working on comic/anime

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    Comic/game/animation i write and drawing.
    .

    THE STORY (Without giving away too much icon_razz.gif)

    On a distance planet There are 3 species that rule it. These species go through cycles of life similar to butterfly but a physical event has to occur to the evolve to happen. A baby is born who is the (Main) character. all birth are monitored and babies of this races have to eat a pill that forces them to gain powers from orbs or they will die. also this pill prevents them from evolving to the final form of the species (a example would be changing into a butterfly or maggot to fly). the (Main) father and mother took their baby into the forest to hide out and begin training him. while training the (main) keep evolving and getting stronger. The military find out about this child and because a law states that all children MUST join the military at a certain form (or stage of life) they go hunt him down. when they find their hiding place the (Main) father tried to stop but was shot and dragged away. This event enraged the (Main) and he evolved to the final form of his species and the pill he took at birth didn't kill him. This worried the military men a bit but they figured they could use him so they kidnapped his mother and told him he had to join the military or his mother would be killed too and they left before he could respond. He decided he should join.
    when he made it outside the hiding place he entered the castle and was told what the military objective was and was locked into a prison until enrollment started. while locked in the prison the (Main) found out that his father was once king but traded on the nation. Also he found out that he was the heir to the Thorn due to a deal made by his father and the current king. the current king is unaware of his status as the child who was suppose to replace him was suppose to be killed.
    after leaving the prison with this information he knew he was use this military to get stronger to avenge his father and gain the thorn back. The objective of his race in the military to to go out and collect orbs which give the species on their planet powers (x-ray vision, clocking, summoning, fire ball, ice breath, ect) and come back to the planet for some of the orbs to be extracted from their bodies and giving to other. The pill was created to ensure the species had to collect a certain amount of orbs in a time limit and return to the planet or they will die. And the pill also has a fail safe in it that if too many orbs are collected and absorb that creature will explode.

    ....................

    a few characters:
    *The (Main) guy: is further evolved for his generation since the pill was invented. he uses speed and is powerful. he good on land, in water or space but doesn't do well in air combat

    *The Prince on the rules race side: doesn't like the main because hes a different species, hes strong, he likes his sister, hes a overall ass and lastly he slowly start to believe his is the supposedly dead child and thus must kill him if it is true to not lose his royal status

    *the boyfriend of the Prince: is a strong warrior who has a bad temper, a fliers

    *The Princess: is love with the main even those they are 2 different races, she is very aggressive and violent even though she a healer type she know more about the main then the king knows

    *Friend of Main: a little guy who get pick on allot. the main end up protecting him allot. hes a rage type that get stronger based on emotions and used brute force.

    *Friend of Main: a guy who kinda disfigured for his species. this happen as a result of his father making him change forms by force. his excels in poisonous techniques

    *Friend of Main: a tall guy who is smart. he a scientific son and master of machines. he does have poison arts and not allot is really know about him

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Military

    Is divided in to 9 divisions. The leader of all division make all the decision for the planet along with the 9 members of the ruling families.Mostly all of the ruling family hold poisons in the one or more of the different divisions of the military. The are 3 species that rule the planet and the king position can only belong to one of them. While waiting for the main to be born his father allowed someone else to temporary hold the title of king and that person started a war and turn around and blamed the (Main)s father so he kept the status and attempted to murder the unborn child. The new king now assumes the Child was dead and the main character is the little brother of the kid he killed which excludes him from the title of king. The new king now forces the other species to go hunt orbs for their army to get stronger. These orbs have to be absorbs and when absorbed the give the species of the planet unbelievable powers. after collecting them they return to the home planet and the orbs are extracted from their bodies and the pill is removed as well enabling them to live the rest of their life as normal. they have to travel to different planets or even stars to collect these orbs and until the pill is removed from their bodies they have certain limitations


    fully edited.. i hope..icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    I like the story line, but man, the evil guys are always gay and non-fem icon_sad.gif
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    Jun 22, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    lol, thanks for comment.

    yeah i wanted him to be mascalent a long time ago
    as well as his boy friend is very macho. their are some other feminate guy ..
    the main character girlfirend is kinda macho but shes also striaght

    .... also their sexulity isnt a main point in the story although it does exist in background... probally use it to fill up space before major battles
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    Jun 22, 2010 4:47 AM GMT
    I like drawing and comic too.I think the story you described is very very commonplace.And it totally could happen on earth.Sorry. but i'll be very appriciated if you can give advices on my drawing.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jun 22, 2010 9:35 AM GMT
    Going to post any pics of your work.??

