is having a nice/flashy things important to u?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 04, 2010 1:08 AM GMT
    so, are u one to like nice things?
    designer clothes, imported cars like mercedes, bentleys, etc?

    do u like the finer things in life?

    whats important to u?

    reason why im asking is because my boyfriend has recently started a business selling wrist bands, t-shirts, jewelery, etc on a website geared toward the vampire loving crowds of twilight, true blood, vampire diaries.

    He told me that he's going to have a bentley gt coup after the first year.
    I went on to tell him he needs to be realistivc and that maybe one day he can have a bentley, but it's probably doubtful within the first year that you'll be making enough to afford a car that is over $100,000. .

    he said i was a "dream crusher" because I didnt i doubted he would have a bentley within the first year.
    He also explained that he wants to travel and have a nice place and have a bentley. So i asked him "why have a bentley if you're going to be travelling alot?" he replies "because its something I want"


    so im now a dream crusher because i told him he wouldnt get a bentley within the first year. am i being unrealistic?

    i mean honestly, whats so great about having a bentley?
    I feel like he's so obsessed with money and these luxury items and its all gonna be a let down if the business does not take off the way he thinks. I hope it does and support him, however I'm also realistic in my thinking.

    what do u guys think?
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    Nov 04, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    The things themselves aren't good or evil. I also don't think there's anything wrong with an expensive car. However I do think you should only buy it if you can easily afford it, not if you have to toil and scrimp. Because then you get to it, it's this disproportionately expensive thing that consumes you, you'll obviously be obsessed about everyone handling it with kid gloves. And that's just stupid. If you can't enjoy it with ease it's not worth it.
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    Nov 04, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    I like nice things, but only if they're practical to be used for something.
    Decorations just to look at are useless to me.
    The only art on my walls is art done by me.
    So far, this is all I've had printed:

    I'll have others printed eventually. Other than that, no decorations.
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    Nov 04, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    I think that he is right... you are a dream crusher (and a realist.)

    Alright, the above is a little harsh. I will stand by the idea that you may be a realist and leave the dream crusher out of it.icon_lol.gif

    I am not one to care much about "the finer things in life" as defined by others. I have certain possession that I like, but I question if they would give me any status in the eyes of others. I am going to assume that he cares much more about wealth than you. I have found it can put a strain on relationships in many ways. Either he wants to spend far "too much" to have "only the best" or he begins applying his standards to your life. (Why are you driving a 1984 Toyota? I couldn't be seen in that!)

    I wish you the best, and hope that it is only his youthful dreams for his business. Nothing wrong with goals, I just worry when material goals overshadow any others.
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    Nov 04, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    It's nice to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Nothing wrong with it. It's just that different people go about different ways of doing it. Some people take it to the extreme. They need material items to validate themselves and make show their peers how successful they've become. Just let him be. But keep an eye on him. All that money will go to his head and he'll think you're a gold digger.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Nov 04, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    1) Be enthusiastic about his dreams
    2) Never have a joint bank account with him
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    Nov 04, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    Back during the real estate bubble I told myself I wanted to get two homes: a summer and a winter residence. As well as two cars, a Mercedes and a BMW. I've scaled back on that thinking since the collapse of the economy due partly caused by trying to out due the neighbors.

    It's alright to have nice things if you can afford them but people always want more. I always hear about multi-millionaires being jealous of their friends and wanting more. There's a point when you need to decide how much is enough and deciding what you want vs what you need.

    This is a little harsh but many who always want nice things are in debt because a of a need to have the best.
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    Nov 04, 2010 4:38 AM GMT
    I think your boyfriend sounds like a flake. And while I like nice things, they aren't that important to me.
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    Nov 04, 2010 6:31 AM GMT
    Sounds like South Florida to me. icon_smile.gif

    I love nice things, but on a completely different level I guess. Since I'm a designer, I love things that are designed well. It doesn't matter how much it costs, it just needs to be well thought out. I go for quality over quantity. I'm perfectly happy getting clothes at the Gap family of stores. I might spend more on a Breville appliance over a Black and Decker, but it's because it's going to last longer and looks pretty hot! icon_smile.gif I also don't waste money on "crap" that I don't really need just because it's on sale or whatever.

    There's nothing wrong with striving for material things, as long as you're either into the same thing or at least ok with it. It seems like you're not. So, that might pose a problem.

    I think the bigger question is what's important to YOU. If your boyfriend is important, you need to support him in his goals and dreams. Maybe he needs the goal of a Bentley to do really well? But, I'm sure he needs your support as well.
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    Nov 04, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    I could care less about cars, but an amazing pair of shoes, jeans, or jacket totally rock my world.

    Since the economy sucks I've cut back quite a bit, but I still indulge on my clothing collection. There will be no CHANEL additions for the next few yearsicon_sad.gif However Prada is something a little more affordable and skankier.