HIV FEAR, how do you deal with it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 5:35 AM GMT
    Hey, I'm new to this whole having sex thing but I know the basics, use protection/get tested or abstinence.

    I recently had sex for the first time with a man I met online (cl) and he was a bare backer, we used a condom (not for oral) but he came outside of my ass like in a porn movie, he somehow managed to shoot it to my anus and a couple of minutes later I found some semen in my ass, don't know how much got there and cleaned afterwards.

    To the point, Im getting tested in a couple of months (august will be 6 months since the act) I'm trying to stay positive but this irrational fear of being infected takes over me from time to time, it gets to me at night and it won't go away until I have my results, the problem here is that I feel this will ALWAYS happen to me, even if the results are negative the next time I have sex even if it's SAFE SEX with a supposedly safe person this fear will comeback again and again and again and again so I ask to the more experienced guys or guys with an active sex life, how do you deal with this? How do you make this horrendous fear dissapear?

    Sex is a great part of life and I want to enjoy it without worries, how can I keep a positive mentality? any tips? icon_neutral.gif

    sites like CG are the most accesible to me (well, to all of us) and I'm not interested in a monogamous relationship at the moment, I just wan't to be single for a while and get to have sex with different partners whenever I feel like it, help please and thank you.

    This is my first message by the way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    it sounds like you already know what you need to do.

    out of curiosity: are you a troll, or do you just write like one?
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Jun 15, 2010 10:09 AM GMT
    Well if August will be the 6 month mark I have "good" news; you can got and get tested now. You have to wait 3 months to get an accurate result.

    I had a HIV scare earlier this year so know where you're coming from.
    RIght now I'm limited to blow jobs, because that's as comfortable as I feel, but recently I met someone who I could see myself going further with.

    Step 1. Get tested

    Step 2. Find out for sure what your status is and go from there.

    If you're + it's not the end of the world, you don't have to start making a list of things to do before you die etc. Seek help froma counsoler and advice from a Dr.

    If you're - then thank which ever deity your believe in and take it as a lesson learnt. There is no such thing as "safe sex" just safer sex. Every time you get in a car or fly on a plane there is a chance it'll crash but we do it anyway.

    For me it was earthquakes, they happen fairly often round here and I could get crushed at anytime, doesn't me I stand in the middle of an open field all day just in case.

    Either result takes little steps forward, do only what you're comfortable with and be honest, both with others and with yourself.

    I've got my fingers crossed it'll be - but like I said it's not the end of the world if it's +.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 15, 2010 10:18 AM GMT
    Same way I deal with getting on a plane
    or driving down the freeway

    I I take as many precautions as I can and do what I need to do
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 11:16 AM GMT
    My Doctor, who has a few HIV+ patients, told me that most people seroconvert in the first 12 weeks. If you say you're 4 months gone, why don't you ask your doctor for a rapid HIV test, just to put your mind at ease. If you test negative 4 months after the "act", the chances that you are HIV + are minimal. (There is still a chance you may seroconvert, but it is minimal.) That should, hopefully, reduce the fear and let you sleep and wake up without worrying too much about it. Get off your butt, and ask your doctor for a rapid HIV test. Sitting around worrying and not doing anything about it is not going to take the fear away.

    I am sure you already know what to do to avoid going through this again. You may not like it, but it could mean the difference between living on meds for the rest of your life, or leading a more healthy life with a better outlook. You have "free will" - that means that if you think you should do something, just do it. If you think you shouldn't do something, then don't. Dont get on that bandwagon most guys get on when they say that their sexual urges are stronger than they are and therefor a little bareback "slip-up"once in a while is ok. It is not OK. You have free will - use it.