Define Masculinity

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    Jun 17, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    I was reading and responding to a couple blog subjects. One guy in particular pissed me off as he was very condesending to a blogger, and what his paridigm of masculinity is. I mean.. really! You cant be masculine and have a love or passion for music Diva's? Is it not cool or manly to appreciate a love song? Does it really matter if we are thin or muscular?

    Do we really have to show our testosterone to feel manly?

    Im as masculine as they come.

    I cry at movies
    I can still bench 250 at 52 yrs old

    I garden, and love planting flowers
    I can ski, both down hill and water ski

    I love to decorate my house
    Many of my friends are straight

    I can love my grandkids
    I can do most home repairs

    Im a bottom
    I can be very sexually dominant

    I can feel my feelings, im not afraid to express them.


    Im a man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:29 AM GMT
    closest Alpha Male characteristics?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:33 AM GMT
    Beetlejuice

    Beetlejuice

    Beetlejuice
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    why do people equate going to the GYM with being manly?? my dad can do that and he's an old fat fogie..

    Tell me about what DIVISION 1 TEAM you play for THEN WE'LL talk about dp with your teammate.

    my gym is full of buff gay guys and theyre all pansies with short shorts. im fatter than them but im more manly.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    Being yourself despite personal risk.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Jun 17, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    Strong enough and secure enough to be able to risk being vulnerable.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    Actually, I see nothing "manly" about sitting around all day watching football.

    If you want to do it, fine. . . there's nothing wrong with it.

    But really LOL, it doesn't make you a man. . . though plenty of st8 guys seem to think so.

    These same guys couldn't run around the block or do ten push-ups if their life depended on it. . .
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:27 AM GMT
    Masculinity: A natural behavior that is commonly associated with warriors and barbarians and construction workers and plumbers and hair stylists.

    Hey, hair stylists can be masculine, too!
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    Jun 17, 2010 12:47 PM GMT
    Let me repeat what I said on another post about masculinity:

    You know, it seems that I was told all my life that I was a fag, and I couldn't figure out why they kept saying that. I had (in my childhood, anyway) not slept with a guy nor was I interested in doing so, but I had this really short fuse, this really high voice, this really skinny bod, and this really thin skin. I remember having a near-nervous breakdown at the age of thirteen because I had cried to my father about being picked on like this, and all my father said was: 'They're calling you what they see; stop acting like a fag and they will stop.' When I told him I couldn't even figure out what it was that made them think I was acting like a fag, his brilliant response was: 'If you even have to ask if what you are doing is faggoty, then it is.' He'll never know how that froze me in my tracks and kept me from doing anything that made me happy. He'll never know how half the fights I started in school (most of which got me suspended in house) were me fighting against HIS voice my mind and not the jeers I was actually hearing. And he'll never know how the varsity letter I finally earned in high school for swimming was supposed to be some kid of a whack-ass shield behind which I could hide from him.

    Deprogramming myself from that kind of thinking has taken years, but that I have been able to do so and live comfortably in my own skin without having to ask if what I am doing is "faggoty" is the ultimate assertion of my masculinity. The voice may still be high, the bod may still be skinny, and the skin may still be thin, but I have emotionally and psychologically come into my own, which makes me not only a grown-up, but a hell of a mentally and emotionally tough one... and THAT makes me feel more like a man than anything else ever could or will.
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    Jun 17, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
    But make allowance for their doubting too,
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

    If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
    If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much,
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

    –Rudyard Kipling
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:06 PM GMT
    If everything about you exudes being of the male gender. You can't wear pink shirts or white pants, unless you have black hair and facial hair. Facial hair gives you an instant pass. You can't say more than 50 words a minute, and you must not get overly excited about anything. You can't dance like you want to; you have to act like you have no rhythm. You must have a bad back, chew tobaccco sometimes, and definitely drink beer. Oh, you have to like cars and sports, and want to talk about cars and sports all day long.

    icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidIf everything about you exudes being of the male gender. You can't wear pink shirts or white pants, unless you have black hair and facial hair. Facial hair gives you an instant pass. You can't say more than 50 words a minute, and you must not get overly excited about anything. You can't dance like you want to; you have to act like you have no rhythm. You must have a bad back, chew tobaccco sometimes, and definitely drink beer. Oh, you have to like cars and sports, and want to talk about cars and sports all day long.

    icon_wink.gif


    Heh that was good. i'll add:

    - You can't be pee-shy
    - You fart or belch without shame, regardless of the company or venue
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Jun 17, 2010 3:23 PM GMT
    A photographer named Chad States did a great series called Masculinities that explores this topic:

    I posted in vaious locations of craigslist the question "are you masculine". I tried to cast a wide of net as possible in the areas of craigslist in which I posted. For those who answer my posting I then request to photograph them at their homes. At this point 90% of my respondents never answer back but those who do answer have a strong desire to be a part of the project. I don't pay my models and we meet the first time as strangers. I allow the subjects to completely construct the photograph deciding what to wear and where and how to pose. I mostly just light and compose the photograph.

    He then captioned the photos with what his subjects had to say about why they saw themselves as masculine. The results are really interesting, often hilarious and sometimes poignant.

    state_luke_web.jpg

    Luke: "I am masculine because I abandon women after taking their love. Because when you study Freud you don't let him study you. Because I study philosophy not literature."

    state_michael_web.jpg

    Michael: "In my mind I am masculine. I feel I don't have to prove it to anyone who might think otherwise (I don't care what others think)."

