Anal vs Oral versatility-double standard?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 13, 2010 7:28 AM GMT
    So we all know of the top/bottom distinction for anal sex, so I'm curious as to why such a distinction doesn't apply to oral sex as well. For oral sex, its pretty much standard for a guy to be willing to both suck and get sucked, but not so for anal sex. So why is it that its ok for a guy to say he's 100% top, but a guy who'll get his dick sucked but who won't suck another guy's dick is selfish? Isn't it kind of the same concept.

    And also, if a guy didn't really like sucking dick too much and only liked getting his dick sucked, he probably would still suck dick just to please his partner. After all, he blew you too, right? But how many pure top guys would be willing to bottom, even if they didn't really enjoy it, just to please their partner ever so often?

    And I guess this doesn't have to be limited to anal/oral sex. What about hand jobs or even something a bit less explicit like a massage? Few people would say they're only into giving/getting hand jobs or giving/getting massages, so why is anal sex so different where probably the number 1 question asked amongst gay men is are you top or bottom?

    I say if versatility is the norm for practically every other sexual act, then it should be so for anal sex as well.


    Also, to clarify. I'm not saying that oral sex is "standard." What I'm saying is that if you're willing to get your dick sucked, you should be willing to suck dick, and that seems to be a generally accepted statement in the gay community. But if you're not into oral at all, than that's fine. So likewise, I'm not saying that guys who are not into anal sex should feel compelled to do it. Rather, just like with oral sex, if you're into giving it, you should at least be able to take it on occasion too.
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    Jun 13, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    I don't agree that should be any shoulds.

    Some guys just like giving head, others just like getting head. If you put one of each together, and they are happy, who are you or me to question that?
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    Jun 18, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    I think you're missing the point here.

    The question "are you top or bottom?" in regard to anal sex has become so common its practically universal and people weed out potential partners very early on based on this one type of sex.

    However, you don't see this same phenomenon in regards to oral sex, handjobs, whatever, you name it. Has anyone ever come up to you and asked "top or bottom?" in regard to anything other than anal?

    In short, I'm curious as to why roles are far more important with anal sex than with other activities like oral. Even most 100% top or bottom guys are at least versatile with blow jobs. Why is there so much less versatility with anal than with everything else?
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    Jun 18, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    Are you trying to invent a problem here? Anal sex isn't for everyone. Some guys are tops, some guys are bottoms and everyone else is in between.
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    Jun 19, 2010 5:49 AM GMT
    I don't see why the subject of this thread is so difficult to understand.


    You said it yourself, "some guys are tops, some guys are bottoms..." but this is something that is only ever asked of in terms of anal sex.

    Have you ever had someone come up to you, in regard to oral and asked "top or bottom?" or has that question been asked to you in regard to any other sex act besides anal? I'm willing to bet no.

    The whole point of this is to maybe have a discussion as to why "roles" are apparently more important with anal than they are for other sex acts. Why is there so much more of a top/bottom distinction with anal, than with giving/receiving head for instance?
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    Jun 19, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    bobbyboy724Why is there so much more of a top/bottom distinction with anal, than with giving/receiving head for instance?
    I'd assume because for anal there are indeed a significant number of guys that are top or bottom only, while for head you'd have to look long and hard to find someone who is only into giving or receiving.
    As to why there is a greater distinction for anal than for other sex-acts, there are a number of possible reasons: psychological, physical, cultural, habitual and prob. a lot more.
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    Jun 19, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    With anal intercourse, both parties are getting off. That's important to remember when trying to compare it to one guy giving head and the other recieving. In that case only one is getting off. See the diff?
  • Regina_Guy

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    Jun 19, 2010 3:15 PM GMT
    meninlove said With anal intercourse, both parties are getting off. That's important to remember when trying to compare it to one guy giving head and the other recieving. In that case only one is getting off. See the diff?


    If only one of you is getting off when doing oral, maybe you need to start thinking outside the box a little bit. It's not very hard for both people involved to get off at the same time.
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    Jun 19, 2010 7:55 PM GMT
    [quote] I'd assume because for anal there are indeed a significant number of guys that are top or bottom only, while for head you'd have to look long and hard to find someone who is only into giving or receiving.
    [/quote]


    THAT is the question I've been asking this entire time. That is the point of this thread. Why is it that in general, anal sex is a much more role-restricted activity than others like oral?
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    Jun 19, 2010 8:18 PM GMT
    bobbyboy724 said
    Have you ever had someone come up to you, in regard to oral and asked "top or bottom?"


