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Is dating impossible if you are NOT muscular?

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Nov 21, 2010 8:18 AM GMT

The last thread I was reading kinda made me think that dating anyone in general is impossible if you don't have muscles. It seems like it's easier if I was straight because then people care about the personality and character over body type. It's like the gay guys will only talk about bodies only focus on that. If I met a muscular guy, I probably wouldn't acknowledge it half the time. It seems like if you don't look huge and muscular, you'll get made fun of constantly if you hit on any gay guy, and the chances to find someone drops to less than 1%.

I think reading threads that bash slim guys heavily gives me less hope that I'll find somebody, seeing as people seem to only be attracted to muscle. I don't have high standards when looking for a relationship, just want a chill, normal person.

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Nov 21, 2010 5:51 PM GMT

I don't think the chances are less than 1%

The last couple of guys I hit on weren't huge and muscular. They were tall and skinny, actually. You don't need muscles to be hit on. In fact, in my opinion if you have less muscles, your more likely to find good men; Men who appreciate a good personality despite a person's looks.

If you went out and gained 40 pounds of muscle, do you really think you'll only attract normal and genuine people? You'll most likely get a lot of superficial guys mixed in with the bunch.

Dating is possible for guys with no muscles. Trust me. Just be yourself.

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Nov 21, 2010 5:53 PM GMT

Not really. The guys on RJ aren't a true representation of the average man or the gay community because most of the guys that do go to the gym come here because part of it is for fitness. I'm sure we'll find a lot of guys that don't care about their fitness or bodies in our day to day life =).

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Nov 21, 2010 5:54 PM GMT

KobaltMan said
I don't think the chances are less than 1%

The last couple of guys I hit on weren't huge and muscular. They were tall and skinny, actually. You don't need muscles to be hit on. In fact, in my opinion if you have less muscles, your more likely to find good men; Men who appreciate a good personality despite a person's looks.

If you went out and gained 40 pounds of muscle, do you really think you'll only attract normal and genuine people? You'll most likely get a lot of superficial guys mixed in with the bunch.

Dating is possible for guys with no muscles. Trust me. Just be yourself.

All true. Also, keep in mind that you or looking at the forums on RealJock - a site for men who are muscular, want to be muscular, or like muscular. You overall impression is probably skewed from the average person.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:03 PM GMT

KnuxNole saidThe last thread I was reading kinda made me think that dating anyone in general is impossible if you don't have muscles. It seems like it's easier if I was straight because then people care about the personality and character over body type. It's like the gay guys will only talk about bodies only focus on that. If I met a muscular guy, I probably wouldn't acknowledge it half the time. It seems like if you don't look huge and muscular, you'll get made fun of constantly if you hit on any gay guy, and the chances to find someone drops to less than 1%.

I think reading threads that bash slim guys heavily gives me less hope that I'll find somebody, seeing as people seem to only be attracted to muscle. I don't have high standards when looking for a relationship, just want a chill, normal person.

no offense intended, but that's ridiculous. I know a lot of gay guys who prefer slim guys, and i even know gay guys who prefer "beefy" or stocky guys. In fact, out of all the gay guys i know, the guys who only date muscular guys are in the minority for sure.

However you came to your conclusion, it's clear that it's skewed.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:04 PM GMT

KobaltMan said
I don't think the chances are less than 1%

The last couple of guys I hit on weren't huge and muscular. They were tall and skinny, actually. You don't need muscles to be hit on. In fact, in my opinion if you have less muscles, your more likely to find good men; Men who appreciate a good personality despite a person's looks.

If you went out and gained 40 pounds of muscle, do you really think you'll only attract normal and genuine people? You'll most likely get a lot of superficial guys mixed in with the bunch.

Dating is possible for guys with no muscles. Trust me. Just be yourself.

