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Bottoming and Erections

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 2:05 PM GMT
    Hey Guys,
    I really need some feedback because I'm really stressing out right now. So for the past 10 yrs my entire gay sexual experience has been as a top. I love being a top and have only tried bottoming twice and I hated it. I have had sex with a handful of guys and I've never had any problems, I'm hard the whole time, can cum everytime, and really enjoy sex. Well I recently got out of a 3 yr relationship where I was top he was bottom, and started to see someone new. This new guy is a top. So we both agreed we would have to flip fuck because we both wanted to top. And he's been telling me just to relax and that I will enjoy it. So it finally came time to be intimate with one another and I go to top him and I can't stay hard enough to penerate. My dick is like a noodle! This has never happened to me! Especially when I'm about to have have sex. So then I let him top me because I just can't get it up. I'm stressing the whole time about how this is the first time I'm sleeping with this guy and I look like I have ED! I eventually was able to cum several times while he topped me. But I was never able to get hard enough to top him. Has this ever happened to anyone before? Why can I all of sudden not stay hard? I never let anyone play with my ass before cuz I don't really like it, but since I knew I was going to have to bottom I did "clean out" and allowed him to do so. Do you think that that may have caused this? I bottomed for this guy because I really like him and want to continue to sleep with him but I really prefer to top and I dont' want to be exclusively a bottom. Whenever we are apart I'm constantly thinking about him and walk around with a rock hard dick all day. Why can't I keep it hard when he's actually with me in bed? This is really freak'in me out. Please tell me what's going on!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 2:12 PM GMT
    Sounds like a classic case of performance anxiety to me.

    You just need to chill out about it and have no expectations. If you build it up into this massive thing, your erection will deflate faster than a balloon in a cactus field.

    I'd recommend not having this 'my turn, your turn' thing. I admit it might be a bit difficult as you'll want to make sure you're clean before being fucked, so perhaps you both need to give it a wash if you know you're going to get down to it, but instead of rushing straight into anal sex, just spend plenty of time on foreplay and see where it leads - maybe you top him, maybe he tops you, maybe you top each other and keep switching around?

    If you're worried you might not maintain your erection, try using a cockring for a bit of extra support.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
    what he said
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jul 12, 2010 7:54 PM GMT
    get a lil' drunk, some a lil' grass and .......relax!!



    (oops..did i hit the "submit" button?)
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 7:58 PM GMT
    These guys got the right idea. I was the same way the first time I slept with my ex, but once I chilled out I couldn't keep mine down. It sounds like you both are a true top but unless y'all can stick with the flip fuck compromise you may want to consider seeking a bottom....But it sounds like you really like him so see if the flip fuck cant work for y'all.
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    Jul 12, 2010 9:14 PM GMT
    Hey Guys,
    Thanks for the feedback. But actually there was a lot of foreplay that went into my before I actually took the plunge. Like I said I never ever let anyone eat my ass, finger my ass, etc. But now all of a sudden i'm cleaning out my ass before I have sex, having my ass stimulated, I just wonder if all this stuff going on in my ass might have caused me to go limp. I'm just not used to it. But even still we came twice, then went to dinner and came back home for round 3, and once I again I was soft! I mean its just crazy to me, I'm never horny and soft at the same time. I just feel really embarressed because he said to me "you know its ok to be a bottom." Obviously I agree, without bottoms we wouldn't be having sex, but the truth is I'm not a bottom, bottoming is not the way I enjoy having sex, its currently only happening because a. I really really like this guy and want to satisfiy him and b. because I can't get it up. I'm absolutely terrified now to sleep with him again because I'm afraid it will happen again. I've never used any pills or anything and have no idea how I would even go about getting them, so I'm not sure how I can make sure it won't happen again.icon_redface.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2010 9:29 PM GMT
    You are both tops. I think you are just trying to hard to compare yourself to him.
    Like 2 red cars, they look alike but how do they really drive.

    I trust you know what you are doing, so relax and enjoy.
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    Jul 13, 2010 11:36 AM GMT
    Addictedtothegym saidHey Guys,
    Thanks for the feedback. But actually there was a lot of foreplay that went into my before I actually took the plunge. Like I said I never ever let anyone eat my ass, finger my ass, etc. But now all of a sudden i'm cleaning out my ass before I have sex, having my ass stimulated, I just wonder if all this stuff going on in my ass might have caused me to go limp. I'm just not used to it. But even still we came twice, then went to dinner and came back home for round 3, and once I again I was soft! I mean its just crazy to me, I'm never horny and soft at the same time. I just feel really embarressed because he said to me "you know its ok to be a bottom." Obviously I agree, without bottoms we wouldn't be having sex, but the truth is I'm not a bottom, bottoming is not the way I enjoy having sex, its currently only happening because a. I really really like this guy and want to satisfiy him and b. because I can't get it up. I'm absolutely terrified now to sleep with him again because I'm afraid it will happen again. I've never used any pills or anything and have no idea how I would even go about getting them, so I'm not sure how I can make sure it won't happen again.icon_redface.gif


    You came twice from getting fucked...enjoy it! sounds like more of a "i have to be the man issue" which is rubbish bottoms are tougher than tops.
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  • DCEric

    Posts: 3869

    Jul 13, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    I've had problems before when the condom was too small. Just to throw another idea out there.
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jul 13, 2010 2:33 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]suthrnstud said..
    You came twice from getting fucked...enjoy it! ..[/quote]

    yeh u rite! "I" should be SO lucky everytime i bottom! icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gif
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jul 13, 2010 2:56 PM GMT
    DCEric saidI've had problems before when the condom was too small.


    brag

    bragg

    BRAGGGGGG!!!

    icon_lol.gif

    icon_wink.gif

    icon_twisted.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 5:30 PM GMT
    DCEric saidI've had problems before when the condom was too small. Just to throw another idea out there.


