online cheating?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 6:59 AM GMT
    do you personally believe in such a thing? flirting, camming, exchaning pictures, is there a invisible line you draw.

    it get mention alot, what are your felling. what have you experienced

    i say its not cheating yet at time i get jelious a bit, overall im fine with it though as long as i cant since any attempt for something more to happen.

    as mention pervious:
    had ex exchange nude picture was upset but let it go. it still happen but what ever, then found plans to met up and cheat, then the event happen. but despite this happening in past i still see no major problem with it depending on the amount of trust i have with a person.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jun 13, 2010 7:42 AM GMT
    Oh, christ, here we go with another stupid "cheating" thread.

    All you guys who are so fuckin' paranoid about cheating should get a god damned DOG.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 8:32 AM GMT
    I think online AND offline cheating is a good thing and more people should do it.

    ...with me. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 13, 2010 9:14 AM GMT
    yeah the topic is a bit over talked about but i like to here different people believes on it, me like to to short to live it jelious
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    Jun 13, 2010 10:12 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidOh, christ, here we go with another stupid "cheating" thread.

    All you guys who are so fuckin' paranoid about cheating should get a god damned DOG.


    Easy boy
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Jun 13, 2010 10:50 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidOh, christ, here we go with another stupid "cheating" thread.

    All you guys who are so fuckin' paranoid about cheating should get a god damned DOG.


    Aye, easy boy, take the chill pill!
    he is voicing a genuine concern. You draw the line where it suits you. Pix of cocks, flirt emails etc are ok with me, meeting up is not.the moment it changes from fantasy to exchanging numbers i say it ends now.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 13, 2010 11:11 AM GMT
    No it's not ok ....

    Looking at sexy pics of guys is one thing
    but sending them OUT? For what purpose?
    Sorry .... if he's not cheating now give him some time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 11:21 AM GMT
    .as I am learning as I get older in the gay life style and as many have advised me on here also, it all depends on the boundaries of the relationship you have with the other person.

    Gay, Straight, black or white, everyone has what I call "rules of engagement" that are usually followed. Anything outside of these rules or "agreements" should be dealt with and as a sign of the other not upholding his end of the bargain or relationship.

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    Jun 13, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    Our rules:

    No sex with anyone else. No seduction. No racy pics, but if someone sends them, be gracious about it, it's a compliment. No naked cam (we'd scare the crap out of the viewer anyway, lol!). Share and confer constantly and consistently, online goings-on. Trust is to be nurtured voluntarily.
    Ask first, assume never.
  • leojock1985

    Posts: 76

    Jun 13, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    cheating is cheating.. just b/c it's done over the computer does not make it any less of a crime!!

    The lack of morality in the present world is alarming and repulsive!!

    Bottom line, if u cant' stay faithful in a mono relationship then don't get into one.. it's that simple!!

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    Jun 13, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    Agree 100% with the two posts above me. Finding friends and talking to people is okay, as long as that is all you are doing. If someone has a conscience, it will let them know if what they are doing is wrong. If you feel guilty, or think you should feel guilty about what you are doing... chances are you should stop.

    The lack of morals and commitment in the gay community disgusts me. I'm not saying it doesn't exist in the straight world, but nobody can deny it happens much more with us gays. The fact that I was reading a thread the other day that somebody thought they hadn't slept with enough people in order to be in a serious relationship both scared and repulsed me. Is this really what I have to deal with to be a gay man? The only people that feel they are ready to be in a committed, monogomous relationship have to survive the gauntlet of STD's out there - then they have proven themselves worthy of love? Thanks, but no thanks... I'd rather be alive and healthy.

  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jun 13, 2010 4:10 PM GMT
    I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, flirting, chatting up guys, posting seductive or hot "solo" pics (i.e. not pics of you as a couple) is out and out cheat if you're in a monogamous relationship.