This is probably true. If I gained 40 pounds of muscle, I can see myself asking out the skinniest guy out there and if the big guys look at us, I'd stick my tongue out and make out with my lover to show the love

And that is true too, I am absolutely NOT looking for hookups, or ANY of that sort. Just a normal long term relationship.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:04 PM GMT

No i think dating is possible,but just if you want to have a hot guy with a great body you at least must have a nice one too.I am sure there is some guys that don't want in a guy just hot abs and great body i am sure i know one of them.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:06 PM GMT

DanielQQ said
KnuxNole saidThe last thread I was reading kinda made me think that dating anyone in general is impossible if you don't have muscles. It seems like it's easier if I was straight because then people care about the personality and character over body type. It's like the gay guys will only talk about bodies only focus on that. If I met a muscular guy, I probably wouldn't acknowledge it half the time. It seems like if you don't look huge and muscular, you'll get made fun of constantly if you hit on any gay guy, and the chances to find someone drops to less than 1%.

I think reading threads that bash slim guys heavily gives me less hope that I'll find somebody, seeing as people seem to only be attracted to muscle. I don't have high standards when looking for a relationship, just want a chill, normal person.

no offense intended, but that's ridiculous. I know a lot of gay guys who prefer slim guys, and i even know gay guys who prefer "beefy" or stocky guys. In fact, out of all the gay guys i know, the guys who only date muscular guys are in the minority for sure.

However you came to your conclusion, it's clear that it's skewed.

That is good, I guess I need to find more guys that love slim jims! I love them too!

I was reading a thread saying that skinny guys have no chance since everyone will see them as someone who has no respect for working out, and every gay male will go for a muscular guy.

I dunno if that thread was only about hookups, or long-lasting relationships, because I'd rather be with a guy who I have common interests with opposed to someone that looks like a 10/10

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Nov 21, 2010 6:23 PM GMT

Shit, not being muscular is not the problem, at least here in my town, the guy i was going out opted out for a guy that was totally the opposite of me, doesn't like to workout (i don't have anything against not working out). So i don't know what the fuck i have to have a second dick? lol
He basically stopped talking and seeing me and later on i got a text from his bff saying that they were going out so i was like oh ok, thanks. So i don't know what sucks more to be rejected by the guy or by the guy's "bff" aka real BF...

AvadaKedavra

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Nov 21, 2010 6:24 PM GMT

KnuxNole said
I dunno if that thread was only about hookups, or long-lasting relationships, because I'd rather be with a guy who I have common interests with opposed to someone that looks like a 10/10

I would rather be with a guy who has both. why not right?

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Nov 21, 2010 6:25 PM GMT

Dont feel bad and don't let the threads get to you. If you take everything you read in threads as fact or the norm you will build up this world in your own mind that this is how things are and its going to limit you.

You'll find someone, you just have to stop looking

BrianFTW

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Nov 21, 2010 6:25 PM GMT

Muscles and ripped abs are completely useless if the person inside can't match what they have built on the outside. If the container is empty, it doesn't matter how beautiful it is on the outside, all it really is good for is to gather dust.

When it comes to anyone's "chances" with someone else, the whole thing depends on what both people are looking for. Guys who are primarily interested in hooking up and conquest are going to naturally going to go for whatever ideal body type they are attracted to without any concern as to who lives inside that body. Guys who are more relationship oriented may have the door opened by muscles and great looks, but if the substance isn't there to back it up, no matter how great the guy looks, the situation is doomed.

One thing I've recently posted here is that "guys are like apartments". The reality is, with any apartment, that someone has lived there who loved it and someone has lived there who hated it. So it goes with guys, there are those who will find you beautiful and those who will find you to be not at all their type.

Be the person you really are, not a combination of what you think others THINK you should be. Love yourself and tell yourself you are beautiful and then tell yourself why. What makes you beautiful? Reality is that there are probably more people who find you attractive than not, and if what you have to offer from within is great, then you are going to be surprised at who you draw in.

Never let anyone make you feel "less than". They can only do that with your consent. You are the only one of you that exists today, that ever has and that ever will. Anyone with half a brain and a heart who takes the time to get to know another human being will find things to appreciate. And in dating, finding things to mutually admire and respect in one another is the key. Muscles only go so far.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:28 PM GMT

KUDOS lakeviewbryan

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Nov 21, 2010 6:43 PM GMT

KnuxNole saidIt seems like it's easier if I was straight because then people care about the personality and character over body type.

