Nov 13, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
Any ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.
What's the secret to finding love?
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Nov 13, 2010 4:15 PM GMT -
Nov 13, 2010 4:17 PM GMTup up down down left right left right A B A B SELECT START -
Nov 13, 2010 4:21 PM GMTsshhhhhh...the secret
STOP LOOKING! -
Nov 13, 2010 4:21 PM GMThaha, dude, that made me smile. thanks
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Nov 13, 2010 4:22 PM GMTdustin_K_tx saidsshhhhhh...the secret
Yeah, I feel like I really don't look, but sometimes I get lonely
STOP LOOKING! -
Nov 13, 2010 4:24 PM GMT -
Nov 13, 2010 4:31 PM GMTdustin_K_tx saidSTOP LOOKING!
That doesn't work, either. -
Nov 13, 2010 4:32 PM GMTOh how I love 8-bit throwbacks -
Nov 13, 2010 4:32 PM GMTBeing at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate! -
Nov 13, 2010 4:38 PM GMTBuddyinNYC saidBeing at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate!
Exactly.
When you love yourself you are able to love someone else. -
Nov 13, 2010 4:38 PM GMTUsually you don't find love......love finds you
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Nov 13, 2010 4:39 PM GMT93 -
Nov 13, 2010 4:39 PM GMTI stop finding love. Just make it. ha ha ha.
Actually, my focus has been to love myself rather than to wait/find someone else to love me. -
Nov 13, 2010 4:40 PM GMTmalefeet saidUsually you don't find love......love finds you
I totally agree. Don't look for it, it will come along unexpectedly. Just enjoy life to the fullest.
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Nov 13, 2010 4:44 PM GMTserendipity, or perhaps synchronicity. -
Nov 13, 2010 4:49 PM GMTdu_jock saidAny ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.
Do what you like to do and you will find him there. -
Nov 13, 2010 5:27 PM GMThauptstimme said
BuddyinNYC saidBeing at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate!
Exactly.
When you love yourself you are able to love someone else.
That's not the issue man. I love myself and ready to love someone else. -
Nov 13, 2010 5:34 PM GMTBeing relaxed and open-minded? -
Nov 13, 2010 5:36 PM GMTdu_jock saidAny ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.
Tell me when you find it.
Perhaps the secret is patience... -
Nov 13, 2010 6:22 PM GMTThe secret is to get out and enjoy life. Volunteer to do things, get with other people. Go running or cycling. Put yourself where other people are. You won't meet a soul staying home. It's a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better your chances to make good friends, and eventually meet someone special! -
Nov 13, 2010 6:40 PM GMTAvadaKedavra saidup up down down left right left right A B A B SELECT START
lol NICE! true love here I come!
I have to admit I agree with a lot of the advice... but it's a little funny that MOST of the guys who posted a response are single and are therefore not with their love lol
But either way... my 2nd favourite piece of advice here was Caslon16000's 'Do what you like to do and you will find him there.'
GOod luck! -
Nov 13, 2010 6:45 PM GMTLove?
Isnt it just always there?
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iow, dont look for something that is always there all the time... just be open to it -
Nov 13, 2010 7:01 PM GMTDon't look for it and don't have a list of specific criteria that he needs to comply with...be open to adapt to him and he will adapt to you.
Both times it has happened to me I wasn't looking. The first time was in a bar in Amsterdam celebrating my 30th. He was German, I wasn't sure about him at first, but we got talking and he turned out to be a complete lovable goof ball....we were together about 3 years on and off. The second time was on a4a! A hot handsome guy hit me up and here we are six years later...he's the love of my life and my best friend. -
Nov 13, 2010 7:12 PM GMTI'd like to say "It goes without saying..." but that's not it. While stopping your search is part of the answer it isn't the entire task.
The truth behind it is in being happy in being single. Not for the sake of being single but rather with yourself. The reason that this works is the same reason that guys are more often 'hit on' when they're in a good relationship than not is that the confidence and satisfaction of everyday life is far more attractive in subtle ways than is the guy in 'searching for love' mode.
This is the same reason that it's often recommended that when someone has just ended a long relationship, that they not start a new one for at least a year.
Loving yourself is important, but you must understand that you need to get to point of not needing anyone to fulfill that. When you're happy enough in living a single life, one that doesn't require another person to somehow 'complete' you, then you're much more likely to achieve two important states of being (as it were) that put you in a position of meeting someone who could be perfect for you.
1. Your lacking the need for someone in your life gives you confidence to enjoy your life on a day to day basis. There are no ties to hold you back. There are no limitations on what you need to be happy. There are no restraints on your expressing yourself honestly in your opinions, avocations, and activities. This makes you happy and more attractive to others (whether or not you're attracted to them.)
2. Once you are living your life in a genuinely fulfilling manner, you're less likely to settle for someone who has 'some' of the traits that you want, regardless of whether those traits are in the areas of looks, talent, resource, altruism, culture, etc. You will be a in a far better position to turn down someone with some dazzling feature that you're particularly attracted to and more clearly see the deficits that would cause problems in the future (whether near or far.) You will also more clearly see which of your personal requirements for the 'perfect man' are superficial or even counterproductive.
When you get to that point, the problem you will face is not whether the 'right man' is out there, but rather 'which one do I choose.' If you are truly happy within yourself, the choice will be easy and you'll have little difficulty in the choice. If there is difficulty, then the likelihood is that neither is right.
I always liked the expression, "I want to become the man my dog thinks I am." Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me how. That's the part I had to figure out for myself. That happened by both looking at what I did wrong, and also in the observation of others who had relationships to which I aspired. -
Nov 13, 2010 7:39 PM GMTCREATE IT IN YOUR HEART, AND YOU'LL NEVER BE WITHOUT IT
Oh yea, ...and listen to The Beatles now-and-then.