    Flirtation is a form of seduction, and seduction is intent to step out on the relationship. You're fooling yourself if you think there's such a thing, within a relationship, as harmless flirtation. Really?

    When my guy comes along, I'll be a less frequent visitor to the shores my RJ brethren. Unless he wants to put up a Men-In-Love-esque partner profile, I'll most likely strike all pics, post a simple shot of "us" and move into an entirely different role.

    My eyes on MY prize, and his eyes on his (me!) and no place else. Am I a possessive fuck? Probably. Am I a smothering jerk? No, I work to give room and to have balance. But online or on the avenue, openly actively seeking out flirtatious contact outside the relationship is like galloping pneumonia - treat it fast or die faster.

    I don't even like it if I'm dating a guy. It just feels like things are being taken too casually, for granted. No middle ground for me.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    You know, JoeB1986, we think that if all the straights with lack of morals and commitment were added up they'd outnumber the entire gay population.

    Percentage-wise you're probably right, but you have to consider the upbringing that did NOT include positive, accepted and celebrated role models for gays when they were young.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:25 PM GMT
    Yea its pretty much cheating dude.

    If you're with someone, and you guys aren't doing that whole "open relationship" stuff. Shouldn't be checking other dudes "sexy photos" out, no camming, no chatting about ya naughty bits, or anything sexual. Or showing anyone ya nudes.
  • xcvbn

    Posts: 141

    Jun 13, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    leojock1985 saidcheating is cheating.. just b/c it's done over the computer does not make it any less of a crime!!

    The lack of morality in the present world is alarming and repulsive!!

    Bottom line, if u cant' stay faithful in a mono relationship then don't get into one.. it's that simple!!



    agreed
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:29 PM GMT
    meninlove said You know, JoeB1986, we think that if all the straights with lack of morals and commitment were added up they'd outnumber the entire gay population.

    Percentage-wise you're probably right, but you have to consider the upbringing that did NOT include positive, accepted and celebrated role models for gays when they were young.


    I agree, but those are just numbers. I am also in a difficult situation right now, since the only person I have found that seems to be great for me lives thousands of miles away and I believe the distance may be tearing us apart. I think it's complete bullshit that it has to be this hard to be gay, and it brings me to tears... and I'm not one who tears up easily.

    All I want is somebody to love, and somebody to love me in return. It sounds so fucking simple, but seems impossible to find. Sometimes I envy those immoral, hookup seeking, no strings attached type of people because they don't have to feel the incredible hurt I do at times. I know I'm not the first person on this site to bitch and complain and throw a pity party for themselves, but WHAT THE FUCK. All around me I see my friends finding people for them, being in relationships for years and years, getting married. Is that too much to ask for myself? To be able to be with someone, to love them, to be happy? I often feel that I should just give up... just accept the fact that I will be alone. However, that isn't who I am. I don't give up, and I fight for what I want. I just hope one day when I'm an old man, I can look back on this moment of my life with the person I am spending my life with and be happy that I was wrong... and that I am not alone, old and sad realizing that I was right all along.

    I'm sorry. Today is just not a good day for me. Hopefully you guys can look forward to some of the happy posts I used to occasionally grace you with... if you read everything above, there is no need to reply to me. I just needed to get it out, and I don't have anybody to talk to. Don't feel obligated to try and fix me lol.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    leojock1985 saidcheating is cheating.. just b/c it's done over the computer does not make it any less of a crime!!

    The lack of morality in the present world is alarming and repulsive!!

    Bottom line, if u cant' stay faithful in a mono relationship then don't get into one.. it's that simple!!



    Quoted leo, but it apply to JoeB to.

    I think it's commandable to make effort to live in a way that sound right to you, but you should consider how easy, and dangerous, it can to think that what you think moral is universal and should apply to all.

    Both your stance are virtous, and would be refreshing if they were just a stance on personal integrity. But both of you put yourself as judge of others.

