Does RJ have a homophobic bias?

  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Jun 12, 2010 6:02 AM GMT
    So looking at many of the posts here it seems that people see this site as both a place to discuss fitness and as a place to meet men who don't conform to the dominant gay stereotypes. In particular it seems that this means guys who are more masculine or "straighter". Do these two tings necessarily go together?

    While the profile options list a variety of sports, many fitness activities traditionally associated with gay men are conspicuously absent (e.g. ballet, gymnastics, yoga) and some that are possibly included are rather vague (is "skating" rollerblading, figure skating or perhaps skateboarding?)

    Ballet requires much more physical condition than many of the sports listed and an effeminate yogi is probably in much better health overall than the average beer swilling baseball spectator. So is this about health or image? Are we really challenging stereotypes or reinforcing them? Just curious what the rest of you think.
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    Jun 12, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    vintovka saidSo looking at many of the posts here it seems that people see this site as both a place to discuss fitness and as a place to meet men who don't conform to the dominant gay stereotypes. In particular it seems that this means guys who are more masculine or "straighter". Do these two tings necessarily go together?
    Yes, they go together. Not all gay men are effeminate; and not all masculine gay men want to date someone who's effeminate. The "gay=feminine" stereotype needs to be abolished, because it's simply not true.

    vintovka saidWhile the profile options list a variety of sports, many fitness activities traditionally associated with gay men are conspicuously absent (e.g. ballet, gymnastics, yoga) and some that are possibly included are rather vague (is "skating" rollerblading, figure skating or perhaps skateboarding?)
    Gymnastics IS in the forums, just not an option for profiles. If you're a gymnast, just type it in your bio.
    As for the rest, although they are still very aerobic sports, they're not "jock-type" sports. Although I would not be against them being listed.

    vintovka saidBallet requires much more physical condition than many of the sports listed and an effeminate yogi is probably in much better health overall than the average beer swilling baseball spectator. So is this about health or image?
    Both health and image.
    In some parts of the country, image is secondary. In SoFla, image is the determining factor of your success...no company wants to hire fatties for service positions because they don't draw in customers.

    vintovka saidAre we really challenging stereotypes or reinforcing them? Just curious what the rest of you think.
    Speaking for myself, yes, I challenge stereotypes. I enjoy being fem once in a while for fun (especially when I'm fucked up), but it's not my natural demeanor.

    PS. Masculine =/= Straight-acting. Many straight men are effeminate.
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    Jun 12, 2010 7:43 AM GMT
    vintovka saidmany fitness activities traditionally associated with gay men are conspicuously absent (e.g. ballet, gymnastics, yoga) and some that are possibly included are rather vague (is "skating" rollerblading, figure skating or perhaps skateboarding?)


    Yoga is "traditionally" associated with hippies. As you can see, the tradition is not that old.
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    Jun 12, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    Yet another thread beating up on guys who prefer masculine men. When will it stop?
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    Jun 12, 2010 2:41 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidYet another thread beating up on guys who prefer masculine men. When will it stop?



    Probably about the same time as topics starting off with declarations that anyone with any effeminate traits is bitchy and whiny, losers and unlovable.
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    Jun 12, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    HA. I do figure skating competitively, and definitely am not ashamed about it. Although I have to say, I am not one of those Johnny Weir types icon_redface.gif
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Jun 12, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    I'm not bashing guys who find masculine men attractive, I'm just questioning the image of masculinity inherently endorsed by the site.

    I'm well aware that gays are not all effeminate and straight people sometimes are. More than once I have been asked in a gay bar "So, what are you doing here?" and "You know this is a gay bar right?"

    I just think it's funny that as a gay man I reject the norms imposed on me by the mainstream community, but as a gay man I don't feel that I can conform to the dominant so-called "gay culture". So I find myself looking on places like this, only to find the dominant norms of HIGH SCHOOL. Haha, life is rich.

    I just think that maybe we're smart enough and grown up enough to define ourselves without reference to categories like "jock," or maybe I'm wrong.
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    Jun 12, 2010 3:30 PM GMT
    vintovka said So I find myself looking on places like this, only to find the dominant norms of HIGH SCHOOL.

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    so sad, so true
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Jun 12, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    vintovka said
    I just think that maybe we're smart enough and grown up enough to define ourselves without reference to categories like "jock," or maybe I'm wrong.


    Lol, that is so True.....but when it come to be Gay, it's all about Showing yourself as a Attractive as Possible icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 12, 2010 7:53 PM GMT
    yes. there's an incredible amount of misogyny and transphobia here too.
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    Jun 12, 2010 9:10 PM GMT
    Please....please...

    Either make up a word that describes a prejudice against the effeminate, dramatic, screaming queen subset of gay men and use that to describe us non-conformists and those who don't want to be associated with these people

    or

    Stop accusing anyone who fails to either conform to and/or adore these human annoyances of being homophobic...

    If a straight male or female decides to dedicate their lives to being as annoying as possible it's open season to slander them....but if they're gay...it's a form of expression apparently
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Jun 12, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    I just plain HATE IT HERE! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 12, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    vintovka saidI'm not bashing guys who find masculine men attractive, I'm just questioning the image of masculinity inherently endorsed by the site.

    I think what you mention is more likely an oversight than a dig at someone who is into Gymanstics or "skating" (of some type).

    If I had my way, a profile would distinguish between sports people watch and play.
    (Rather than "Sports I like" and "Other sports I like". Huh? What's the difference?)

    vintovka saidI just think that maybe we're smart enough and grown up enough to define ourselves without reference to categories like "jock," or maybe I'm wrong.

    For starters, this site would be better named "RealGymRat" (not that I'm saying you gym rats aren't jocks). Look how little traction the "sports" forums and topcis get. Even topics about the Gay Games (olympics) get not only few posts, but barely any views!

    On other gay sites, there also seems to be an attachment to "jock", and rarely by guys who are interested in sports. I'm guessing there's some element of fantasy involved, or maybe salesmanship, or perhaps it helps with their own self-esteem.

    Every site needs a name and something (at least in theory) to distinguish it from other sites.
    It is what it is.
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Jun 13, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    vintovka saidSo looking at many of the posts here it seems that people see this site as both a place to discuss fitness and as a place to meet men who don't conform to the dominant gay stereotypes. In particular it seems that this means guys who are more masculine or "straighter". Do these two tings necessarily go together?

    While the profile options list a variety of sports, many fitness activities traditionally associated with gay men are conspicuously absent (e.g. ballet, gymnastics, yoga) and some that are possibly included are rather vague (is "skating" rollerblading, figure skating or perhaps skateboarding?)

    Ballet requires much more physical condition than many of the sports listed and an effeminate yogi is probably in much better health overall than the average beer swilling baseball spectator. So is this about health or image? Are we really challenging stereotypes or reinforcing them? Just curious what the rest of you think.


    I think you are COMPLETELY missing the point, with all due respect. The Gay community is diverse as any other group and for so long only the stereotype was represented. The stereotype that has been perpetuated for all these years is really the minority. Now I'm not saying that people on RJ are the majority but there is a large segment of Gay men who are into are have a passion for fitness/health so it's a shame that a sight the caters to this subject is being called homophobic because it's not perpetuating a stereotype. We are diverse people and there is room for a sight like RJ.