Am I over reacting?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 8:35 AM GMT
    Ok, so I feel like I am reaching that point where I am “that kid” or the “snitch” but I don’t care.

    Starting from the beginning, I live in a dorm. It is the International Dorm and has people from around the world living in it. It is also a wet dorm. Now . . . I am not supposed to think any thing of it cause I’m not 21 . . . and I would never. ;)

    But getting to the point. I had MANY pictures of my days at Disney on my door. Many of my favorite moments were up there and now many have been torn down. I can live with that cause I have the pictures on my computer and all the memories in my heart, but come on. Grow up.
    Almost all semester, the people two doors down from me have been drinking. Almost every single night. They drink and party until 3:30 to even 5AM. I party, but on the weekends. They party cause that day ends in day. I have early morning classes and (I guess it is just me, but . . .) I have quizzes and exams in these classes. I know crazy, right?
    I walk out my door and smell smoke. Now most of the time, it is cigarette smoke filtering in from outside. But every now and then, I actually smell pot. That smell is not coming from outside.
    One night, I woke up to some voices. As I came to, they got clearer. I wished I was dreaming and having a nightmare. They were chanting and yelling “White Power” and banging on some doors. I hope to God they were drunk and had no idea what they were doing.

    With all this that has gone on, not one RA has come to shut people up. Not the RA on call and not even the RA assigned to live in that hall.

    I finally got the number for the RA on call. If there is an RA in the office, I’ll get them. If there is no RA in the office, my call will be forwarded to the RA on call. That does make me feel a bit safer, but not by that much. I have decided that I am going to just get somewhat extreme, even if it means I am over reacting. I am going to call the police tomorrow. I am going to call and let them know my situation so that it is documented at least. Then I am just going to call the RA on call once when this stuff goes on. If nothing happens, then the police are going to be my next call.

    I have been losing so much sleep and have been feeling so unsafe that I can’t even leave my room, it has to stop.

    Now, I feel I need to validate my anger, fear, and insecurity. There have been hate crimes committed against gays here. My lesbian friends were getting death threats and had to move. It is no secret that I am gay. When my friend gets drunk, she introduces me as her gay. I’ve turned the corner and heard/seen people at my door saying, “He’s that gay guy.” There are even a few guys that give me this “look of murder” when they see me walking up. Basically, I don’t feel all too safe and don’t want to take ANY chances.

    Now, am I over reacting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 8:56 AM GMT
    Dude I have lived in many dorm situations and have many many crappy roommate stories. The noise thing is something you are gonna have to deal with... try earplugs, I don't know what I would do without mine (have them in right).

    As for safety; you need to talk to someone and probably move out.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 16, 2008 11:41 AM GMT
    Tigger, you're right to take this stuff seriously. This is 2008, and that kind of behaviour should not be tolerated by anyone.

    People chanting “White Power” should be behind bars.

    You're not over reacting, but if you make trouble for those people, you need to be careful (if they know it's you).

    If you think you're a snitch for reporting this, then I think we need lots more snitches icon_smile.gif

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    Feb 16, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    Just because you go to college and live in a dorm doesn't mean you have to live in Animal House.

    I think that if you check with your RA you will find that there are noise limits after a certain time of night. I think most colleges have policies like that.

    Try to make sure you have documented attempts - when, where, what you complained about, to whom you complained - with your RA and the Dorm's Director before you go to the Police. That way you will be seen as escalating the problem, but still trying to work within the system.

    You might also check with whatever dept assigns the housing - Student Affairs? - and see if there is the possibility of moving to a 'quiet' or 'study' dorm.

    Anyway, if the other guys are really partying that late EVERY night this year I doubt if you have to worry about them being back next semester.