    Should I remind you that a huge number of rather good people consider homoseuality bestial and immoral ? What logic argument do you use to discard the moral judgment put on you out of your sexuality, yet consider your own moral stance is better and give you a right to find people different 'repulsive' ?
    I love the repulsive term, because it's typically one used to describe gay behavior.

    Monogamy a choice (and by the way, it's my personal one), but it's not the only way to have honest emotional/sexual relationship with other.

    When you are monogame, and that you cheat, yes, it's ammoral (methink), but the damage is not a damage to monogamy, that's unimportant. The damage is a betrayal of the trust placed in you.

    If you are young (or old) and eager to have multiple sexual affair, even sex only meeting (cum, dress and take the door), there is no moral issue as long as the person you interact with are on the same wavelentgh.

    When I meet someone, I value personal integrity and compassion far more that adherence to my personal moral system.

    You moral system should rule your life, but I don't think it give anyone a right to rule the life of others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    Hey JoeB1986,

    Heheh, no we won't try to fix you. How does one do that, anyway, lol?

    However, we've always a handy shoulder to spare, having two sets of 'em, for anyone that needs a little virtual cuddle/hug or a there-there.

    So here's our online hug for you:
    Both of us, and most others in relationships have stood exactly where you do now, and felt the same way.

    We're both grateful for every failed relationship and misfire (wrong guesses) we had, because those endings and not-to-be-s, had they not occurred, would have meant we'd never have met.

    What a thought.

    -us guys
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    JoeB1986 said
    meninlove said You know, JoeB1986, we think that if all the straights with lack of morals and commitment were added up they'd outnumber the entire gay population.

    Percentage-wise you're probably right, but you have to consider the upbringing that did NOT include positive, accepted and celebrated role models for gays when they were young.


    I agree, but those are just numbers. I am also in a difficult situation right now, since the only person I have found that seems to be great for me lives thousands of miles away and I believe the distance may be tearing us apart. I think it's complete bullshit that it has to be this hard to be gay, and it brings me to tears... and I'm not one who tears up easily.

    All I want is somebody to love, and somebody to love me in return. It sounds so fucking simple, but seems impossible to find. Sometimes I envy those immoral, hookup seeking, no strings attached type of people because they don't have to feel the incredible hurt I do at times. I know I'm not the first person on this site to bitch and complain and throw a pity party for themselves, but WHAT THE FUCK. All around me I see my friends finding people for them, being in relationships for years and years, getting married. Is that too much to ask for myself? To be able to be with someone, to love them, to be happy? I often feel that I should just give up... just accept the fact that I will be alone. However, that isn't who I am. I don't give up, and I fight for what I want. I just hope one day when I'm an old man, I can look back on this moment of my life with the person I am spending my life with and be happy that I was wrong... and that I am not alone, old and sad realizing that I was right all along.

    I'm sorry. Today is just not a good day for me. Hopefully you guys can look forward to some of the happy posts I used to occasionally grace you with... if you read everything above, there is no need to reply to me. I just needed to get it out, and I don't have anybody to talk to. Don't feel obligated to try and fix me lol.


    Really sorry you feel this way.
    Don't be sorry about sharing, sometime we just need to vent out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:53 PM GMT
    Webster666 said

    All you guys who are so fuckin' paranoid



    ....says the faceless man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    Webster666 said

    All you guys who are so fuckin' paranoid



    ....says the faceless man.
  • leojock1985

    Posts: 76

    Jun 13, 2010 4:55 PM GMT
    minox said
    leojock1985 saidcheating is cheating.. just b/c it's done over the computer does not make it any less of a crime!!

    The lack of morality in the present world is alarming and repulsive!!

    Bottom line, if u cant' stay faithful in a mono relationship then don't get into one.. it's that simple!!



    Quoted leo, but it apply to JoeB to.

    I think it's commandable to make effort to live in a way that sound right to you, but you should consider how easy, and dangerous, it can to think that what you think moral is universal and should apply to all.

