Running Blind

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 6:06 AM GMT
    What up boys,

    Just gunna give you a nice lil life story and then see what you guys think of my situation.

    I'm 18, In the closet, In my first year as an engineer at the university of Regina(250, 000 pop.) I've dated a guy for 16 months and broke up a couple months ago. I love to ski and I run hurdles for the university.

    I don't want to say i'm stuck in Regina but I've never been exposed to what being gay is really like. I have two gay friends and other than that i really haven't seen or experienced anything in the gay scene. The relationship had it's ups and opened my eyes to some things, but I had to cut it short because i wasn't going to keep dating him because he's the only gay guy i know. I feel like i live in my lil secluded gay world. I'm starting to seriously think of leaving everything I've ever known just to live in a gay community for a while, meet some people and maybe even find my groove somewhere.

    I don't know what it's like elsewhere. Don't get me wrong I've been fortunate enough to travel many places but i want to see the gay side of things. I have an idea what it might be like away from home.My problem lies in the fact that i don't plan on outing myself here and finding the odd 5 gay kids kickin' around Regina and i might not even enjoy their company.

    I think you guys know where i'm coming from here.

    I have a lot here: live with the rents, free food, track pays for my school, I get grants from the province, and a 2x minimum wage job in the summer.

    Do I wait till i'm done school etc, etc.

    I will ultimately make my own decision and i'm hoping you guys can help me explore some options.

    thanks for your time,
    (feel free to ask me some shit if it will help you understand more)

    Justin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 6:32 AM GMT
    I'd say focus on your studies first. Then settle somewhere else after graduation.

    The gay scene will always be there and within your reach. For now, going on hollies will do. Book yourself for a gay cruise or travel to a different state / country on a Mardi Gras.

    Would you live in your favorite restaurant in lieu of homeicon_question.gif
  • cdnclub

    Posts: 79

    Feb 06, 2008 4:44 PM GMT
    I think Zimatar gave you great advise. Concentrate on school, and enjoy a vacation that has a gay component to it. Most cities you might visit, or tropical destinations like Puerto Vallarta will have a gay nite life. There are probley a number of gay ppl in your area that you could get in touch with, through gay.com, or some other site in your area as well. Best of luck to you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2008 5:07 AM GMT
    yeah, i agree. i have/had a similar situation, myself. i live in the smallest, most conservative county(though really it's more like and affluent suburb of dallas), in possibly the most homophobic state in the country(texas), and although i am out, and very much proud of it, i only feel truly uninhibited around my true peers(that would totally be italicized, if it were possible). but for me, being surrounded solely by straight people is not the end of the world(thank god, for the past year has been just that..), straight people have their merits too, but really that only came with being comfortable in my own skin, which in my case DID require some gay peers, to coax me out.

    my advice;
    Wait until you are done with school, and settle somewhere more comfortable. or transfer schools, when you are at a more mobile point.

    and the vacation thing is a good idea, but the cruise seems a little.. i don't even know.
  • art_smass

    Posts: 960

    Jun 01, 2008 5:32 AM GMT
    Since I'm a prairie boy, too, I know how you feel. Nevertheless, I don't know how I'd cope if I lived in a city whose name rhymes with "vagina." Just typing that made me feel dirty.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 01, 2008 8:15 AM GMT
    You're just 18...
    (cute as hell too - I'm jealous) icon_mad.gif

    but everybody's right
    you have all the time in the world
    get your education out of the way
    don't rush anything the gay boys will be there
    and more than likely your schooling will take you where you need to go eventually
  • redheaded_dud...

    Posts: 408

    Jun 01, 2008 1:57 PM GMT
    I was in the closet 'til after college, and was scared to go out to "gay" events. Frankly, I'm glad I waited a while to mature a bit, and have postpone the gay "lifestyle". By the time college was done and I was starting to come out, I was a little less "wild". That was a good thing.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2008 2:03 PM GMT
    Regina eh? I can imagine that cannot be great for a gay night life, I am glad you have met a few gay friends at least.

    Don't worry about trying to immerse yourself in a gay community as yet, there will be time for that after you graduate. You will still be very young (22 I would think) and more mature to handle the positives and negatives of a gay community.

    The only reason I would personally switch schools was for educational reasons, and no other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
    track_boi saidWhat up boys,

    Just gunna give you a nice lil life story and then see what you guys think of my situation.

    I'm 18, In the closet, In my first year as an engineer at the university of Regina(250, 000 pop.) I've dated a guy for 16 months and broke up a couple months ago. I love to ski and I run hurdles for the university.

    I don't want to say i'm stuck in Regina but I've never been exposed to what being gay is really like. I have two gay friends and other than that i really haven't seen or experienced anything in the gay scene. The relationship had it's ups and opened my eyes to some things, but I had to cut it short because i wasn't going to keep dating him because he's the only gay guy i know. I feel like i live in my lil secluded gay world. I'm starting to seriously think of leaving everything I've ever known just to live in a gay community for a while, meet some people and maybe even find my groove somewhere.

    I don't know what it's like elsewhere. Don't get me wrong I've been fortunate enough to travel many places but i want to see the gay side of things. I have an idea what it might be like away from home.My problem lies in the fact that i don't plan on outing myself here and finding the odd 5 gay kids kickin' around Regina and i might not even enjoy their company.

    I think you guys know where i'm coming from here.

    I have a lot here: live with the rents, free food, track pays for my school, I get grants from the province, and a 2x minimum wage job in the summer.

    Do I wait till i'm done school etc, etc.

    I will ultimately make my own decision and i'm hoping you guys can help me explore some options.

    thanks for your time,
    (feel free to ask me some shit if it will help you understand more)
    First of all I want to say how fucking proud I am of you for going engineer! That rocks on so many levels!
    Second, you could live without the gay scene.
    You are gay, and that is fine. What you need to do is gear up for career and find love at the same time.
    The scene don't mean shit. You are the scene in whatever matter you choice to live.
    Do not do drug, enjoy your life, and find love...then you are good to go.
    From my experience, I love a simple life with simple pleasures.
    Good luck to you.
    Justin