First Date EVER!

  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jun 22, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    Hey Guys!

    I'm finally am going on a date it's my first one EVER! I have so many questions 1.) Is Starbucks a good place to meet for the 1st time? 2.) What should I wear? Should I be casual or should I wear a button-down shirt? 3.) Should I ask my date (What are you looking for?). Ahh I'm so nervous yet excited at the same time. I've never have been on a date before yet I'm afraid of getting hurt due to past experiences with men.

    Background info on this guy:
    21 yrs old, former college athlete, attending pharm school in the fall, and is really sweet.

    Only problem: I don't know if he wants a relationship or what. He says that he really likes talking to me and hasn't brought up sex at all so does that mean he wants something more?

    Sorry for all the Questions....I'm so lost icon_rolleyes.gif

    Thanks!!
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Jun 22, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    Aww. Congrats on having your first date ever. I remember how nervous I was on my first date with a guy (which was many moons ago when I used to be young and naive).

    I know it'll be hard but don't put too much pressure on yourself. Wear whatever you feel most comfortable in....casual dress should be fine.

    Starbucks is a good first meeting place since it'll give you guys plenty of opportunity to talk and then based on how things go, you can gauge whether you want another date or not.

    Definitely figure out your date's intentions but if they're not what you hope, don't sweat it. Just look at your date as a potential new friend. Most important is to have fun.

    Just my two cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2010 4:07 AM GMT
    Congrats on your first date. I agree with Midas, remember to have fun.
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    Jun 22, 2010 5:39 AM GMT
    That's adorable.

    He agreed on the date because he likes you, so don't worry to much about how it will go. Just let your smile take over.

    The best dates I've been on just sort of evolved from wherever we met, so meet somewhere and let the date take you wherever you go next.

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    Jun 22, 2010 5:53 AM GMT
    I think you guys should go too the moon, that's a memorable date.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 22, 2010 6:21 AM GMT
    my best advice is to stop asking question about what you should do. this is a date, not 50 questions. when you go to a party and you start talking to a stranger, you let the conversation and mood guide it. put yourself in that mindset. show up to a place that you like, wearing what makes you feel comfortable and think makes you look good, and let the mood dictate what you talk about.
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    Jun 22, 2010 7:27 AM GMT
    How is it that this is your first date ever, and you already have had bad experiences with men?

    I'm not being confrontational/bitchy, I'm just curious.
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    Jun 22, 2010 7:35 AM GMT
    I have nothing to add, because I've never been on one, other than a big
    a1af91fd22bb4a3daef7be2ce3756e8f_congrat
    Have fun and remember to play safe. icon_wink.gif




    (and let us know how it turned out)
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jun 22, 2010 8:09 AM GMT
    1. try and not think abut sex on the date it will make it harder for you to actually get to know the guy. 2. the place really doesn't matter, most to all places are good for a first date. (minus a few of course). 3. FINAL THING, BE YOURSELF. what you wear is an expression of you. if you wear a button down shirt on a regular day then wear that. also when talking to him don't over think things and try to think of another question, get lost in the conversation and see how it feels to talk to this man as friend who you are getting to know. once again BE YOURSELF!!! since you guys have already spoken you have a gist on what he's about, just continue to build on what you've already learned about him and stay true. hope this helps you out. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • gjoseph

    Posts: 250

    Jun 22, 2010 3:32 PM GMT
    bobbyboy724 I'll just say this and I've never really told anyone which made me really sad last night but....when I was closeted I pretty much hooked-up with guys (played safe!), I was actually molested by an older man which is why I have some bent-up feelings about them. I have never told anyone any of this except my therapist. I never had anything emotional due to the fact of them not wanting anything more. In turn, I started getting depressed and started gaining weight. I was terrified of having a relationship due to being home and not knowing what I want, and who I am.

    Ever since I came-out when I arrived in college I feel so much better. I'm in a much better "place" with myself currently and am ready for a significant other. I have more confidence in myself, better self-esteem, and realized how life is too-short. I participated in drag shows for charity and was featured on the front page of my University's newspaper. I even have queens wanting me to perform at the local bars haha! Anyways, I just hope for something better and am grateful to a certain extent all of my life experiences.
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Jun 23, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    gjoseph saidbobbyboy724 I'll just say this and I've never really told anyone which made me really sad last night but....when I was closeted I pretty much hooked-up with guys (played safe!), I was actually molested by an older man which is why I have some bent-up feelings about them. I have never told anyone any of this except my therapist. I never had anything emotional due to the fact of them not wanting anything more. In turn, I started getting depressed and started gaining weight. I was terrified of having a relationship due to being home and not knowing what I want, and who I am.

    Ever since I came-out when I arrived in college I feel so much better. I'm in a much better "place" with myself currently and am ready for a significant other. I have more confidence in myself, better self-esteem, and realized how life is too-short. I participated in drag shows for charity and was featured on the front page of my University's newspaper. I even have queens wanting me to perform at the local bars haha! Anyways, I just hope for something better and am grateful to a certain extent all of my life experiences.
    Wow. I'm really glad you were able to get past what happened and be in a better place. I myself was molested by an older boy when I was 9 and that left me confused for a long time. I mostly internalized the incident and only years ago was able to talk about it to others.

    So on to happier things...So when is the date? Inquiring minds wanna know. icon_biggrin.gif