Marry me so I can go abroad and have lots of money!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 12:05 PM GMT
    No, no... not me. icon_razz.gif I'm celibate.

    Seriously though, just curious, is this what you guys automatically think when you see guys like me who come from a third world country?

    I've seen the spam (I think I got one a while back from a dude with broken english when I first joined RJ). When we still had no internet (due to our house being way off the service range of the ISP's here, we're connected now of course), I've been to internet cafes and seen gay guys/skanky girls try to hook some poor foreigner over the internet. All the while gossiping with each other about how hot their catch was (or how rich). I've seen old foreign guys with scandalously young guys/girls clinging on their arms as they walk around tourist spots here.

    I don't wonder at all why we got such a bad reputation.

    But then again, there are people like me who CAN afford a ticket abroad, thank you. I've got relatives and a sister abroad. Skilled, not at all ignorant, middle class, intelligent (genius even! nobody groan or I'll blast your head off with my newly invented super duper head-blaster gun) and deadly icon_twisted.gif. My english is good (both written and spoken) and most errors I make are the result of hasty typing or just plain absentmindedness. And most of all, I'm not here for dating/hookups/camsex/chatsex/keyboardsex/mousesex/catsex/etc.sex. (unless I can get my teleporter working again, of course icon_rolleyes.gif )


    I've tried to feel the undercurrents of the general attitude here towards southeast asians/south asians/africans/east europeans, and I can definitely feel a little odd vibe. Not me mostly, thankee be jeesus, but fellow asians and others. Y'know, kinda like the "skip that guy, he's a stalker/chaser/spammer/idiot". I know... I'm an idiot, LOL, but that's beside the point.

    I'm even afraid to message people. I'm not averse to a little naughty flirting, as long as both know it's just that. I still wonder sometimes if the guy at the other end is thinking that I'm really serious? icon_eek.gif

    Of course, might just be my imagination/paranoia acting up, but meh.

    Ok this is not meant to incite drama and promote gayness and feline brawling. So please don't flame me... or I swear I'ma scratch your eyes out! *hiss*icon_evil.gif

    When you see a guy who comes from a third world country, do you automatically assume he is predatory? Coz there sure are times when I feel like the invisible twit or the evil dirty little savage. LOL Brushing off is cool (i.e. "You're not my type, so I really don't want to talk to you again"), but do you treat everybody that way? Like, would you ignore an email as easily if it came from an ugly European guy rather than from an ugly Asian guy from Thailand (If they were both equally ugly, of course, icon_lol.gif )? What are your thoughts on these... umm... mail-order gold-diggers?icon_neutral.gif

    Is this just another of those weird prejudices a lot of gay men here seem to have? i.e. The "I will not talk to smokers/poz/neg/older/younger/closeted/fat/fem/other races/bi/etc." kinda thing?

    Honest opinions please. And don't bother telling me I'm ugly. Trust me, I know. LOL

    P.S. Ok this is drama, I shouldn't have posted this. I can see the torches burning from my castle walls... icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 12:18 PM GMT
    OK first off.... If you call yourself ugly ONE more time I'm gonna have to come there and draw all over you in purple pink and that horrid split pea soup green! Your not ugly icon_evil.gif!

    Second, dont take it personally if people choose to ignore or refuse your mail/messages, happens to me alot too but I just brush off the brush-off lol.

    Everyone has their quirks about who they wanna talk to. Some want only to talk to other jocks, some want to only talk to white/black/asian/old/young. I just figure that if they don't want to talk to me then I'm probably better off in the longrun, less drama and all.

    Besides I have found that there are more guys on here who will take the time to respond to you even if it is just a hi, hello, or to thank you for the compliments.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 12:55 PM GMT
    Sorry, their lossicon_rolleyes.gif

    That narrows down the potential partners who can "LOVE THEM LONG TIME" icon_lol.gif

    Living in the Middle East, it sort of baffles me to see young Asians with older Caucasians as couples ALL THE TIME. I think it's the same thing with straights... I originally come from Angeles City and being close to now-former Clark Air Base, you see these retirees locked arms with very young Filipinas who are barely out of their teens (or are they?). I begin to think that in order for you to be a young couple here, I suppose, you should have the same economic status/income bracket.

    I have never look at the factors with much attention but to me, having been in the Middle East for 7 years now, I think it's the need of someone (Asians) to be with someone more stable (older Caucasians). I do not really know how to say this in a politically correct manner but I am speaking from honest experience. Asian expats here struggle as the salary structure is on the basis of your passport. This is one reason I hate this country.

    All my friends are mostly Brits with the same age and job as me, but hell, they are given three times as much plus other extras just 'cos they are Brits and whites. For the same post! It hurts that it costs you to more to keep the friendship and their company, since it's always Dutch treat with them. I know for a fact that whenever a gay couple or let's just say in general "a couple", an Asian and a Westerner go out, everyone assumes that it's the Westener who will foot the bill, ALL THE TIME! It's sad but it's the "in-your-face" truth kind of a thing. Excuse me guys but I will just have to ask Sedative14 to translate this to English "Ang hirap makipagsabayan sah kanilah."

