What's better meeting guys online or meeting them in person

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 3:38 AM GMT
    Hey Jocks,

    I am a social evangelist online and offline. I feel my best hook-up situations happen when I'm @ the club with my best gear on. Meeting guys onlline is ok too but it seems when you meet someone online your kinda of agreeing you will or might have sex with that person.Then the expectation never seems to be what they advertised online (sometimes)

    Studies show that people who date from online have the most sex.

    But is it better than meeting someone in person?

    Have you had a long term relationship with someone you meet online?

    What do you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 4:23 AM GMT
    I haven't really dated anyone from an online site. I have some good friends from all over the world now, but just prefer to meet guys in person before I do the deed.
  • leaozinho

    Posts: 177

    Feb 02, 2007 3:48 PM GMT
    I prefer to meet in person. A real life encounter that happens during your day (street, work, gym, bar, club, wherever) is always a welcome surprise. If I meet a guy online, I like to meet him in person as soon as we can. I did meet a boyfriend from a online site and we had a good time together. we did meet later in the same day that we met online. I met a few nice guys from this site in person too. The important thing is finding if there is chemistry, that only happens in person.

    So no matter how you 'break the ice' get out there and meet in person, that is the only way to know.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 3:49 PM GMT
    I think the internet is a perfectly cool place to meet people you wouldn't normally have the chance of meeting. The idea you can connect with anyone, anywhere around the world - even see and hear them - at the click of a button is amazing.

    There's a lot to sort thru, because there are so many guys online - but I've met a lot of really amazing people. You just have to know what your lookin for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 11:11 PM GMT
    I'd love to read some of those studies. It could be that guys who meet online are more likely to be sexually compatible, since you can screen people upfront for their interests and preferences (assuming that people are honest).

    Most of the guys I've dated, I've met online. There are a few reasons for that, one being that I seldom drink and hate crowds, so bars aren't really my environment.

    Of course, online dating has been bashed time and again by those who've had bad luck (just like bars get bashed by those who are out of their element in bars). The bottom line is, a venue is a venue; all have their ups and downs. You can meet liars and losers, honest people and hot people either way. It all comes down to what you're into.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2007 12:46 AM GMT
    It has been interesting to look into how over the decades people meet each other and how it has changed. Older members of my family speak about going to dances, popular cafes, clubs, bars, all sorts of activities sponsored by local town groups and organizations, etc. to meet others their own age.

    I go to these same places today and my experiences are very differnt compared to the stories that my family tells me. From what I have observed people have become very "clickish" and reserved within their own group of friends so activities that are designed for mingling are defeated before they are even organized.

    I have found it easier to meet new friends and enter into social groups online than in person.

    For sex, or anything truely personal or intimate with someone I met online, I insist meeting in a public place first, like a restaurant. I have been able to meet really cool guys and girls with this strategy.

    I always insist on meeting in public to filter out those who are not completely honest with their online profile as well as to gage whether there will be a chemical connection.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Feb 03, 2007 4:44 AM GMT
    I think it's possible to meet people anywhere if your open to it. I have met some really cool guys online. I also met my current BF online also. If you live in a part of the country like(Chicago) that's in a virtual deep freeze durring the winter, the internet can be an extremely efficient and comfortable way to meet way to meet people, instead of freezing your ass off waiting to get into a club only to be dissapointed 4 hours and 40 dollars in drinks later after it hits you, the night is over, the bar is about to close and you have a cold and lonely trek home alone!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2007 5:08 AM GMT
    Well I'm all for technology but living in Savvy San Francisco, where everyone is online. It has made people so lazy. When I meet some of these guys they lack the confidence they exibit online. I like the chase of meeting someone in person at the club, gym, party, mall,spa, etc. I just find it alittle bit more rewarding. To see someone you like in real life and then get them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2007 6:26 AM GMT
    I prefer an actual face-to-face meeting. That way, you see, hear, smell and sense, a whole lot more than composed text and posed photos.


    Even finding anyone to meet is a challenge unless you are in an environment where people feel free to show same-sex attraction. That's why websites seem a lot more convenient.
  • freestylerrg

    Posts: 2

    Feb 03, 2007 3:09 PM GMT
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1927

    Feb 03, 2007 3:24 PM GMT
    I think it is better to meet someone in person. There are too many ways to play games online. I had been 'cyber' dating a guy and every time I asked him to meet he would back out at the last minute because of some 'emergency'. He then started to actually meet someone else and blamed me for not being aggressive enough in trying to meet him. I did not feel comfortable because I thought if I was more aggressive it would be borderline stalking. LOL!
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Feb 03, 2007 4:52 PM GMT
    Great topic and yes, the age old question....Some interesting feedback - all are totally valid reponses IMHO.

    One reponse noted that online "dating" has made people lazy. Totally agree with that - it's so much easier to sit on our ass in front of our computer than actually go out in the physical world. You only have to live in San Francisco to know how true that is.

    Online profiles say a lot about someone and yes, I actually read them. It's NOT only what people say, but what they do NOT say that interests me. Profiles act as good filters, but sometimes, just like "first look" impressions in the physical world, we can jump to conclusions. We're only human after all.