    Both your stance are virtous, and would be refreshing if they were just a stance on personal integrity. But both of you put yourself as judge of others.

    Should I remind you that a huge number of rather good people consider homoseuality bestial and immoral ? What logic argument do you use to discard the moral judgment put on you out of your sexuality, yet consider your own moral stance is better and give you a right to find people different 'repulsive' ?
    I love the repulsive term, because it's typically one used to describe gay behavior.

    Monogamy a choice (and by the way, it's my personal one), but it's not the only way to have honest emotional/sexual relationship with other.

    When you are monogame, and that you cheat, yes, it's ammoral (methink), but the damage is not a damage to monogamy, that's unimportant. The damage is a betrayal of the trust placed in you.

    If you are young (or old) and eager to have multiple sexual affair, even sex only meeting (cum, dress and take the door), there is no moral issue as long as the person you interact with are on the same wavelentgh.

    When I meet someone, I value personal integrity and compassion far more that adherence to my personal moral system.

    You moral system should rule your life, but I don't think it give anyone a right to rule the life of others.


    You make some valid points about others perspectives and judgement!! I do not care what people do behind closed doors random sex ect ect..

    But if you enter a monogamous relationship that means YOU AND YOUR PARTNER. and to violate that level of trust is repulsive.

    For me there's no difference between two people in a monogamous relationship and a married couple who vow to be monogamous when they said I do!!! and one of them cheats!!!

    I do find it repulsive when people claim to be monogamous and yet cheat and feel through their own twisted logic that it is ok!!

    Bottom line cheating is wrong when you both enter a marriage or a monogamous relationship!! That is universally accepted and should be upheld!!

    Like I said.. if you can't accept being in a monogamous relationship don't get into one.. you can't be faithful don't put yourself and another human being in a situation that is bound to fail because of your selfish intensions.

    Yes it is a violation of trust which should never happen but time and time again people violate that trust when in my opinion they know the type of person they are and they should never of gotten into that situation to begin with.

    and in my opinion cheating (when in a declared monogamous relationship) is one of the most selfish, heartless, and hurtful thing you can do to another human being. Putting your own lust selfish desires before the feelings of someone your suppose to love is wrong. You should be able to relieve your sexual desires with your partner and if you aren't, then maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship.

    Get where i'm coming from??

    I hope I made sense icon_smile.gif
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Jun 13, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    Wow! people chill the man is just exchanging pics and thats it, it's like when you go out and see a hot guy with no shirt on dont tell me you dont look because thats a lie!
    you look, you can even say by God Brad Pitt is hot, and that doesnt mean you're cheating does it?
    innocent or maybe not so innocent flirtation is ok as long as its within boundaries.
    you cant make someone love you and if he's with you is because he wants to be with you otherwise he would have left. just mention it to him as you did to us, make the rules clear, you can chat, you can flirt, but no cheating no exchanging numbers, and no meeting in person. Tell him you trust him and you wont go all Miss Marple on him, but if you did find out something was going on it would end right there and then no second chances. Then everyone knows the rules of the game. To me he hasnt done anything major.Exchanging sexy pix is nothing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 5:06 PM GMT

    ROFL, we're quoting ourselves!

    meninlove said Hey JoeB1986,

    Heheh, no we won't try to fix you. How does one do that, anyway, lol?

    However, we've always a handy shoulder to spare, having two sets of 'em, for anyone that needs a little virtual cuddle/hug or a there-there.

    So here's our online hug for you:
    Both of us, and most others in relationships have stood exactly where you do now, and felt the same way.

    We're both grateful for every failed relationship and misfire (wrong guesses) we had, because those endings and not-to-be-s, had they not occurred, would have meant we'd never have met.

    What a thought.




    -us guys



    Here JoeB1986, This gal in the vid has a great message. Be cool!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    hmm ok since i never been....... is flirting in a club to much, since alot of people say flirting online is to much