    One example I can vouch for (since I've worked in a hospital here before )as a concrete example is on the pay scale of nurses: say a South African and an Indian. Same job position, same workload but wayyyy too much difference in pay and benefits.

    I was just having the same discussion with an RJ friend here before I saw this post about what depresses me in this place. That's why those who as me about the prospects of moving here, I just feel ambivalent as I am sure I will be giving out a different perspective as it is coming from me and my status as an Asian expat.

    You would also be surprised that they give a different pay scale if say you are an American citizen but look Asian, or clearly with Asian origin. It just sucks.

    Of course you have people telling you why don't you go elsewhere? Hmm... easy for you to say since your U.S. or ECC passport makes it easier for you already.

    Anyway, c'est la vieicon_neutral.gif





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 1:02 PM GMT
    Well Sedative, I totally understand you when you speak about that odd little vibe. Phew! I thought I was the only idiot who felt like that. However it is possible it is just paranoia. I'm generally shy until I get to know somebody. But over here, the thought of messaging someone brings about a shooting pain in my left arm (Hey if you grew up watching Indian movies you'd be equally dramaticicon_biggrin.gif). I'm shit scared of approaching anyone here. The fact that they are all so fabulous doesn't help either. I finally initiated a discussion in the forum after weeks of deliberationicon_eek.gif

    BUT I HAVE APPROACHED PEOPLE. One has replied. So I guess its open to interpretation.

    If the stigma exists however, I don't blame them. I don't know much about my fellow countrymen being gold diggers, but MOST of them have no pics, nothing on their profile and because I have a pic assume that I am available for sex with just about anyone.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Feb 05, 2008 2:20 PM GMT
    Sedative, I think is a huge difference between you, and the guys that have profiles on here for the purposes, it seems, of 'bagging a foreigner'.

    You engage in conversation in the forums. You don't spend your time emailing and IMing random guys. In the few weeks I've been on here, I've had about 10 asians IM me, terrible English and all, wanting to be 'friends', asking for all my personal contact information, and wanting to cam.

    We like to poke fun at them, like in the 'weirdest message you've ever received' thread, but really, who could blame them? If I were in their shoes, I probably do whatever it takes to get out of that sort of living situation too.

    RJ has over 100 000 members, but how many of them post regularly? 50? 100? It's a small community, so those regular posters will see a big difference between you and those random emailers, so I think your chances of getting a positive response to an email or IM is good.

    On thing I wouldn't do if I were you, would be to start an email or IM stating that you're not like one of those 'other' guys. Maintain your integrity, and if someone wants to stereotype you, well, it's their loss.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 2:29 PM GMT
    ShawnTO said Maintain your integrity, and if someone wants to stereotype you, well, it's their loss.


    See? Exactly my first statementicon_wink.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 05, 2008 10:19 PM GMT
    You cannot blame them. A lot of Asian boy in country like Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia or Philipines are desperate to live in the more richer ,sexually liberated Western country and view this older , overweight White guys as a ticket to better life. If I am an older American going to the East I be more than careful about dating this younger opportunistic kids. My ex bf now live in Western Australia after that older men brought him there give him education and now owning a succesful restaurant there. A remarkable success from being a waiters, unemployed street kid in Kuala Lumpur.

    Of course there a genuine love story between older white guys and sleazy Asian boys. But most of them is just like you said "Marry me , take me abroad , give me a better life , help me escape this poor crowded country and help me became a resident of your country"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2008 10:47 PM GMT
    I don't think anything. I dated a guy from Brazil. I am dating a guy from Spain now and will be moving there in June.

    No matter who you are, you should have enough integrity to want to take responsibility for your own actions. Unless you find a sugar daddy with lots of money trees in the back yard. I wish you the best and hope you fall in love with someone you want to share the rest of your life with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2008 3:36 AM GMT
    zakariahzol saidYou cannot blame them. A lot of Asian boy in country like Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia or Philipines are desperate to live in the more richer ,sexually liberated Western country and view this older , overweight White guys as a ticket to better life.