    There's more on his website: http://chadstates.com/.
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidActually, I see nothing "manly" about sitting around all day watching football.

    If you want to do it, fine. . . there's nothing wrong with it.

    But really LOL, it doesn't make you a man. . . though plenty of st8 guys seem to think so.

    These same guys couldn't run around the block or do ten push-ups if their life depended on it. . .


    Eating potato skins stuffed with bacon and drinking too much beer during football games sort of means you might have trouble running around the block.

    Watching football is not "manly". Playing football is.



  • Android17

    Posts: 346

    Jun 17, 2010 3:28 PM GMT
    Men's that doesn't want to watch Sex and the City 2 on theater, maybe hide on his own house and alone.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jun 17, 2010 3:31 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidLet me repeat what I said on another post about masculinity:

    You know, it seems that I was told all my life that I was a fag, and I couldn't figure out why they kept saying that. I had (in my childhood, anyway) not slept with a guy nor was I interested in doing so, but I had this really short fuse, this really high voice, this really skinny bod, and this really thin skin. I remember having a near-nervous breakdown at the age of thirteen because I had cried to my father about being picked on like this, and all my father said was: 'They're calling you what they see; stop acting like a fag and they will stop.' When I told him I couldn't even figure out what it was that made them think I was acting like a fag, his brilliant response was: 'If you even have to ask if what you are doing is faggoty, then it is.' He'll never know how that froze me in my tracks and kept me from doing anything that made me happy. He'll never know how half the fights I started in school (most of which got me suspended in house) were me fighting against HIS voice my mind and not the jeers I was actually hearing. And he'll never know how the varsity letter I finally earned in high school for swimming was supposed to be some kid of a whack-ass shield behind which I could hide from him.

    Deprogramming myself from that kind of thinking has taken years, but that I have been able to do so and live comfortably in my own skin without having to ask if what I am doing is "faggoty" is the ultimate assertion of my masculinity. The voice may still be high, the bod may still be skinny, and the skin may still be thin, but I have emotionally and psychologically come into my own, which makes me not only a grown-up, but a hell of a mentally and emotionally tough one... and THAT makes me feel more like a man than anything else ever could or will.




    Wow! I am sorry that you had to endure all of that Adam. I am glad that you have overcame that and became a bigger man than the ones calling you names will ever be! It is funny that Jesse James and Tiger Woods are called 'real' men and we who do things right are referred to as less. I am kind and polite to people I know and don't know. I go to work and pay my bills and taxes on time or ahead of time. My condo is neat and clean. My Jeep is not a menace on the road. I think with all those qualities, I consider myself a 'real' man no matter who I have sex with (or not)!
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    To be masculine you have to be 5´5", weigh 220lb, reject false belief systems and eat, eat, eat.

    If you are not then move on, You are tiny and have low self esteem. Therefore not masculine
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    Jun 17, 2010 3:35 PM GMT
    [quote]Wow! I am sorry that you had to endure all of that Adam. I am glad that you have overcame that and became a bigger man than the ones calling you names will ever be![/quote]

    To me that's the biggest take-away here. A person who calls another names like "fag" or whatever is saying volumes more about their self than the target of their abuse. This all hinges from fear, and as soon as you realize that it takes away a lot of the abuser's ammo (assuming they don't have an actual weapon).
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:26 PM GMT
    Masculinity isn’t easy to define.

    I am what I am.

    As a teen, I was always concerned how others perceived my manliness. At this point in my life…I couldn’t give a damn. I define what I am.

    I accept others as they are. Some men don’t. Some men have their own definition, and I let them have it.

    But when they try to push their opinion on me, and try to negate or marginalize me…then we have a problem.

    Another man’s opinion doesn’t offer me dignity. It is mine, and nobody can take it from me.
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    That's easy! Masculinity is not Perez Hilton.
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    I think the only way to define masculinity and prove it would be through mathematical induction.

    Here goes...

    Oh fuck it nevermind.
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    Android17 saidMen's that doesn't want to watch Sex and the City 2 on theater, maybe hide on his own house and alone.


    So a man is someone who hides what he likes to avoid being made fun of?
  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Jun 17, 2010 4:41 PM GMT
    Masculinity is basically have male characteristics, mannerisms, the way you talk, interests, stuff like that. Also, it means handling situations with confidence and having the backbone to take care of yourself. That last one is more of separating a boy from a man.

    I don't define myself as a masculine/feminine guy, I'm just a regular guy. Someone mentioned that being thin makes them seem "faggoty" and I have to disagree. I was always a thin dude(and still am) and I don't think that takes away masculinity by any means. If someone is dumb enough to not see that because I don't have big bulging muscles, well they probably aren't worth talking to.

    Bottom line, real guys can do whatever they want and not think about what others think. While I DO like traditional male things: video games, sports, beer + steak lover, rock music fan...there are some things I do like which some people would say is not traditional male: Being the "nice" guy, fan of electronica music, fan of cute animals icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:43 PM GMT
    luvitohateit said
    Android17 saidMen's that doesn't want to watch Sex and the City 2 on theater, maybe hide on his own house and alone.


    So a man is someone who hides what he likes to avoid being made fun of?


    For some guys…yeah. Or they push themselves to be the “ideal” man. Some push it to an extreme.

    Conformity out of fear isn’t very masculine in my eyes.

    Good point!
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    Jun 17, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    flex89 saidThat's easy! Masculinity is not Perez Hilton.


    He´s barely human.