You met ONLINE, then met in Person?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 1:21 AM GMT
    How MANY guys have you met ONLINE and eventually met them in PERSON?

    Would you consider most of them:

    1) one night stands?

    2) casual friends?

    3) long term friends?

    4) relationship material?
    (ie. a boyfriend)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 1:24 AM GMT
    Hmm..well I've met a number of guys from online in person. Usually, things are fine if the guys is WHO he says he is. Sometimes, I've met guys who showed me images from them 10 years ago, etc., which wasn't too thrilling.

    Some were hookups, some were casual friends, and none of them were long term boyfriends and/or friends.

    They always only wanted one thing. If they didn't get that, they'd keep moving.

    I've never had a HORRIBLE experience from meeting a guy from the net, but I've had disappointing ones lol.

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    Jun 01, 2007 1:39 AM GMT
    I met my last bf on this site. (CASE CLOSED)

    I made some buddies as well, When I was in california 2 weeks ago I meet "fastprof" from this site and we went out for brunch. It was really nice to meet him in person and the thing that struck me the most was his voice. Manly and confident voice. Down to earth and very affectionate. Great experience and would love to meet him again the next time I go out to California.
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    Jun 01, 2007 3:25 AM GMT
    I meet someone online, we continued to talk to each other this way for over six months, (he lived on the other side of the country), when we finally met in person we got along extremely.

    Needless to say we have now been living together for over six years and we are still both very happy.
  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    Jun 01, 2007 4:01 AM GMT
    Funny you should ask.

    My last relationship, which lasted 2 1/2 years, yahoo personals helped me out.

    Since moving home and having to start over with making new friends, my two best friends at this time I met on yahoo personals. I told them before we met it was strickly for hanging out and no sex involved.

    A close friend which I met for sex, 3 weekends in a row back this last December, yahoo personals helped me out again.

    The last 4 guys I've been with sexually, two I consider to be friendship material and I met them on, or myspace.

    What I find strange is guys that say I move too fast when I ask them to lunch or dinner right away. WHY you ask.... because we just met..... WHAT???!!! Give me a break.

  • tu_guy

    Posts: 9

    Jun 01, 2007 5:43 AM GMT
    well, i met one guy who lied about who he was (turned out to be a professor at a nearby college who guest lectured one of my classes, that was fun :X)

    but i did meet a really awesome guy who was just coming out and wanted some friends. we've been really close friends for a couple of years now, have never had any sexual relationship at all, but the better friends we become the more i see how great a guy he is, totally long term relationship material.

    so basically, its a mixed bag. haha, internet is like a box of chocolates(?)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 9:18 AM GMT
    I've met some great guys from online, but mainly through recruiting them for team sports such as rugby.

    After finding myself single after 7 years in 2005, I tried dating using a popular site in the UK. Around 30 dates later, going for coffee or a beer, I hadn't met a single guy with whom I had any chemistry. Perhaps worse, the same number had stood me up or cancelled.

    I find meeting guys through friends and sports a more reliable way to get a date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 1:05 PM GMT
    How MANY? Aw jeez. Are you kidding? Lost count a long time ago. But here's a subjective summary:

    1) 1-nighters - quite a few. In fact, "night" is an overstatement. Many of them were just minutes or hours. Enough to get the job done. ;)

    2) Casual friends - a couple, not too many.

    3) Long term - a very small number, 1 or 2.

    4) Relationship - 2:

    My previous partner & I met on a BBS - the predecessor of the modern internet - you dial up and leave a message, he does the same and returns one, etc. Tedious by today's standards, but about the same net effect. We had some common interests and met up. One thing led to another, and after some months he moved in. It lasted 8 1/2 years (although it was really over in 2 or 3 - ).

    My current partner & I met on AOL in a chat room discussing health & exercise. We chatted largely about that for 18 months, during which time I was ending relationship #1. When it was over, my online buddy suggested I come visit (cross country) for a long weekend to workout with him. When we met, we discovered there was something else going on between us that we had not anticipated. We fell in love the day we met, and spent 9 months flying cross-country and trying to be happy without each other. He moved in Christmas of '99, and it's been amazing ever since.

    The online thing helped us get to know more about each other long before we met, and I think that was a key part of the eventual success of the relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 4:52 PM GMT
    Love this topic. I have meet a handful of guys on this site and another one. A couple have become among my closest friends.

    I have a ridiculously active imagination, so I find it unhelpful to meet someone online for more than friendship. If something happens after that, then cool, but I make it a policy not to date or hook up from guys I meet online.

    So basically, yes I meet guys, but the process might be longer before I will consider anything beyond friendship.

    But I got to be honest, part of the reason I love this site is that few in Barcelona are on it. It makes meeting an almost moot point. But I love the forums and sense of community.

    Now that I have gone in circles for 4 paragraphs...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 6:16 PM GMT
    I'm convinced it's my location. I have not had much success with meeting men online.Yeah most are for sex. For the most part people i meet are never who they say they are. My best hookups off the net have been with guys who didn't have a pic but promised i wouldn't be disappointed.I wasn't! Maybe it's becasue i'm in Omaha but i'm almost to the end of my rope with the net. The thing that attracted me to this site was photos had to be verified. I wish all sites required updated fullbody or face pics. If i had to grade my internet experience over the last 7 years(how long i've been single) i'd give it a D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 01, 2007 9:52 PM GMT
    I have also had mixed results. 2 wins, 1 loss and 1 no show.

    my best friend in college met her husband online.

