Yet again another Father - Son situation

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    Jun 12, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    Here I am again, asking for advice, poitns of view and basically comments because your views are all so different that I can take a little something from every single one of them.

    I'm not out to my parents or friends, yet I want to be, I'm just tired of keeping this to myself. But right now the subject in matter is my dad, the thing is I don't live with my dad, he lives in The States and there is a great amount of posibility we go visit him on August, my question is this: Should I tell him?

    On new years I made a resolution that I would come out this year (at least to my close family) and not that I'm on a hurry and I never keep my resolutions, but I would like to keep this one.

    I'm undicided because I know this is not the kind of things you said over the phone, and I have no Idea when I will talk face to face to him again. I'm scared and I know he won't be accepting, yet I have no reason to believe he will be in five years so why wait?

    I've seen comments on this site that the perfect time is to wait until you are financialy independent and It makes sense, although a part of me feels thats just another excuse to keep on lying. Im a senior so how much dependence could there be left?

    Please give me something to think about or to consider in case I haven't. Thanks
  • coastguy90814

    Posts: 661

    Jun 13, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    ShaDoWhn saidHere I am again, asking for advice, poitns of view and basically comments because your views are all so different that I can take a little something from every single one of them.

    I'm not out to my parents or friends, yet I want to be, I'm just tired of keeping this to myself. But right now the subject in matter is my dad, the thing is I don't live with my dad, he lives in The States and there is a great amount of posibility we go visit him on August, my question is this: Should I tell him?

    On new years I made a resolution that I would come out this year (at least to my close family) and not that I'm on a hurry and I never keep my resolutions, but I would like to keep this one.

    I'm undicided because I know this is not the kind of things you said over the phone, and I have no Idea when I will talk face to face to him again. I'm scared and I know he won't be accepting, yet I have no reason to believe he will be in five years so why wait?

    I've seen comments on this site that the perfect time is to wait until you are financialy independent and It makes sense, although a part of me feels thats just another excuse to keep on lying. Im a senior so how much dependence could there be left?

    Please give me something to think about or to consider in case I haven't. Thanks


    You're 21 and it's 2010...I think it's time to come out ;-) That's just my opinion. It's sounds like you don't even live with your father. It's just hard to believe that in the year 2010 people still have a problem with coming out and stop the lie...you will have a weight lifted off your shoulders and that's more important than anything. If you think you might have a problem with coming out then I would recommend finding a local support group first so that if you personally have issues about being Gay or coming out then you have people to fall back on. Good luck man! You will be fine, I promise...it can seem like a difficult situation but stay positive and be true to yourself :-)
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    Posts: 7190

    Jun 13, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    coastguy90814 said
    ShaDoWhn saidHere I am again, asking for advice, poitns of view and basically comments because your views are all so different that I can take a little something from every single one of them.

    I'm not out to my parents or friends, yet I want to be, I'm just tired of keeping this to myself. But right now the subject in matter is my dad, the thing is I don't live with my dad, he lives in The States and there is a great amount of posibility we go visit him on August, my question is this: Should I tell him?

    On new years I made a resolution that I would come out this year (at least to my close family) and not that I'm on a hurry and I never keep my resolutions, but I would like to keep this one.

    I'm undicided because I know this is not the kind of things you said over the phone, and I have no Idea when I will talk face to face to him again. I'm scared and I know he won't be accepting, yet I have no reason to believe he will be in five years so why wait?

    I've seen comments on this site that the perfect time is to wait until you are financialy independent and It makes sense, although a part of me feels thats just another excuse to keep on lying. Im a senior so how much dependence could there be left?

    Please give me something to think about or to consider in case I haven't. Thanks


    You're 21 and it's 2010...I think it's time to come out ;-) That's just my opinion. It's sounds like you don't even live with your father. It's just hard to believe that in the year 2010 people still have a problem with coming out and stop the lie...you will have a weight lifted off your shoulders and that's more important than anything. If you think you might have a problem with coming out then I would recommend finding a local support group first so that if you personally have issues about being Gay or coming out then you have people to fall back on. Good luck man! You will be fine, I promise...it can seem like a difficult situation but stay positive and be true to yourself :-)



    so what if it's 2010???? what does the year have to do with one's parents being accepting of ur gayness...

    Keep in mind, im sure his dad wasn't raised in the same generation we were, so im sure there are still tons and tons of people that are not accepting of being gay. I mean, c'mon man, throw the kid a freakin bone....

    it's nerve racking to have to tell ur straight father that his son is gay. Not everyone is so accepting. Being that it's "2010" doesn't make it any easier when u know that ur parents are homophobes...... just sayin