Crazy, party of one.

From what I noticed in Los Angeles is that women don't tend to be nearly as picky as men... which is why you see a lot of gross male- sexy female couples. First thought, "He must make tons of money..."

Having a great body shows a great deal of dedication and restraint-
It is not impossible to find a date, far from it, but if you're only trying to date muscular men it can seem improbable.

You probably won't acknowledge it half the time- but it's probably what attracted you to him in the first place.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:47 PM GMT

Dating a muscular(or equivalent level fitness) guy if you are not muscular(or equivalently fit) is improbable because it's selfish to expect a muscular guy you're attracted to to be interested in you back when, by your own criteria of initial physical attraction for him, you wouldn't be attracted to yourself. If you were attracted to guys with around the same level of non-athleticism as yourself you wouldn't have that problem.

That thread wasn't on hating on slim guys for just being slim. It was about guys desiring physical traits in a partner that they themselves don't require when it comes to their own body.

lakeviewbryanMuscles and ripped abs are completely useless if the person inside can't match what they have built on the outside.

And when, as is more likely than not since muscle development won't happen by accident but by hard work and a high level dedication, the person inside does match the person outside, what then?

Like I don't have a vendetta against fat guys for being fat, I don't have one against slim guys for being slim. I just can't stand it when unfit guys just complain about "shallow", muscular and/or fit guys not being attracted to them instead of getting off their ass and doing something about it in a gym or some other training area.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:50 PM GMT

A1EX said
KnuxNole saidIt seems like it's easier if I was straight because then people care about the personality and character over body type.

Crazy, party of one.

From what I noticed in Los Angeles is that women don't tend to be nearly as picky as men... which is why you see a lot of gross male- sexy female couples. First thought, "He must make tons of money..."
Having a great body shows a great deal of dedication and restraint-
It is not impossible to find a date, far from it, but if you're only trying to date muscular men it can seem improbable.

You probably won't acknowledge it half the time- but it's probably what attracted you to him in the first place.

Dammit, four minutes too late. Should have spent less time checking the spelling and grammar >__<

"You probably won't acknowledge it half the time- but it's probably what attracted you to him in the first place." epitomizes a big problem I have with this too. It's not fair to the guy who went to all the trouble of developing their body.

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Nov 21, 2010 6:58 PM GMT

I should clarify

I'm NOT only attracted to muscular men. If I meet another skinny guy who is attracted to skinny guys and is down-to-earth, I'll be set for life.

Plus, I don't need to lift weights to "correct" anything, since I'm happy trying to stay healthy and keeping my slim body type. Not everyone who isn't muscular doesn't want to be, I know I would rather stay happy than be miserable with myself.

Another poster makes a good point, looks aren't everything for long lasting relationships. And that's what I'm into, I'm not into dating people for a week then throwing them away.

Also, it's not like I want a "hot" guy to show off. I would never want to show off my boyfriend to everyone, and I hope noone would want to do that for me, because I would

the whole time

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Nov 21, 2010 7:24 PM GMT

KnuxNole saidI should clarify

I'm NOT only attracted to muscular men. If I meet another skinny guy who is attracted to skinny guys and is down-to-earth, I'll be set for life.

Plus, I don't need to lift weights to "correct" anything, since I'm happy trying to stay healthy and keeping my slim body type. Not everyone who isn't muscular doesn't want to be, I know I would rather stay happy than be miserable with myself.

Another poster makes a good point, looks aren't everything for long lasting relationships. And that's what I'm into, I'm not into dating people for a week then throwing them away.

Also, it's not like I want a "hot" guy to show off. I would never want to show off my boyfriend to everyone, and I hope noone would want to do that for me, because I would the whole time

In that case, you have nothing to worry about.

There are threads on this site which bash slim guys because this is a site which skews heavily in favor of guys who are into muscle. Do not confuse this site with the world of gay men in general! I know many gay guys, plenty of them happily partnered or happily single and getting lots of action, and they come in all shape and sizes. Most of them have "normal" bodies - fat, skinny, etc.

So, your pessimism is unwarranted. Relax and be yourself.