    Well this may actually be a part of it now that you mention it. See I used the condoms I've always used which I've never had a problem with before. however I always went soft when we put the condom on. And in my last relationship although embaressing to admit, we didn't use codoms because we were completely monoagmous, had been together for years, and both got our annual HIV test where we shared our results with one another. I would never bareback with a guy I barely know, who I'm not even in a relationship with, but maybe I should try a new brand of condoms? I always buy trojans. Any other recommendations?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    Just ask your doctor for some cialis to use until you get over the performance anxiety.
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  • MrNomis

    Posts: 268

    Sep 13, 2010 7:21 PM GMT
    dang! this seems to be the same problem i am having.. i even wondered " am i becoming a bottom now!?" i will say that i am also uncut and i tend to come alot faster than some guys.. i tried and think of many things but i think the anticipation and excitement takes over me.. Now i know there is nothing wrong with being a bottom and that it takes alot for a man to be a bottom, but hey i have needs as well.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2010 4:30 AM GMT
    bottoms rule lets hear it for us lol lol.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    MOST bottoms rule
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    safety43 saidbottoms rule lets hear it for us lol lol.


    Thats what they call POWER Bottoms! Yeeaaahh!!! icon_wink.gif
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  • janu88

    Posts: 348

    Nov 20, 2010 8:50 AM GMT
    hampig71 said
    DCEric saidI've had problems before when the condom was too small. Just to throw another idea out there.


    Well this may actually be a part of it now that you mention it. See I used the condoms I've always used which I've never had a problem with before. however I always went soft when we put the condom on. And in my last relationship although embaressing to admit, we didn't use codoms because we were completely monoagmous, had been together for years, and both got our annual HIV test where we shared our results with one another. I would never bareback with a guy I barely know, who I'm not even in a relationship with, but maybe I should try a new brand of condoms? I always buy trojans. Any other recommendations?



    it´s probably the condom aswell..
    first few times with my ex , mine wasnt a total noodle but it wasnt full on!
    and i could felt it.
    later we had sex without , because we were monogamous aswell.
    and had no problem keeping a boner.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 23, 2010 6:15 PM GMT
    definately performance anxiety...I occasionally get that when im with someone I LIKE ALOT and I really want them to like me more and more. Its just anxiety, it goes away....
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 4:40 AM GMT
    Perhaps a female condom that goes in him and not on you? I know several escorts that swear by them.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    hampig71 said
    DCEric saidI've had problems before when the condom was too small. Just to throw another idea out there.


    Well this may actually be a part of it now that you mention it. See I used the condoms I've always used which I've never had a problem with before. however I always went soft when we put the condom on. And in my last relationship although embaressing to admit, we didn't use codoms because we were completely monoagmous, had been together for years, and both got our annual HIV test where we shared our results with one another. I would never bareback with a guy I barely know, who I'm not even in a relationship with, but maybe I should try a new brand of condoms? I always buy trojans. Any other recommendations?


    If there on the small try the Trojan Magnum Ecstasy Different shape plenty of room feels natural. Not that big of fan of the lube though.
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  • zezana

    Posts: 17

    Mar 09, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    COLORED TEXT GOES HERERESIZED TEXT GOES HERE
    U have loved this guy than normal, UR interal psychology , U R his female And U'll be his bottom, icon_lol.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    You've never done bottom before and your penis does not know what to do.

    Education...they say since the anus is not flexible like the vagina, the topper is told to communicate and work with the bottom on what touching methods can arouse their partner. There are articles on this type of sex, that when I just read them they sounded good.

    The way they describe missionary sex is quite stimulating.

    Foreplay...Your partner with their hands on action, should stimulate your parts.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2011 8:25 AM GMT
    Paragraphs! Please!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    Addictedtothegym saidHey Guys,
    Thanks for the feedback. But actually there was a lot of foreplay that went into my before I actually took the plunge. Like I said I never ever let anyone eat my ass, finger my ass, etc. But now all of a sudden i'm cleaning out my ass before I have sex, having my ass stimulated, I just wonder if all this stuff going on in my ass might have caused me to go limp. I'm just not used to it. But even still we came twice, then went to dinner and came back home for round 3, and once I again I was soft! I mean its just crazy to me, I'm never horny and soft at the same time. I just feel really embarressed because he said to me "you know its ok to be a bottom." Obviously I agree, without bottoms we wouldn't be having sex, but the truth is I'm not a bottom, bottoming is not the way I enjoy having sex, its currently only happening because a. I really really like this guy and want to satisfiy him and b. because I can't get it up. I'm absolutely terrified now to sleep with him again because I'm afraid it will happen again. I've never used any pills or anything and have no idea how I would even go about getting them, so I'm not sure how I can make sure it won't happen again.icon_redface.gif


    TRy checking out Herbal4all.com . They have a herbal Viagra called Vigour Niagra, which is really excellent for getting it up and keeping it up. It really solved some embarrassing moments for me.
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