    But most of them is just like you said "Marry me , take me abroad , give me a better life , help me escape this poor crowded country and help me became a resident of your country"



    It's pretty much the dilemma gays face as promiscuous people, I suppose. Our predicament as Asians is just twice as hard than it already isicon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2008 7:23 AM GMT
    zimatar
    Excuse me guys but I will just have to ask Sedative14 to translate this to English "Ang hirap makipagsabayan sah kanilah."


    zim, umm... "It's so hard to keep up with them", or rather, "It's difficult to fit in" (Is it just me or is my mind green? icon_lol.gif )

    closetsinger, I know how dramatic bollywood can be! LMAO. Heck, even the goriest action movies have the sing and dance routines! LOL Same here, shit-scared. icon_razz.gif

    ShawnTOWe like to poke fun at them, like in the 'weirdest message you've ever received' thread, but really, who could blame them? If I were in their shoes, I probably do whatever it takes to get out of that sort of living situation too.


    zakariahzolYou cannot blame them. A lot of Asian boy in country like Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia or Philippines are desperate to live in the more richer ,sexually liberated Western country and view this older , overweight White guys as a ticket to better life. If I am an older American going to the East I be more than careful about dating this younger opportunistic kids.


    I don't blame them either... but they really aren't really helping our national image *sigh* nor our chances for relationships icon_cry.gif

    rksportswearI wish you the best and hope you fall in love with someone you want to share the rest of your life with.


    Yarr. Thanks icon_razz.gif

    Anyway, yeah, it was pointless bringing this up anyway, LOL, since I'm not dating. I just wanted people to realize that just because they came from a certain place or a certain ethnic background means you have carte blanche to stereotype them as money grubbers. icon_neutral.gif Anywho...

    Freaky, I dunno if I should be flattered or take you up on the offer with the split pea soup skin painting thing... sounds yummy! icon_razz.gif LOL Okay, I'll try to stop saying I'm a butt-ugly scrawny geekling... not saying that I'm not a butt-ugly scrawny geekling, just that I'll stop saying I'm a butt-ugly scrawny geekling. I really shouldn't say butt-ugly scrawny geekling too much. It's just self-depreciating to keep saying butt-ugly scrawny geekling. So yeah, I'll stop saying butt-ugly scrawny geekling. icon_razz.gif

    Oh please, not the purple pink! /me runs away
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Feb 06, 2008 7:57 AM GMT
    ...I would also caution you in anticipating "judgement or stereotyping" from the gay community...

    ...two of my longest relationships where with filipino men...OK...and one of my shortest...

    I don't really relate to online flirting behavior...it seems odd to me...but I also think that could be generational...as I also can't be bothered with texting...so most of my time on RJ is spent reading forum posts...voicing my opinion, etc.

    ...the only reason I might not start up a chat...is more because your 22...as I just tend to gravitate to guys my own age as [usually] we are in the same places in life and can relate easier...

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2008 9:39 AM GMT
    dfrourke..the only reason I might not start up a chat...is more because your 22...as I just tend to gravitate to guys my own age as [usually] we are in the same places in life and can relate easier...


    LOL no. I'm not implying it's just me... icon_redface.gif

    I've only chatted with like 3 people here, and they've initiated it. I was just responding to the posts I've seen, especially from the 'weirdest message you've ever received' thread that Shawn pointed out .

    I agree. I also prefer guys my own age (I've posted that somewhere I think) and roughly the same social and financial status. I'm just a bit weirded out by the condescension I think I detect here. icon_confused.gif
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Feb 06, 2008 4:28 PM GMT
    no condescension...just responding to your post honestly and from my own experience...I find it funny that you put out a topic...seem to speak from your own experience...want people to respond...then when we do...you find it necessary to pick apart all of our responses...

    ...just let the reponses be what they are...we're just responding to about 5 paragraphs of information...obviously you can't possibly illustrate every factor here...

    ...if you are picking up condescension...its unintentional...

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2008 4:42 PM GMT
    to be honest with you sedative I hadnt even looked at your profile until now and hadnt a clue where you were from

    I find it ironic really I am sat here at the second in my little flat in cold old blighty struggling to pay the cost of my bills whilst you are in a beautiful country with stunning landscape and seascape and awesome weather, I think it is I in the 3rd world country not the other way round.

    I rarely notice peoples colour I just dont see it as an issue unfortunately for others they may live a life of restricted experiences where they dont integrate with other cultures and that leads to stereotyping and ignorance.

    All I see is a young guy, with stunning eyes and a great smile thats eager to learn and eager to start training.

    When you get that transporter working can you transport here and I will transport there!!!!

    I personaly love the fact that we are able to chew the breeze even if a million miles apart
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2008 8:29 AM GMT
    dfrourkeI find it funny that you put out a topic...seem to speak from your own experience...want people to respond...then when we do...you find it necessary to pick apart all of our responses...

    ...just let the reponses be what they are...we're just responding to about 5 paragraphs of information...obviously you can't possibly illustrate every factor here...


    Okay, sorry icon_redface.gif

    And a cookie for bfg. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    in my experience, guys from third world countries are adorable. One gets the odd asshole, but generally they are very affectionate and HOT - anyone listening?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2008 10:38 AM GMT
    Sedative14... this is for you and your well-received threadicon_razz.gif
    [url][/url]

    I'll sing to you my rendition... in FILIPINO!!!
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif