After 20 years of living, I've finally discovered my true identity and it turns out that I'm an ALIEN.

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    Jun 17, 2010 6:14 PM GMT

    Definitely something my parents forgot to mention.

    I was just starting my nightly ritual of grooming before sleep, which consisted of going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, cleansing my face, practicing my duckface, flattering my reflection...you know, those ordinary things humans do. However, as I was sitting on the toilet seat humming with the flow I looked down and suddenly went off key. At first it seemed as though my big black eyes were deceiving me, so I grabbed some toilet paper to investigate and I couldn't deny the green smear that appeared a bit too bright on its white background. Incredible! I urinated lime. This has never happened before.

    Though, instead of panicking something in my heart and brain simultaneously clicked. At that particular eureka moment the puzzling bits of my life all of the sudden made sense. I am an alien and this lavatory incident was just an early sign of my coming of age. This explains everything! Why I've always been teased about my big head, why ever since I was a kid I've had dreams of conquering the universe, why I look for videos that satisfy my anal probing fetish, why I have never been able to connect well with humans (their brains are not aligned properly to receive my signals), why I occasionally talk about myself in third person, and why technology turns me on.

    I felt so happy about this revelation that I wanted to come out and share it with all of you.

    So, are there any gay aliens out there? Send me a signal.



    P.S. No earthlings please, it's just my preference.


    Okay, so the truth is that it turned out that I was only suffering from an excess of vitamin B. But now I'm thinking about experimenting with certain foods just to see if I could pee a rainbow. Maybe it would help if I was girl and waiting for the right time or maybe I should give myself an excuse to overdose on skittles. Imagine the new slogan, "Skittles: Pee the Rainbow". How sweet would that be?


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    Jun 17, 2010 8:55 PM GMT
    lol I got your signal all the way from here lol that sounds really cool and maybe you are an alien and if your going to the moon plzz take me with you im sick of earth hahaicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 17, 2010 9:14 PM GMT
    LMAO... (the rainbow part - priceless)
    And yes... not so much an alien, but here in the UK, when I say I actually hate the taste of bear and alcohol everyone gives me the 'burn that child of satan' look...
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    Jun 17, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    i didnt make it past practicing duckface in the mirror


    i lolled. so loudly. amazingicon_lol.gif
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    Jun 17, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
    LP88 said"Skittles: Pee the Rainbow". How sweet would that be?
    I can tell you, after tasting your pee, not so sweet.
  • gumbosolo

    Posts: 382

    Jun 17, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    Lime color or flavor?

    Either way, this is astonishing. Do you have no photos or does your species look like the "No Photos" guy?

    Hurry up and start a civil rights movement, yo.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jun 18, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said
    LP88 said"Skittles: Pee the Rainbow". How sweet would that be?
    I can tell you, after tasting your pee, not so sweet.

    lawd ... * gayfaces
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    Jun 18, 2010 8:28 AM GMT
    Greetings, Earthlings!

    Oh we are not allowed to reveal our true image, gumbosolo. We like to remain as discreet as possible as it helps with our plan of taking over the world. Make the humans think that they are the ruling species while we gradually control the minds of their leaders. Though, to give you a hint, have you not noticed the number of pictureless profiles that has increasingly infested RealJock? As that human saying goes, "One step at a time, baby!"

    Mickey, I thought that if I did overdose on skittles my blood sugar level would be so over the top that glucose would escape through into the 'mixture' and make it taste sweet but since you seem to have the experience I'll take your claim that it won't. icon_smile.gif

    Now, excuse me earthlings, I must send out signals to a guy named Xenu. Apparently he's like some important alien god or something. I think he might be busy because, since hours ago, he still hasn't answered yet.

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    Jun 19, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    An alien from planet Schizophrenia.. I've seen some of them before. icon_twisted.gif