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    Feb 16, 2008 4:12 PM GMT
    So Sorry old chap but there are low lifes all over this planet and you don't have to be thick to be one you can also be educated as they say!

    l feel for you but you must do something about it COMPLAIN!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 4:19 PM GMT
    Get out of the dorm as soon as you ca
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    Feb 16, 2008 5:04 PM GMT
    Tigger....I have lived in Dorms, Fraternity houses and a number of "group living" situations as well as apartments with room mates. All of these situation have pro's and con's. Also know that my personality is "no nonsense", I don't look for a fight, but I will not take shit from people stomping on my rights.
    Bottom line...if you are feeling threatened, don't "play nice" and don't give in to bullies and "fuck the chain of command" the police! NOW! As for the drunk, noisy and rowdy behavior.... Some of it is to be expected, but not everynight. I would be suprized that nobody else on your floor is not also annoyed. You need to maybe check with others on your floor and get a group complaint on file with the RA, RD, Dean of Housing and then the police. Make sure that each level knows you are serious. Regardless of how you are finacing your education, you are paying A LOT of MONEY and have legitimate reasons to expect to have certain standards and rules enforced and follwed by residents. It should be spelled out in your housing contract and there should be a "code of conduct", as well as "rules of the dorm" and "campus rules" that you should explore and use to your advantage. Knowledge is power and it sounds like you need to use that knowledge. Have you ever just directly talked with them and asked them to tone it down during the week? If they tell you to take a hike, let them know that you will be filing a complaint. If they threaten you, call the police. If it doesn't stop, take a few photos and maybe a quick video with the cell phone to help document your complaint or get some audio recording of the comotion and damages done. Their "rights" extend to the point that they start to affect anyone else. They may need to be reminded of that fact. If they are drinking underage on campus, they are in for major troubles. If they are smoking in the dorm, more troubles, and the dorm, yeah, not good. If they are 21 or more, they are open to the full force of the law...they are not in the "adult/kid-gray zone". This whole thing is a real poor reflection of the RA and RD. They are obviously not doing their jobs...they need to be pulled in on this to force some accountability on them too. If you are considering moving out, evaluate the pro's and con's and make your decision in a calm, unemotional and rational way. Good luck!
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    Feb 16, 2008 5:08 PM GMT
    yeah man if you don't feel safe you need to get out of the dorms. can you find someone looking for a roommate off campus? that's what i did!
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    Feb 16, 2008 6:23 PM GMT

    Send a letter to the director of residence and the Principle. Tell them if nothing get done, you will go higher. They need to be aware and do something about it.

    Good luck.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16461

    Feb 16, 2008 6:36 PM GMT
    I agree with rk, there are other residents that think the same way you do... hell I'd send a letter to the President of the University.

    But I'd also get the hell out if you feel unsafe.
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    Feb 16, 2008 6:38 PM GMT
    First, report it. It has to be documented. If you think the situation is to severe for the RA to handle, or if you think your identity will be shared with the offenders, up-level to your university's housing office. Most schools have a diversity pledge and/or anti-discrimination policy.

    Then make a request of the same department that you be moved. Besides the health concern (exposure to smoke, late hours/lack of sleep, etc.) you are concerned for your safety. I promise you there's another free room somewhere.

    My partner (now ex) and I moved into a new apartment in Vancouver, WA in 2000. The first night we were there our downstairs neighbors drank a HUGE amount of beer, tossed the empty cans at the house on the other side of the fence yelling, "Suck my c*ck you dirty Japs!" Then, they sang these crazy songs (more like lymrics)about inferior races and white power. Then, it was haircut time. They buzzed each other's heads (two brothers + one firend) and got progressively more drunk.

    The next morning we told the Management office we were moving. They gave us a nicer apartment on the other side of the complex + a month's free rent.

    Two weeks later the two brothers were in the car of an older gang (clan) member who picked up a mixed-race hitch-hiker. They parked in the lot of a local sporting goods store at 2 a.m., mugged him and stabbed him in the neck.

    These people are insane. Their beliefs violate basic human rights. They actions most often violate basic local ordinance.

    GET OUT!