    i guess it's possible to come across the perfect "one" on line, but i don't think i've found him yet.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jun 01, 2007 10:25 PM GMT
    I've met a few guys online
    ... most of them have been a positive experience a few hook-ups and casual acquaintances were made
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    Jun 01, 2007 11:28 PM GMT
    I have met people online and then met them in real life, 2 of which turned out to be really great friends, 1 of them still is. We met in 2000. I admit that at the time I thought it wasn't possible to meet a, "quality," guy online. I was wrong. Kinda awkward though when we'd meet each others friends/family and they'd ask how we meet because when you say, "Online," their countenance goes from one of interest to this sorta smarmy look. And in both cases it was STRICTLY friendship. Movies, dinner, trips, softball games, going out on the town, never any sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 02, 2007 1:26 AM GMT
    These days you're going to find the same types of people (everyone!) online as you do in the real world. Gone are the days when being online automatically made you a 1) nerd, 2) recluse, 3) weirdo, 4) all of the above. ;-)

    I've met a few guys this way. I dated two for a while (over a year each), a few were hook ups, and a few became acquaintances. No horror stories to report.

    That said, I don't think meeting online is necessarily a good thing. It's 2-dimensional. There's no chemistry, no body language, no locking eyes across the bar, no nervous butterflies as you approach him or he approaches you, etc. In my mind, that's important, vital even.

    Online we reduce others to a checklist of desired traits while working to "market" ourselves most effectively. Is this really a good thing? I think manners have suffered greatly since the Internet boomed. People are rude in email, rude in chat, and hunting for your mate online really encourages you to view people in a somewhat inhuman way.

    Of course being online isn't all bad. ;-) It's a great way to get answers, debate ideas with like-minded people, etc. But I'm not so sure it's the healthiest (mentally speaking) means of establishing friendships or deep personal relationships.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2007 5:37 AM GMT
    Yeah, it's definetly a good thing to go outside, to the real world, once in a while (if not daily).

    I came out "on-line" on a (multi-user) BBS with a gay "room" 22 years ago. For the first year I just read what others said. The BBS held regular FTF (face-to-face) get-togethers, but the only one I recognized from the gay room was someone with real problems (literally, he'd sometimes drool) and that sent me reeling into the closet.
    One day two really cool (and hot!) guys showed up at a happy hour the general BBS held, and I recognized them as members of the gay room. That day, my life changed forever... Met a great group of guys, and one of those first two became my first boyfriend (for 2.5 years). Many of us (gay and str8) from that era are still in touch with each other.

    After breaking up with that bf, I got on to the U's gay chat room and organized some community socials so people could meet in real life. Don't think I ever dated any of them (though one had a really hot cousin with whom I hooked up - twice), but I'm still in touch with many of those guys.

    Met my partner just around the time the web started going mainstream, so I wasn't actively on-line for many years (we're monogamous, so neither of us is looking for hookups).

    About 3 years ago I got onto Initially out of curiousity. Wanted to see how it compared to the on-line communities of decades past. Met a few people, 2 of whom have become very good friends. Also found a bunch of people interested in playing football and this helped form the Michigan Panthers (we played at the Gay Games and our looking forward to our second "Gaybowl" this fall).

    Now I'm here on RealJock. Don't think I've recognized anyone on-line here that I know and haven't met anyone at all.

    I woneder, despite some obvious differences, how different would your answers be regarding people you met at BARS rather than on-line?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 04, 2007 1:29 AM GMT
    I have used the internet to meet people when I moved to Detroit for school. Many of my friends in Detroit are from the net, that way I am not just locked in my small private schools bubble of people.

    Some of my boyfriends are from the internet, many of the best ones I met on Myspace, or Manhunt.

    I think the internet provided me with a good tool to meet people when I was first coming out, I didn't have to worry about what they would say because it was just letters on a screen. And on top of that in a small town it can be hard to find the gays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2007 6:41 AM GMT
    I met my current bf here. We have been seeing one another for over a year. I have also made a couple of very good pals here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 12, 2007 11:47 AM GMT
    I feel ambivalent about meeting guys off the internet. They are never how you imagine them, even if they have loads of pictures on their profile.

    In many respects I prefer meeting guys in bars or through friends because then you haven't built up all these expectations. And I find it impossible not to create a picture in my head about what someone is going to be like.

    If I want sex then I prefer going to a sauna because at least you don't have to deal with all the above nonsense.

    I don't think dating is any easier or simpler with the internet, in many ways it has just created more distractions and more opportunities to cheat and lie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2007 1:19 PM GMT
    well most of the guys if done stuff with i've met on the net and most of em lasted either for 1 night/day stand or a few weeks but my current bf we met on the net about 3-4 years ago met in person twice and we've been engaged and together now for nearly 10 months.... so you can find mr right on the net and you can find really good friends too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2007 7:05 PM GMT
    i've met two... dated one for 2 years and am now dating the other for the past 2 months....

    i talked to the first one for about 3 months before i met him, then talked to my current bf for 5 years before i met him (and a year before we even exchanged pictures).

    finding love online isnt as rare or impossible as i thought it was before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 05, 2007 7:10 PM GMT
    Ive met alot of guys online since I dont really have an active gay scene in my area. Most of them I would consider casual friends at most. Ive had the occasional one night stand. Long term friends maybe 2 or 3 but never a relationship has come out that whole experience
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    Feb 08, 2008 4:12 PM GMT
    Interesting topic . I have had two long term relationships in my life so far. The last one about twelve years ago. It was hard breaking up. I met one of them at a party of friends. After that relationship ended ,I met my next relationship at the gym. After that I haven't been trying to find anyone. I've never had a long term relationship from the internet. I have rarely met anyone in person. As I get older I think it is less likely someone will ask me out for coffee or to be in a long term relationship.