Should I be worried

  • anysound

    Posts: 11

    Jun 15, 2010 7:02 AM GMT
    I stayed over at the guy i've been seeing for 4 months last night.
    He was on msn talking to one of his gay friends and when he was outta the room i had a scroll through the convo.

    The guy who I'm seeing said something like "I've got a thing for guys in the 30-40's lately it's weird"
    And his friend was like "does bradley know lol" to which he replied with "no".

    We're both 22.
    It didn't really progress any further than that so I don't know if I'm reading too much into it.
    But the fact that we're still not 'official' yet and taking things slow (hanging out couple times a week) kinda makes me think in the back of my head "is he waiting for someone better to come along".
    I don't know if I should just dismiss is as a flippant comment or what.


    Also, last night during sex (our sex is pretty much just hand jobs and oral) i couldn't cum!
    It was like the first time i haven't been able to come with him.
    We tried for agess but nothing worked.
    I hadn't masturbated that day so I don't know what it was..stress?
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Jun 15, 2010 10:09 AM GMT
    imabadboy88 saidu did wut icon_surprised.gif

    man, stay the fuck out of other peoples personal conversations icon_evil.gif

    dont think that because yall r dating or talking wutever dont matter u had no right 2 look at the conversation .


    I agree

    he was having a Brah Conversation with his Brah. And you totally deserve not being able to cum b/c you brought that on yourself, and its not even about you icon_rolleyes.gif stop being a nosy bitch and all will be as it was. You will be the end of that relationship if you keep snooping, b/c you'll get all paranoid and shit and cause him to be like fuck that and fuck you .. Just sayin'
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    Jun 15, 2010 10:14 AM GMT
    Why did you snoop in the first place? Had this guy given you reason to?

    If not then I think you're more likely to ruin things than he is.

    I've never snooped on a guy I was dating and only ever wanted to once when he started to give me reason to...even then though I didn't.


    You said yourself you didn't read much further so you've really just made things worse, you only know half the story and can't ask the guy about it because he hasn't told you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 2:02 PM GMT
    'He was on msn talking to one of his gay friends and when he was outta the room i had a scroll through the convo.'

    Oh no, why did you do that? It's his device and his private text. On the other hand, what the hell was he doing that for (busily texting) when he was with you?

    Are you Bradley?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 2:04 PM GMT
    anysound is loco11 we think. Man we so dislike fake profiles.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Jun 15, 2010 2:05 PM GMT
    anysound saidI stayed over at the guy i've been seeing for 4 months last night.
    He was on msn talking to one of his gay friends and when he was outta the room i had a scroll through the convo.

    The guy who I'm seeing said something like "I've got a thing for guys in the 30-40's lately it's weird"
    And his friend was like "does bradley know lol" to which he replied with "no".

    We're both 22.
    It didn't really progress any further than that so I don't know if I'm reading too much into it.
    But the fact that we're still not 'official' yet and taking things slow (hanging out couple times a week) kinda makes me think in the back of my head "is he waiting for someone better to come along".
    I don't know if I should just dismiss is as a flippant comment or what.


    Also, last night during sex (our sex is pretty much just hand jobs and oral) i couldn't cum!
    It was like the first time i haven't been able to come with him.
    We tried for agess but nothing worked.
    I hadn't masturbated that day so I don't know what it was..stress?


    bad bad dont read other's info.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    yes - you should.
  • Fusion98102

    Posts: 164

    Jun 15, 2010 4:30 PM GMT
    I have yet to hear about anyone snooping to find information that found something good. And why should they? Snooping, by nature, is the sign of insecurity, distrust and a weak person. If you have concerns, or wanted to know what he was talking about, try having a conversation with him, instead of his emails, texts, IM's or anything else that can be taken out of context. Short of finding him with someone else, anything he said could be understood on a completely different level with the person he was talking to. My 2 pennies*

    *Inflation and recession do not apply
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Jun 15, 2010 5:04 PM GMT
    I agree with what most have said already. You need to be worried, but you need to be worried about yourself. That was Fucked up snooping and reading his personal mail. Why would you do that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 15, 2010 5:07 PM GMT
    anysound, why not just ask your other profile, Loco11?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 25, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    Okay, OP is getting alot of heat for nothing. I do agree that snooping with the intention of mistrust is wrong BUT there's a place and time for keeping track of your bf especialy if you know that they are the wandering kind. Straight women do that all the time. It's called saving yourself from hurt and being betrayed so that once he's actually done the "deeds", you wouldn't be surprised. In that case, you can't blame anyone but yourself. You can then decide whether you want to leave the guy or be betrayed again. If you are playing with fire, better wear rubber gloves.
    But, I agree, you shouldn't mention it but remember it in a little black diary.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    It's not gonna work out. Sorry, you shouldn't have to go through his texts messages to make yourself feel more secure just as he shouldn't be texting when he's with you because he's not interested.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    Dude, you shouldn't have spied on him. That's not cool. go apologize.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    sdgman saidDude, you shouldn't have spied on him. That's not cool. go apologize.


    What he said.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 10:58 PM GMT
    Mother Nature took the fuse out of your cum switch for being a nosey little ....
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jul 26, 2010 11:22 PM GMT
    I haven't read all the comments, but looks like I'm with the prevailing opinion -- you had no right to read his personal conversation. At this point, you're still dating. You've said nothing to him about being bfs, and neither has he. So, you have no "ownership" of him.

    That said, you can't put the genie back in the bottle, can you? You have no way to know at this point whether he's truly waiting for someone older to come along. So, your choices are hang tight and try to ignore what you read, or if you can't, then you need to move on.

    And yes, given you were 20 and couldn't perform, I'd say it's likely because of the stress of the moment.

    Hopefully you can learn from this experience.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Jul 26, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    I can't wait until Laura Linney's new series on Showtime starts, then I won't be as tempted to read fiction on RJ........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    Methinks the guys reprimanding you for snooping are just petrified their someone special will discover their own online cheating adventures. Can't have that now, can we? Let's rather come down hard on the victim. icon_rolleyes.gif

    A majority of guys cheat. Even a majority of nice guys that you trust will cheat. By all means, trust, but verify.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    Hokenshi said
    I've never snooped on a guy I was dating and only ever wanted to once when he started to give me reason to...even then though I didn't.


    If he gave you reason to and you didn't, then you are an idiot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    meninlove said anysound, why not just ask your other profile, Loco11?


    Why do you do this? I think it is very much legitimate for someone to make an anonymous profile for asking sensitive or personal questions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    Sorry, but what's with all the Mother Theresa responses to this one?

    All this holier than thou I would never even dream of taking the slightest peek at someone else's diary nonsense?

    I mean, we all pretend to have that level of personal integrity in the real world, it's expected of us, but you can tell the truth on here boys.

    You'd all be tempted to take just an incy wincy peek in that situation, surely?

    Of course, you might not like what you read, and tough caca, but come ON.

    Three hail marys and an act of contrition for the OP. You naughty, naughty bitch.
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    Jul 26, 2010 11:50 PM GMT
    viveutvivas said
    meninlove said anysound, why not just ask your other profile, Loco11?


    Why do you do this? I think it is very much legitimate for someone to make an anonymous profile for asking sensitive or personal questions.



    .....The site is at times flooded with these blank profiles asking questions which can easily be framed as, "I have a friend who asked me about this".

    Too often the blank profile is a drive-by poster that has us and others devoting time and energy to replies and then the profile either disappears, doesn't reply, or starts attacking others from the safety of their anonymity.

    There have been a couple of sincere instances where the blank profile specifically stated he has been a member here for some time but due to sensitivity issues wished to post anonymously. That commands respect from us.