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Nov 22, 2010 12:53 AM GMT

MenschPress said
this is a site which skews heavily in favor of guys who are into muscle. Do not confuse this site with the world of gay men in general! I know many gay guys, plenty of them happily partnered or happily single and getting lots of action, and they come in all shape and sizes. Most of them have "normal" bodies - fat, skinny, etc.

So, your pessimism is unwarranted. Relax and be yourself.

Exactly.

Guys who go on here a lot may perceive RJ as a representation of the gay world in reality and thus it may cause insecurities because some of us guys will never fit the body types that are preferred on here either due to a preference not to work out, laziness or just self-doubt. This can be likened to women looking at magazines and ads of ultra skinny models and feeling the pressure to look that way when it is 'unnatural' -- unnatural in the sense that being ultra skinny or ultra muscly does not happen naturally [no offense intended]! After all every RJ profile on here is an advertisement of a physical ideal in its own right.

Look at guys around you on the streets, when do you ever see a perfectly sculpted male? Only on here you see guys like that because mostly guys who are into fitness join this site.

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Nov 22, 2010 1:55 AM GMT

Gbob said
MenschPress said
this is a site which skews heavily in favor of guys who are into muscle. Do not confuse this site with the world of gay men in general! I know many gay guys, plenty of them happily partnered or happily single and getting lots of action, and they come in all shape and sizes. Most of them have "normal" bodies - fat, skinny, etc.

So, your pessimism is unwarranted. Relax and be yourself.

Exactly.

Guys who go on here a lot may perceive RJ as a representation of the gay world in reality and thus it may cause insecurities because some of us guys will never fit the body types that are preferred on here either due to a preference not to work out, laziness or just self-doubt. This can be likened to women looking at magazines and ads of ultra skinny models and feeling the pressure to look that way when it is 'unnatural' -- unnatural in the sense that being ultra skinny or ultra muscly does not happen naturally [no offense intended]! After all every RJ profile on here is an advertisement of a physical ideal in its own right.

Look at guys around you on the streets, when do you ever see a perfectly sculpted male? Only on here you see guys like that because mostly guys who are into fitness join this site.

This is true, I rarely see built men walking around, which is a good thing I guess, since its not like the "high school" feeling of 99% jocks if I walk into a gay-related place.

Like, If I was to join a gay recreational team, I dunno if they would want to play with a beginner/casual like me who is mainly looking to have fun.

So, here's hoping to meet somebody, of any body type, who will love me for NOT having to spend dedication and time on pumping iron

It's not a bad thing, dont get me wrong, I just have ZERO interest in it, I prefer to do tons and tons of other things with my life. Weightlifting and eating a shitload of food is not appealing to me, I don't have any desire or genuine interest in that one aspect of fitness.

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Nov 22, 2010 2:04 AM GMT

I don't know about everyone, but I love having an active lifestyle and I like to surround myself with people in the same mind set - being healthy, eating right (and good food!), and exercising. I hold the same standards for those I choose to date.

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Nov 22, 2010 2:08 AM GMT

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people HATE muscly guys, other love them. I'm pretty muscly and have been dumped my fair share of times.

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Nov 22, 2010 2:09 AM GMT

Nah, thats utterly not true.

I am not the buffest dude around here, but I still get attention.

Muscles and looks will fade over time, but the personality still stays the same...although it is true that you do get attracted by looks first, but most couples who stay together discover that their personalities matches....

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Nov 22, 2010 2:39 AM GMT

Gbob saidNot really. The guys on RJ aren't a true representation of the average man or the gay community because most of the guys that do go to the gym come here because part of it is for fitness. I'm sure we'll find a lot of guys that don't care about their fitness or bodies in our day to day life =).

True. Most are average. I prefer average bodied guys. Average meaning slender without definition, or just lanky or thin or some extra pounds type of guys.. I have not ever been into muscular guys.

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Nov 22, 2010 3:19 AM GMT

There's a new guy at work who was teasing with me about my gayness.
I told him he has nothing to worry about and might as well stay straight because he's overweight, and no gay man would have him anyway.

Needless to say, we're like best buddies now.

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Is dating impossible if you are NOT muscular?