14, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    meninlove said Question time Daniepwils.

    "The class was uneven so I didn't have a partner and I fell on the track and you weren’t there when I needed you"

    What does this mean? Did you have an agreed obligation to be partnered and you just walked out?





    No obligation what so ever. I think he wanted me there to be with him more than anything. He actually called me at work right after I posted this and apologized for being a drama queen. He wasn't feeling good that morning. I did kind of leave though without specifically saying I am not going when we were walking together to boot camp, even though I had been telling him for weeks now that I wasn't doing the fitness test again.

    Everything is okay icon_smile.gif
    Thank you everyone for your responses.

    Liltanker, that is what pretty much happened. Trust me I try not to sugarcoat to get a favorable response on these boards (lol I don't know anyone on here to care if they are on "my side" or not). I just wanted peoples advice on something that seemed to be odd to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 14, 2010 10:00 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSounds like Drama.....


    And I always wanted to type drama as Jrawmah a la Linda Richman. icon_cool.gif

    659_NpAdvHover.jpg




    Can we have a "liltanker curb dance one more time from the top but in stilelettos " icon_eek.gif

    OH Ciarsolo you pick up the rear.

    Ok everyone else to your places one more time icon_cool.gif