    Yes. A number of times.
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    Jun 19, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    bobbyboy, whilst i agree with you re oral, with anal it is a little different.

    generally people are very enthusiastic about one role and tend to identify to their preference. i have had boyfriends that were seemingly incomplete without my dick up their arse and that made me sooooo happy too. not to say that every now and again, just to show willing, i wouldn't sit on their cock. not my favourite thing, but hey!

    it is made into a big deal maybe because it is complicated/messy/can be painful/breaks so many social taboos, whereas a hand job or even a quick blow job in comparison is childs play ( i don't mean that kids can/should do it but that they are relatively easyto perform!)

    i just love to imagine the world is full of bottoms and i don't want to find out it isn't....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    Who cares who blows who?
    If the guy you're with isn't sexually compatible, find someone who is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2010 7:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidWho cares who blows who?
    If the guy you're with isn't sexually compatible, find someone who is.


    The inability of some people to understand the point of threads astounds me sometimes...
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    Jun 20, 2010 7:31 AM GMT
    bobbyboy724 said
    paulflexes saidWho cares who blows who?
    If the guy you're with isn't sexually compatible, find someone who is.


    The inability of some people to understand the point of threads astounds me sometimes...
    The point of this thread seems to be to bash people who won't suck your dick.
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    Jun 20, 2010 7:46 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    bobbyboy724 said
    paulflexes saidWho cares who blows who?
    If the guy you're with isn't sexually compatible, find someone who is.


    The inability of some people to understand the point of threads astounds me sometimes...
    The point of this thread seems to be to bash people who won't suck your dick.


    No, actually if you *read* my posts, you'd realize the point of this is to discuss why versatility isn't as common with anal sex as it is with other sex acts, and why people identify more with roles for anal than for other sex acts.

    Stop being a troll and an idiot.
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    Jun 20, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    Regina_Guy said
    meninlove said With anal intercourse, both parties are getting off. That's important to remember when trying to compare it to one guy giving head and the other recieving. In that case only one is getting off. See the diff?


    If only one of you is getting off when doing oral, maybe you need to start thinking outside the box a little bit. It's not very hard for both people involved to get off at the same time.


    lol, oh we know. 69 is a great number. icon_wink.gif

    We were going with the premise in the OP, " So why is it that its ok for a guy to say he's 100% top, but a guy who'll get his dick sucked but who won't suck another guy's dick is selfish?"


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    [quote]

    We were going with the premise in the OP, " So why is it that its ok for a guy to say he's 100% top, but a guy who'll get his dick sucked but who won't suck another guy's dick is selfish?"


    [/quote]


    I said a lot of other things too...this was just merely an example of how "roles" seem to be more accepted for anal. There are a lot more people that are strictly top/bottom for anal than I think for anything else out there really and people are also more willing to accept strict roles for anal than they are for other sex acts.

    And I've heard many people on RJ say they consider a guy who's not versatile with blowjobs to be selfish, so I didn't just pull that out of my ass (no pun intended)
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    Jun 20, 2010 11:17 PM GMT
    I think the OP makes a great point, no lies.
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    Jun 21, 2010 1:58 PM GMT
    meninlove said With anal intercourse, both parties are getting off. That's important to remember when trying to compare it to one guy giving head and the other recieving. In that case only one is getting off. See the diff?


    I don't agree with you. I love giving head and I always get off while giving head. I think its all in the mind. If you're predominantly an "oral top", maybe you won't enjoy giving head.

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    Jun 21, 2010 2:57 PM GMT
    Martin5769 said
    meninlove said With anal intercourse, both parties are getting off. That's important to remember when trying to compare it to one guy giving head and the other recieving. In that case only one is getting off. See the diff?


    I don't agree with you. I love giving head and I always get off while giving head. I think its all in the mind. If you're predominantly an "oral top", maybe you won't enjoy giving head.



    I agree with you. Th OP's premise must be based on limited experience. I have encountered a good number of guys who were either total oral tops or total oral bottoms.