    I really think that the virtual AND physical world combined serve to allow us to meet people more suited to what we are looking for. There is no way you can truly get a feel of someone without meeting them face to face - what you see is what you get in the physical world, not always the case in the virutal world.

    Apply what you do in other aspects of your life - would you buy a house online without ever seeing it first physically? Or a car? So treat people the same way - I like to get to know guys online and finally in the real world. Since I am a hard-core triathlete I can't afford to waste my precious free time meeting someone who's a dud - yeah, it happens, but generally, I've hit jackpot most times when meeting the person in real life and have made some great friends. If they turn out duds in real life, well, I move on.

    And the guys I've met in real life who don't follow up? Well, that's a story for another day.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2007 3:24 AM GMT
    I think I have a bias towards in person for relationships, although online seems much more convenient for hook-ups.

    I met my partner of 3 years as an undergrad at Brown U. If you watch O'Reilly (I don't), or heard about this story, it was at the party featured on his show last year. It was this huge, loud, drunken party thrown by the Queer Alliance. Nearly everyone was half naked (seriously, the party is 70% straight people and almost everyone was in their underwear, all 450 of them). Our eyes locked from across the room, and I got all tingly. From that moment, I knew he was "the one". I went over and said hi, and the rest is history. The funny thing is, I never even believed in love at first sight until then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2007 11:59 PM GMT
    Yeah, agreed, more good points to consider.

    I suppose when you think about it, there is a huge amount of lonely people in the world, some who don't communicate well face to face or have other issues, so anything that helps those kinds of people make connections with others is a good thing.

    Personally, I don't do beats or saunas or pay for sex, but I wouldn't condemn or look down on anyone who does. It's their choice how they connect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2007 1:06 AM GMT
    Well, I can only relay my personal situation and my own humble opinion...

    Certain guys, including myself, have to rely on online dating as a tool for meeting guys due to geographical location..namely a city which does not have a huge gay population. Where I live is extremely gay friendly and I have met some nice friends. However, to coin a phrase, pickin's are quite slim around here. There are no gay bars or gay hang outs. The "gay community" has merged quite well with the mainstream...almost too well. Of course I live close to a larger city, Jacksonville, and only an hour or so away from the gay metropolis of Orlando, but I really don't relish the idea of meeting someone that I have to drive hours away to see. I much rather have someone that I could see without having to fill up the tank on my car. Of course, the universe has a sense of humor and if things worked out where I met Mr. Right and he lived in a land far far away...the question would be if the person was worth the effort...or if I'm a big enough person to accept the situation as is and deal with it. Hmmm..kinda strayed from my original point which was that if your city does not allow the opportunities to really mingle in the gay community, then you have to depend on tools such as the internet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2007 4:27 AM GMT
    All my dates in the last 5 years have been from on line chats.

    I like certain things about a guy...and I won't compromise.....So you can get that part taken care of thru the profiles or asking questions while chatting. ie: I like guys groomed below...shaved balls trimed or shaved pubes...I just like it that way. I don't like set up dates or blind dates set up by frineds....cause i'll be thinking during the date " I wonder if he's trimmed or .....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2007 6:53 AM GMT
    This is a great topic and alot of the responses are very valid. I've met the last four of my boyfriends online so for me the experience has been good. It really depends upon your personality and what you enjoy. I'm not a big club goer and the times that I do go, I go to just dance. I have met some kewl guys in the clubs, but some of them get nervous of that first encounter. I never met anyone at the gym - i keep that strictly for workout purposes -i hate gym cruisers.

    Then some guys are social hermits and hide behind the computer as oppose to getting out there and connecting with the rest of the world. It just depends upon your reasoning.

    For me, I said my next relationship, I want to me him person, for our eyes to connect. I am waiting on this moment because I will know it immediately when it happens.

    At this point, meet your man whereever you can, wherever you feel comfortable. When he is meant to come in your life and its time for you two to connect, it happen anywhere, anytime...Just be ready, open with no limitations!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2007 7:09 PM GMT
    I agree with the previous post. You never know the venue in which you will meet someone significant, from a committed friend for life, to a boyfriend to a partner. I think it's a mistake to make "rules" that prevent that from happening...just evaluate each on a case by case basis.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2007 6:48 PM GMT
    I can count how many times I've been to gay bars in the last few years on one hand, but I found my current partner in a gay bar. I've met many guys online (including my last boyfriend) but none turned out as perfect as my current relationship... What I'm saying is that there are tons more eligible guys out there who are not cruising online, tons of guys who don't find it stimulating to digitize photos, post them online, then write enticing profiles. It would not be smart to limit oneself to online cruising.
  • christomax

    Posts: 30

    Mar 23, 2007 4:09 PM GMT
    Offline. That way there are no "surprises," or they don't become overhyped by your imagination.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2010 4:35 AM GMT
    I want some just to have sex with my anus and get paid
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 17, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    would that work out ok with someone have your way withm anus and pay me I can dress very sexy for ou,just bang me and leave me a tip, anyone intersted in that