    I was only good at drawing. Never really good at coming up with stories. I have half stories and half backgrounds for several characters I created floating in my head.
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    Jun 22, 2010 9:54 AM GMT
    Yeah you should post some pics icon_razz.gif and mynyun....is have to admit....is good at drawing icon_razz.gif

    But yeah the story sounds good and i would read it if it was published
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Jun 22, 2010 11:00 AM GMT
    Is the army's goal to collect the power-up devices...? What are these things that are worth dispatching a whole army against? And what motifs does the enemy faction have for opposing them? Why is the antagonist evil? Or rather, what actions are considered evil in the realm, why are they considered evil and why does he perform these "evil" actions?

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    Jun 24, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    thats a better description of story, hope its liked from what little bit i mention also any more question ask i'll be happy to answer
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Jun 24, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    Some parts of the text are very confusing and I had to guess what you were trying to write.

    It’s still unclear to me why the antagonist wants to kill the protagonist. In one part of the text I’m reading that the King was labeled a traitor and was replaced, which would mean that he and his heir can not regain the throne; regardless if the heir is born or not, unless the people somehow revolt against the current King or the alike. The throne should now belong to the current King and his heir, but for some reason the King fears that the protagonist will take over his throne? As for him not liking him; when did these two meet for the antagonist to build up this image of the protagonist? What did the protagonist do/not do that filled the antagonist with so much anger that he decided he wanted to kill the protagonist?

    Is the protagonist in the army of the King, or in another army? If he is in the King’s army it sounds like it should be pretty easy for the King to dispose of him. Why did the army kill his father? Why did they have to kidnap the mother to convince him to join the army? If the military is the ruling force, wouldn’t it be enough to threaten to kill the mother or take their house?

    What is the army trying to accomplish? Are they collecting these orbs or are they attempting to kill the protagonist? If the kingdom is about to go to war against another world, why are they spending military power to kill one person?

    I’m also uncertain what this “posion” is referring to. And metapod, the Pokémon…?

    The storyline sounds very much like a game. It’s not necessarily something bad, I’ve seen several comics with game-esque story-lines turning out to be great comics; but I’ve seen all the more comics with a gamelike story that fail. Games can still be interesting in spite of a bad story because they have an interactive part to them; comics do not, which makes it all the more important to put a lot of effort in making an interesting story, character development and, in my opinion, a spice of uniqueness to make it stand out in comparison to other comics.

    I hope this doesn’t sound too offensive but I think that if you want to make a comic, you should at least get a good grasp of basic grammar rules and spelling; alternatively get someone who can proofread and rewrite your dialogue and story-line. I’m not saying the comic has to be in essay-form, I’m just saying that if you do not even adhere to basic grammar rules, readers can easily become confused and misunderstand what you’re trying to say.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jun 24, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    Well one important thing is to have a collective mind when approaching something like this. A group of to throw ideas around with, either with you or here even. One starts with an idea and throws it around to see how it can spin. In comics simple ideas and stories are good. One shots. But they can also develop into something more later on.
    This is one thing I lack. Having a group sound board. But then again I don't really trust many others with my ideas because I don't want someone running off with them and getting them off the ground before I can.
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    Jun 25, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    @mynyun this is the reason why im trying to be vage yet tell what the comic is about. fear of someone running off with story would suck but i dont know if anyone would find it worth it at same time. i dont really know what else your talking about... does it seem to random or too much happening in begining....


    @buddah...

    i just edited first post... seem simiplier... hope i fill in some of the gaps in story
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2010 11:40 PM GMT
    thanks for input and i modified my discription to make more sences or at least i think it does
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    Jun 26, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    I just don't understand why nowdays the main character has to have some hidden royal status... (cliche). To me I think an audience would have more appreciation of an average guy who looks around and notices how f-ed up everything is and decides to make a change.

    It's your thing though so don't let my thoughts guide you at all
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2010 1:06 AM GMT
    a royal main character is hard to pull off i know and but maybe since his speices is looked down upon would help balance that that... royal but speices is consided weak, cheap labor, stupid and untrustworthy and even though he royal he doesnt get much respect from anyone including his own speices. they basically aknowledge his power and status and act like its nothing

    . (expamle would be like getting saved by apache chief... "yeah you saved my life but where is superman.. wheres your heat vision... oh you grow bigger... thats it...what happens if your mouth is taped... LAME!!.. ill wait here for a real superhero) (bad exmaple lol)